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31_days2005-10-31 11:03 am
catnap-writer.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2005-10-31 11:03 am
[October 31st] [Original] A risk too great
Title: A risk too great
Day/Theme: October 31: Thus with a kisse I die
Series: Original (Diana and Belle #31)
Character/Pairing: Jonathan/Evan
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: In an alternate timeline, because I don’t want to let him go just yet.
Author's Second Note: The little happy dance I'm doing for completing October's themes has nothing to do with the content of this story.
Evan couldn’t sleep. He had banished himself to the spare room after tearing Jonathan’s heart out again. Belle and Diana had patched him up, but he hadn’t stopped shaking… Evan winced as he remembered the blood, and Jonathan’s pained resignation. He couldn’t keep doing this. He couldn’t keep gambling that Jonathan would be able to stop him, that his love made it worth the risk of sleeping with the lover that might murder him at any moment.
The part that scared him most was that the nightmares didn’t bother him. He didn’t experience them in terror, he became them. And most of him had no problem with living them out on his loyal partner. The coldly logical part of him thought it made perfect sense. If Jonathan was going to lie down with a monster, by his own choice and none other’s, then didn’t he deserve whatever happened to him? Wasn’t he asking to become a sacrifice?
And the small part of him that still cared screamed in the back of his mind: ‘It’s wrong, it’s wrong! You love him, you can’t hurt him. You care about him… You care!” But that voice was fading, growing fainter every night, every moment. In its place was a pair of rising whispers, creeping in like the tide: “You want to play with him,” and ever worse: “You don’t care about him at all. You can do whatever you want.”
Evan turned restlessly to one side, then the other. He felt like something was tearing inside. The demon in him was winning, appealing to the cold rationality of his angelic nature, and the heartless sensualism of his vampiric half. Why couldn’t he be human? Why did he want to laugh when he held his lover’s dying body in his arms? Why did he want to take his partner’s blood and use it to decorate the walls with dragons?
He had to do something. But what could he do other than rip out the part of him that filled his lover’s nights with terror? It was so risky, but he didn’t think the good part of him could live much longer with Jonathan’s sacrifices. He just didn’t deserve that kind of trust.
“I have to do it,” he whispered to himself, and at that moment, he made his decision. He threw off the covers, and slipped out of the room. He paused at the door to Belle and Diana’s room. The moonlight showed him the faint outlines of the two of them in bed, Jonathan tucked in between them, finally resting.
“Don’t worry, my love. I’m going to get rid of the monster,” he whispered, and slipped into the shadows. He hoped those would not be his last words to his love.
The lab was eerie and silent as he set up the spell. Each tiny sound echoed as he worked. He shivered in the chill air as he worked, and he tried to draw on the hard resolve of his other natures to help him work. But the arrogance and accuracy of the angelic was just beyond his reach, and his hands shook without that confidence.
At least it was set; a spell to draw out the demonic half he had absorbed on an impulse, and then destroy it. He prayed without conviction to whoever might be listening that it would work. It was so hard to distinguish the signature of his many parts.
He began the spell before he lost his nerve. The power swirled around him as he forced out the words and pulled out the piece of him he wanted to destroy. He felt dizzy, and almost faint, but he fought to keep his balance and continue.
It’s working, he thought, his wavering gaze fixed on the ghostly form of the demon in front him. But at that moment it went wrong. The demon grabbed at his essence and yanked. It hurt so much that Evan dropped to his knees. Desperate, he triggered the last part of the spell.
The demon screamed as it was ripped apart, and Evan cried as he felt it take his life with it. He lost his balance completely and fell on his side, sick and dizzy with pain, and feeling empty. His vitality was gone. He has almost passed out completely when the door was thrown open. Jonathan and the girls rushed in, looking frantic. Jonathan fell on his knees at Evan’s side.
“What happened?” he asked, terrified.
“I guess… I removed… the wrong part,” Evan whispered, coughing. Jonathan squinted his eyes to read Evan’s aura, and was shocked at what he saw.
“You can’t die, I won’t let you,” Jonathan stated, trying to stay calm. Cursing, he slipped his throwing knife from his boot, and cut open Evan’s shirt. Then he slit his own wrist. Muttering the charm as he worked, he drew a circle in his blood on Evan’s chest. Pretty, Evan thought incoherently, staring at the glowing symbol.
“I bind you, Evan. I bind you to me, you can’t die. I Bind you!” Jonathan chanted. Diana put a hand a hand on his shoulder to lend him strength as he channeled some of his own life force into his fading love. Belle was scanning the air, looking for something. Evan could barely see her. His vision was dimming. Don’t want to die… he thought, but it was a weak thought.
“Stay with me, stay with me,” Jonathan pleaded, hands glowing as he pulled energy from the air around him, from the earth below him, drawing it into Evan to hold him together. Evan could feel Jonathan’s touch on his skin, but it was like a touch on his hair, like a butterfly kiss on his cheek. And soon it was too late and he couldn’t feel anything at all. He saw rather than felt Jonathan’s last kiss, and then everything went red and still.
