[March 5] Bob and George - Mimicry

[eterdreams.livejournal.com]

Title: Mimicry
Day/Theme: March 5. I am nothing, you are wind and devil and God
Series: Bob and George
Character/Pairing: George
Rating: PG

He had been afraid before a few times, yeah. He wasn't as cocky as his brother, he wouldn't say he was fearless. Especially when he knew his brother had some very odd phobias.

But this was really new to him, if you know what he means, and he'd probably say so if he could find the words. He already knew it was coming before he even came in: He was going to be in disguise as the creator of the universe. Sounded like an odd disguise to him. Since when did the creators of dimensions actually show up in the flesh, much less in old Megaman games? Did they even show up in the flesh, or were they glowing spirit triangles or balls of light or whatever, like in Zelda?

He wasn't either of those, though. Whoever this creator of the universe was, he looked human, wore purple (he nearly laughed at that when he arrived. Whoever ran this universe obviously never heard of subtext) and had the oddest line going down from above his ear to his shoulder. Anyways, he had a few things to be afraid of.

If he was caught, for example, he didn't know how this universal creator guy's powers worked, if he even had any. What about if one of the other people here asked him to, who knows, make walls or ice cream or set things on fire or blow something up or teleport or something? He really should have thought this through a little more... Going as the creator of the universe sounded really cool on paper.

And what if he actually met this guy? What if it was unusual for him to even be down here? What if he got stuck here and was forced to fake God for a while? Maybe this universe was violent! He'd be killed! Maybe the creator was violent, and could wipe him out with a snap of a finger, or the blink of an eye, or a nose-wiggle or dance or whatever creators did to activate their powers.

"Well," he reminds himself, "I'll probably find out if I stick here. I should just get Bob and get out."

Deja vu. He never liked fetching his younger brother at home. But how he was going to tackle this one? Everything was so flat and one-colored, he might not be able to find his way back even if he tried, and he didn't have the slightest clue where to start looking. On the bright side of things, if the creator of the universe was too lazy to add scenery, maybe he was too lazy to kill him. He decided to ignore the amused snort he heard. Obviously stress.

Plan 1: Try to blend in until Bob makes himself noticed (good plan since that would take about three seconds), then get Bob and get out of here before Bob gets home first or the real creator of the universe shows up. Wait, that didn't make sense. Do Gods try to blend in? Would he look suspicious? Maybe he could find some way to make smoke and appear dramatically? Or pretend he had memory loss and ask what he usually did? Except if he wasn't supposed to manifest himself, then he wouldn't normally do anything and someone would arrest him for being crazy.

Man, his plans suck. Might as well find someone to blend in with. The Megaman universe, if he remembers correctly, doesn't have a lot of NPCs. There's probably just Dr. Light and Roll and them. Who he notices conveniently standing in the distance, directly in front of him. Very directly. So directly it took him a few seconds to notice almost everything went in two directions. God was definitely very lazy, and this place wasn't very large anyways. This almost seemed planned.

But now what? He had no idea what to do if he was there. Was he supposed to appear dramatically with a loud "PFOOF" sound and a flash of light, yelling "TA-DA!" or something equally inane? Was he just another person that controlled the universe in his spare time? Was he supposed to stare over their shoulders and tell them it was their time to die? Was he even invisible?

When he stopped thinking and opened his eyes, he realized he should really stop walking while thinking. Nobody seemed to notice him, though, which was really strange but kind of nice. The best thing to do, he decides, is to just stand behind Rush (who he always remembered as looking smaller and with less colors on the NES), and maybe put on a blank frown-like expression that seemed to be standard around here. The less he stood out, the better. Hey, was that Mega Man? That was Mega Man! No time to have any unmanly fan moments though. He was sure he could say "Hi" on the way back, once he got Bob.

Proto Man had just jumped down, and there was someone just behind Mega Man he couldn't see too clearly. He'd get a better look if everything was more three-dimensional.

"Mega Man! Author!" yelled Proto Man as he landed. "We've been looking all over for you!"

Arthur? When was there a Mega Man character named Arthur? Much less somebody important enough to have the whole cast around just to look for. When did Dr. Light bother coming out to do anything?

"I see you finally stopped running, but what made you start in the first place?" he continued, not sounding at all like George thought he would. It sounded better in his head.

"I asked him the same thing, but he said he forgot," said another voice that sounds oddly familiar.

"Sounds like him. Anyways, we-"

George was distracted by Mega Man squinting at him. He wasn't doing anything too suspicous, was he?

