31_days | [18th December][The Ordinary Princess] The Portrait of Princess Amethyst

Title: The Portrait of Princess Amethyst
Day/Theme: 18th December/"Art is far feebler than Necessity"
Series: The Ordinary Princess
Character/Pairing: Peregrine/Amy
Rating: G/U
Words: 300

The portrait of the Princess of Phantasmorania was, contrary to expectations, as beautiful as any that had graced the walls of the King of Ambergeldar’s palace. Everybody “ooh”ed and “aah”ed dutifully, many secretly making comparisons with Princess Persephone’s portrait (she had left in a hurry after the King had announced his wedding plans) and finding Princess Amethyst’s amiable expression preferable. The only one who didn’t seem to be transported with utter delight was the King himself, who frowned at the picture and ordered the footmen to hang it in a little-used stateroom.

This caused the King’s ministers to worry and they wrote lots of memoranda that all said the same thing to the King, which he ignored. This made them even more anxious, so they cornered him in all sorts of places at all sorts of times to make long speeches at him.

Peregrine, this time trapped in the lavatory with only the crossword for entertainment, was listening to the Chancellor of the Exchequer’s rambling discourse on the subject of “hmmm…not offending the Phantasmoranians, what?...they might still pull out, m’boy!…they might not pay the dowry!” when a messenger came with a letter from Princess Amy herself. Peregrine opened the door, dodged the Chancellor and took the stairs two at a time. This was most impolite and therefore most unkingly, but Peregrine was too relieved for that.

Don’t get worried, Amy had written, I haven’t really grown like that. My nose is still turned up and I have as many freckles as ever.

And while the servants rushed around making wedding arrangements, the ministers had nervous breakdowns and the people celebrated, Peregrine wrote letters to the Ordinary Princess and the Queen and hummed an old folk song.

“Lavender’s blue,” he sang,

“Rosemary’s green,

When I am King,

You shall be Queen!”