Day/Theme: October 31: Thus with a kisse I die
Series: Original (Diana and Belle #31)
Character/Pairing: Jonathan/Evan
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: In an alternate timeline, because I don’t want to let him go just yet.
Author's Second Note: The little happy dance I'm doing for completing October's themes has nothing to do with the content of this story.
Evan couldn’t sleep. He had banished himself to the spare room after tearing Jonathan’s heart out again. Belle and Diana had patched him up, but he hadn’t stopped shaking… Evan winced as he remembered the blood, and Jonathan’s pained resignation. He couldn’t keep doing this. He couldn’t keep gambling that Jonathan would be able to stop him, that his love made it worth the risk of sleeping with the lover that might murder him at any moment.
The part that scared him most was that the nightmares didn’t bother him. He didn’t experience them in terror, he became them. And most of him had no problem with living them out on his loyal partner. The coldly logical part of him thought it made perfect sense. If Jonathan was going to lie down with a monster, by his own choice and none other’s, then didn’t he deserve whatever happened to him? Wasn’t he asking to become a sacrifice?
And the small part of him that still cared screamed in the back of his mind: ‘It’s wrong, it’s wrong! You love him, you can’t hurt him. You care about him… You care!” But that voice was fading, growing fainter every night, every moment. In its place was a pair of rising whispers, creeping in like the tide: “You want to play with him,” and ever worse: “You don’t care about him at all. You can do whatever you want.”
Evan turned restlessly to one side, then the other. He felt like something was tearing inside. The demon in him was winning, appealing to the cold rationality of his angelic nature, and the heartless sensualism of his vampiric half. Why couldn’t he be human? Why did he want to laugh when he held his lover’s dying body in his arms? Why did he want to take his partner’s blood and use it to decorate the walls with dragons?
He had to do something. But what could he do other than rip out the part of him that filled his lover’s nights with terror? It was so risky, but he didn’t think the good part of him could live much longer with Jonathan’s sacrifices. He just didn’t deserve that kind of trust.
“I have to do it,” he whispered to himself, and at that moment, he made his decision. He threw off the covers, and slipped out of the room. He paused at the door to Belle and Diana’s room. The moonlight showed him the faint outlines of the two of them in bed, Jonathan tucked in between them, finally resting.
“Don’t worry, my love. I’m going to get rid of the monster,” he whispered, and slipped into the shadows. He hoped those would not be his last words to his love.
The lab was eerie and silent as he set up the spell. Each tiny sound echoed as he worked. He shivered in the chill air as he worked, and he tried to draw on the hard resolve of his other natures to help him work. But the arrogance and accuracy of the angelic was just beyond his reach, and his hands shook without that confidence.
At least it was set; a spell to draw out the demonic half he had absorbed on an impulse, and then destroy it. He prayed without conviction to whoever might be listening that it would work. It was so hard to distinguish the signature of his many parts.
He began the spell before he lost his nerve. The power swirled around him as he forced out the words and pulled out the piece of him he wanted to destroy. He felt dizzy, and almost faint, but he fought to keep his balance and continue.
It’s working, he thought, his wavering gaze fixed on the ghostly form of the demon in front him. But at that moment it went wrong. The demon grabbed at his essence and yanked. It hurt so much that Evan dropped to his knees. Desperate, he triggered the last part of the spell.
The demon screamed as it was ripped apart, and Evan cried as he felt it take his life with it. He lost his balance completely and fell on his side, sick and dizzy with pain, and feeling empty. His vitality was gone. He has almost passed out completely when the door was thrown open. Jonathan and the girls rushed in, looking frantic. Jonathan fell on his knees at Evan’s side.
“What happened?” he asked, terrified.
“I guess… I removed… the wrong part,” Evan whispered, coughing. Jonathan squinted his eyes to read Evan’s aura, and was shocked at what he saw.
“You can’t die, I won’t let you,” Jonathan stated, trying to stay calm. Cursing, he slipped his throwing knife from his boot, and cut open Evan’s shirt. Then he slit his own wrist. Muttering the charm as he worked, he drew a circle in his blood on Evan’s chest. Pretty, Evan thought incoherently, staring at the glowing symbol.
“I bind you, Evan. I bind you to me, you can’t die. I Bind you!” Jonathan chanted. Diana put a hand a hand on his shoulder to lend him strength as he channeled some of his own life force into his fading love. Belle was scanning the air, looking for something. Evan could barely see her. His vision was dimming. Don’t want to die… he thought, but it was a weak thought.
“Stay with me, stay with me,” Jonathan pleaded, hands glowing as he pulled energy from the air around him, from the earth below him, drawing it into Evan to hold him together. Evan could feel Jonathan’s touch on his skin, but it was like a touch on his hair, like a butterfly kiss on his cheek. And soon it was too late and he couldn’t feel anything at all. He saw rather than felt Jonathan’s last kiss, and then everything went red and still.