"Mega Man? You look confused. What's the matter?"

The strangest thing happened. And he'd seen plenty of strange things. The color of the walls washed over, turning from light blue to light green in what could only be called a "blink-and-you-miss-it-moment". That definitely didn't happen back home or in the games. He was in the right universe, wasn't he?

"I am confused," replies Mega Man (who George is glad doesn't sound like a girl), probably squinting at that other person he couldn't see yet. Like a lightbulb goes off, he moves into a defensive stance. Or maybe an accusing one.

"How can you be standing over there, when..."

This sounds like one of those old murder mysteries, except nobody dies in the Mega Man universe. Unless it's the X-verse. And then Zero doesn't count.

"You're standing over there?!" he screams, dramatically pointing (or more accurately swinging a hand) at George, who also moves into a defensive pose. So does God, or Arthur, or author, who George could see clearly now for some reason.

"Shit!" mutter both at the same time.

"I am so screwed..." thinks George. "This Author guy is going to find me out and destroy me!"

Strangely, nobody else seems to react. Proto Man reacts so calmly George can't help but wonder if this is normal in this universe, and he's pretty sure none of this is.

"All right, just one minute. If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right."

At least somebody has a plan. Maybe this would be easy after all.

"First, the second Author should join the first so we can't tell you apart."

Huh?

"Okay, now all of us secondary characters are going to take off."

But that didn't even make...

"What?! Why?!" yells a confused Mega Man before I can.

"If you have to deal with this alone, it'll obviously be funnier."

"Damn! He's got me there!"

George quickly files everyone in this universe under "unstable", which doesn't bode well for the personality of the author himself.

"Anyway," continues Proto Man as if nothing is wrong. "I'm taking off now. Have fun with the twins."

Mega Man stares at them for a long time, unmoving, almost as if to waste time for something, and then speaks abruptly.

"All right. Which one of you is the real Author?"

George reacts on instinct and hopes nobody notices if his voice sounds different.

"I am!" they both yell in perfect stereo, sounding eerily alike.

Mega Man smacks his helmet.

"Damn it... Okay, wait. Both of you can't be the author."

"Right," say both in a perfect match. George wonders if this creator of the universe is doing this on purpose. Maybe to make it a more satisfying kill when he gets caught. Which he knows he will.

"So which one of you is the real Author?"

"I am."

"Then which one is the imposter?"

"He is."

Looney Tunes, Bugs Bunny, duck season, rabbit season, duck season, duck season, rabbit season, fire.

"Damn it all! This isn't getting me anywhere! Why do I even bother? Fine, if talking doesn't help, we'll just do things my way. With stupid brute force!"

He lifts his blaster at them, which was a hand a second ago. George didn't even notice the change.

"Uh-oh!" they both yell at once, but why would the creator of the universe be afraid of a few plasma shots? "Mega Man! Behind you!"

"Huh?! What?!"

Very Looney Tunes. George can't resist finishing the joke, and apparently the Author can't either.

"Zoink!"

They both run, and run, and run, but George can't help but feel they aren't going anywhere, since there still isn't any scenery. The real Author then stops, and George knows he's going to die now. Sorry, Mom.

"Okay, I think we're in the clear now. Now, perhaps you'd like to explain who you really are."

OhgodohgodohgodnothinglikeBobbestrongGeorgethinkconfidently

"Why should I tell you?" he tries, but his voice cracks slightly.

"Because I'm the one with the blaster, you imposter," threatens the creator of the universe, and George wonders why he doesn't threaten to just wipe him out of existence. God obviously preferred guns. He really was violent!

"Okay," George says, all confidence gone and surrendering, "that works for me."

He tries another plan, forgetting in the moment that his plans tend to suck.

"Wait just a minute!" he yells. He had read about this somewhere, it was called "inverse psychobabble" or something. "How do I know you're really the Author?"

"What?" replies the person undoubtedly the Author, because he couldn't be anyone else. George's plot was apparently so bad it had even baffled God. He was so, so dead.

"What proof do you have that you're really the Author?" George tries anyways.

"Um," says the Author, using a very human phrase he never would have imagined from God. There was a famous list on the internet back home of "Things You'd Never Want To Hear God Say" and this was probably one of them. "I can do this..."

With two loud "PFOOF!"s (he really does use that sound effect!), the Author vanishes in a Photoshop-esque lens flare and reappears behind him.

"Good enough for you?" says the Author. George didn't know what was more confusing. That even the Author's own effects looked lazy, or that he was obviously showing off.