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31_days2006-11-19 09:38 pm
sophiap.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2006-11-19 09:38 pm
[Nov. 19] [Avatar] either/or
Title: either/or
Day/Theme: November 19 - god's lioness
Series: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Character/Pairing: Suki, strongly implied Sokka/Suki (companion piece to "both/and" from Nov. 11)
Rating: PG
Let me tell you something--you have no idea how mad I was when you implied that because I was a woman, I couldn't be a warrior. But you also have no idea how glad I was to see that you could change your mind, and that you could see I could be both.
And no, the reason I'm glad has nothing to do with the fact that the first thing I thought when I saw you was 'nice butt.' I'm really starting to wish I'd never told you that.
You see--getting back to my original point because we can talk about your butt later--there was part of me that used to think the way you did: how can I be a girl and a warrior? Yes... you're right. Kiyoshi Island has traditionally been defended by a female army since the days of Avatar Kiyoshi herself. I should have realized I was being silly, but...
You haven't met them--yet--but two of the most important people in my life are my mother and my Auntie Kiku. I love them both, I love them both very, very much, but...
They're just so different, and for the longest time, I couldn't wrap my head around it, the fact that they're sisters. It just seemed impossible.
Auntie Kiku is tough, and she loves to fight. In fact, over the years she's managed to get herself banned from nearly every tavern on the island--some of them twice. She still trains the junior warriors, and she's so demanding and so... loud that all the apprentices dread the idea of studying under her. But when they do... You're exactly right. They all end up loving her. They always do.
And watching her fight? Seeing her in that uniform, seeing her wield her fans like they had always been a part of her? It's like watching a wolf-lioness on the hunt. Breathtaking. Frightening. Gorgeous.
Oh, I can't tell you how often I wished I could be her! I wanted so much to be taller and stronger, to grow six inches in as many days just so I could be more like her. She always told me I could be the strongest warrior in the village if I just tried hard enough. And I believed her.
On the other hand, there's my mother. So kind, so gentle, so elegant. So beautiful. I swear half the village is in love with her--even boys your age stop to watch when she goes by. She always gives the best hugs, all soft and sweet-smelling and when her cheek brushes against mine, it's like touching velvet--and somehow, she always manages not to get my makeup smeared all over her.
I mean, even if you just look at the way she moves... It's nothing like Auntie Kiku. She walks so delicately, so precisely, just like a little cat, all neat and perfectly groomed. Whenever I picture her, I see her curled up with a book on the window-seat in our house, so relaxed but still so elegant, and when she looks up, she has the most brilliant smile and she tells me to go get us some tea and come sit down for a while, just the two of us girls, together. But anyhow, while there was a part of me that wanted to be that fierce warrior, that lioness, there was also part of me that very much wanted to be that pampered housecat. I wanted to be soft and ladylike and to surround myself with beautiful things. So, when I wasn't wishing I was taller and stronger, I was wishing that I could be smaller and daintier and more refined. I know... silly.
But silly or not, there was a time when I didn't know who I was supposed to be--the lady or the warrior.
Now if you laugh at this next part, I promise I will show you exactly how dainty and gentle I am not when you're being a dork.
One night, not long before I was going to be formally inducted as one of Kiyoshi's warriors, I had a dream--and by the way, rolling your eyes counts as laughing. Just so you know.
Anyhow, I was standing in the middle of the village square, right by the statue of Avatar Kiyoshi herself. There were two animals at her feet: a wolf-lioness, and a little, bitty kitten.
And no, Sokka, I don't know why the lioness didn't eat the kitten! You do know that being a smartass is as bad if not worse than laughing or rolling your eyes, right? Now, back to what I was saying:
The lioness looked up at me, and all of a sudden there was a cub nestled between her paws. She gave me this look, as if she was trying to tell me something, and then she turned back to her cub and started washing it. Her eyes were closed, and I think she was purring. Then, it was the kitten's turn. She turned to me, and its eyes were hard and focused, not at all fuddled and confused like kittens' eyes normally are. It growled at me, low and deep in its throat, and I knew that if I so much as touched it, I'd be bleeding.
And then, things got weird, like they do in dreams. The kitten was still the kitten, but it my mother from when I was five. She was standing at the door with a pitchfork in hand, jaw set and telling the two bandits standing outside that if they wanted to rob us, they would have to go through her. And the lioness was still the lioness, but it was also Auntie Kiku, kneeling by a novice student who had just broken her wrist, and she was holding the girl to her and stroking her hair so, so gently and telling her it was okay, it was okay, the healer would be there soon.
"Why do you think you have to choose?" someone asked, and I knew it was Kiyoshi. And... you're not laughing, are you? No, you probably know more about the Avatar thing than I do, so no, you know this isn't funny at all. I still can't believe that you got to see her, and I didn't. Well, in my dreams I did.
Anyhow, she wasn't done. I didn't even have a chance to answer before she said:
"You do see that these creatures are the same, do you not, even though you would think they were opposites? The lion is a cat when it needs to be a cat, and the cat is a lion when it needs to be a lion."
I don't know why I never realized it before, but at that moment I finally noticed that even though Avatar Kiyoshi was born an earthbender, she's most known for using fans--an airbender weapon.
"You are a warrior when you need to be a warrior," she said, and the earth shook. "You are a woman when you need to be a woman," and the wind nearly knocked me off my feet.
Yup--you got it in one. That's when I woke up. And maybe it sounds silly, but I felt as if a burden had been lifted from me. The answer to who I was supposed to be was simple--I could be whoever I wanted or needed to be. I could get bruised and battered in practice with Auntie Kiku, and I could curl up on the window seat and gossip with my mother.
There's no reason I can't be both. Or either. It all depends on what I need. Or what I want.
