31_days | [4-Jan-2006] [Oh My Goddess! / El-Hazard] Whoop Dee Freakin' Doo!

Title: Whoop Dee Freakin' Doo!
Challenge: 4-Jan-2006 / "no good advice"
Based on: Oh My Goddess! / El-Hazard TV
Characters: Skuld, Belldandy, Fujisawa.
Type: Humor/parody; cross-over; 200 words
Rating: PG, for mild language.
Notes: Written back in May 2003, but new to LiveJournal.

(Just an excuse to quote a Chris Farley "Saturday Night Live" skit.)

El-Hazard © AIC / Pioneer LDC / Geneon.
Oh My Goddess! © Kodansha / TBS / KSS Films / AnimEigo / Pioneer / Geneon.

Skuld sat in a chair, and sighed. "Why do I have to listen to a motivational speaker?"

Belldandy smiled sweetly. "I thought it might be good for you... Fujisawa-sensei? We're ready for you."

Fujisawa stumbled into the room, wearing his hideously-mismatched brown jacket and blue pants. He was obviously very drunk.

"Alrighty, how's everybody?" Fujisawa said. "Good, gooooood... Now, as your sister told you, my name is Masamichi Fujisawa, and I am a motivational speaker. Let's get started by telling you what my life is all about. I'm 35 years old, I'm alcoholic, and I live in a van down by the river.

"Now you're probably saying to yourself, 'Hey, I'm gonna GET THE WORLD BY THE TAIL and PUT IT IN MY POCKET!' Well... I'm here to tell you that you're not going to amount to JACK SQUAT!! You're going to end up eating government cheese, and living in a van down by the river!"

Fujisawa smirked at Skuld. "Now, young lady, what do you wanna do with your life?"

Skuld sighed again. "Um, actually, sensei, I kinda wanna study engineering at Nekomi Tech..."

Fujisawa glared at Skuld, crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "Well, lah dee FREAKIN' DAH!!"