And right now, what this lady wants is for you to come a little bit closer.
Mrrrowr...
Day/Theme: November 19 - god's lioness
Series: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Character/Pairing: Suki, strongly implied Sokka/Suki (companion piece to "both/and" from Nov. 11)
Rating: PG
Let me tell you something--you have no idea how mad I was when you implied that because I was a woman, I couldn't be a warrior. But you also have no idea how glad I was to see that you could change your mind, and that you could see I could be both.
And no, the reason I'm glad has nothing to do with the fact that the first thing I thought when I saw you was 'nice butt.' I'm really starting to wish I'd never told you that.
You see--getting back to my original point because we can talk about your butt later--there was part of me that used to think the way you did: how can I be a girl and a warrior? Yes... you're right. Kiyoshi Island has traditionally been defended by a female army since the days of Avatar Kiyoshi herself. I should have realized I was being silly, but...
You haven't met them--yet--but two of the most important people in my life are my mother and my Auntie Kiku. I love them both, I love them both very, very much, but...
They're just so different, and for the longest time, I couldn't wrap my head around it, the fact that they're sisters. It just seemed impossible.
Auntie Kiku is tough, and she loves to fight. In fact, over the years she's managed to get herself banned from nearly every tavern on the island--some of them twice. She still trains the junior warriors, and she's so demanding and so... loud that all the apprentices dread the idea of studying under her. But when they do... You're exactly right. They all end up loving her. They always do.
And watching her fight? Seeing her in that uniform, seeing her wield her fans like they had always been a part of her? It's like watching a wolf-lioness on the hunt. Breathtaking. Frightening. Gorgeous.
Oh, I can't tell you how often I wished I could be her! I wanted so much to be taller and stronger, to grow six inches in as many days just so I could be more like her. She always told me I could be the strongest warrior in the village if I just tried hard enough. And I believed her.
On the other hand, there's my mother. So kind, so gentle, so elegant. So beautiful. I swear half the village is in love with her--even boys your age stop to watch when she goes by. She always gives the best hugs, all soft and sweet-smelling and when her cheek brushes against mine, it's like touching velvet--and somehow, she always manages not to get my makeup smeared all over her.
I mean, even if you just look at the way she moves... It's nothing like Auntie Kiku. She walks so delicately, so precisely, just like a little cat, all neat and perfectly groomed. Whenever I picture her, I see her curled up with a book on the window-seat in our house, so relaxed but still so elegant, and when she looks up, she has the most brilliant smile and she tells me to go get us some tea and come sit down for a while, just the two of us girls, together. But anyhow, while there was a part of me that wanted to be that fierce warrior, that lioness, there was also part of me that very much wanted to be that pampered housecat. I wanted to be soft and ladylike and to surround myself with beautiful things. So, when I wasn't wishing I was taller and stronger, I was wishing that I could be smaller and daintier and more refined. I know... silly.
But silly or not, there was a time when I didn't know who I was supposed to be--the lady or the warrior.
Now if you laugh at this next part, I promise I will show you exactly how dainty and gentle I am not when you're being a dork.
One night, not long before I was going to be formally inducted as one of Kiyoshi's warriors, I had a dream--and by the way, rolling your eyes counts as laughing. Just so you know.
Anyhow, I was standing in the middle of the village square, right by the statue of Avatar Kiyoshi herself. There were two animals at her feet: a wolf-lioness, and a little, bitty kitten.
And no, Sokka, I don't know why the lioness didn't eat the kitten! You do know that being a smartass is as bad if not worse than laughing or rolling your eyes, right? Now, back to what I was saying:
The lioness looked up at me, and all of a sudden there was a cub nestled between her paws. She gave me this look, as if she was trying to tell me something, and then she turned back to her cub and started washing it. Her eyes were closed, and I think she was purring. Then, it was the kitten's turn. She turned to me, and its eyes were hard and focused, not at all fuddled and confused like kittens' eyes normally are. It growled at me, low and deep in its throat, and I knew that if I so much as touched it, I'd be bleeding.
And then, things got weird, like they do in dreams. The kitten was still the kitten, but it my mother from when I was five. She was standing at the door with a pitchfork in hand, jaw set and telling the two bandits standing outside that if they wanted to rob us, they would have to go through her. And the lioness was still the lioness, but it was also Auntie Kiku, kneeling by a novice student who had just broken her wrist, and she was holding the girl to her and stroking her hair so, so gently and telling her it was okay, it was okay, the healer would be there soon.
"Why do you think you have to choose?" someone asked, and I knew it was Kiyoshi. And... you're not laughing, are you? No, you probably know more about the Avatar thing than I do, so no, you know this isn't funny at all. I still can't believe that you got to see her, and I didn't. Well, in my dreams I did.
Anyhow, she wasn't done. I didn't even have a chance to answer before she said:
"You do see that these creatures are the same, do you not, even though you would think they were opposites? The lion is a cat when it needs to be a cat, and the cat is a lion when it needs to be a lion."
I don't know why I never realized it before, but at that moment I finally noticed that even though Avatar Kiyoshi was born an earthbender, she's most known for using fans--an airbender weapon.
"You are a warrior when you need to be a warrior," she said, and the earth shook. "You are a woman when you need to be a woman," and the wind nearly knocked me off my feet.
Yup--you got it in one. That's when I woke up. And maybe it sounds silly, but I felt as if a burden had been lifted from me. The answer to who I was supposed to be was simple--I could be whoever I wanted or needed to be. I could get bruised and battered in practice with Auntie Kiku, and I could curl up on the window seat and gossip with my mother.
There's no reason I can't be both. Or either. It all depends on what I need. Or what I want.
And right now, what this lady wants is for you to come a little bit closer.
Mrrrowr...