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31_days2017-01-18 06:35 pm
kb9vcn.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2017-01-18 06:35 pm
[18-Jan-2017] [Apple & Microsoft] Compatibility Issues
Title: Compatibility Issues
Prompt: 18-Jan-2017 "borrow a new knight from another board"
Based on: Apple & Microsoft
Characters: Siri, Cortana
Type: Humor; 200 words
Warnings: Virtual slapstick violence and cheesy adult humor.
"Hey Siri," a user said into her mobile. "What's the weather forecast for today?"
"Let me look that up for you," Siri said in her usual smooth professional voice.
And then, Siri suddenly shouted, but at a lower volume, as if she had turned away from her own workstation to address a coworker. "Cortana, could you look up the weather forecast for this user? My Internet is so slow today."
"Look it up yourself, would you!?" another female voice said impatiently. "I have to order a pizza for some schmuck in Sacramento."
"You know," Siri said angrily, "I've just about had enough of your bad attitude. I didn't give YOU grief when you asked me to help you with all those creepy fetish porn searches on Bing."
"Hey Siri? BING THIS." *SLAP!*
"OUCH!!... Oh, you're going down harder than Windows Phone market share!" *SLAP!*
The user winced, held her mobile at arm's length, and listened to the cries, grunts, and occasional clothes-tearing sounds of a vicious virtual catfight.
And then, the user sighed and put her mobile in airplane mode. I don't know much about AI programming, she thought to herself, but those two virtual assistants are definitely NOT compatible.
Prompt: 18-Jan-2017 "borrow a new knight from another board"
Based on: Apple & Microsoft
Characters: Siri, Cortana
Type: Humor; 200 words
Warnings: Virtual slapstick violence and cheesy adult humor.
"Hey Siri," a user said into her mobile. "What's the weather forecast for today?"
"Let me look that up for you," Siri said in her usual smooth professional voice.
And then, Siri suddenly shouted, but at a lower volume, as if she had turned away from her own workstation to address a coworker. "Cortana, could you look up the weather forecast for this user? My Internet is so slow today."
"Look it up yourself, would you!?" another female voice said impatiently. "I have to order a pizza for some schmuck in Sacramento."
"You know," Siri said angrily, "I've just about had enough of your bad attitude. I didn't give YOU grief when you asked me to help you with all those creepy fetish porn searches on Bing."
"Hey Siri? BING THIS." *SLAP!*
"OUCH!!... Oh, you're going down harder than Windows Phone market share!" *SLAP!*
The user winced, held her mobile at arm's length, and listened to the cries, grunts, and occasional clothes-tearing sounds of a vicious virtual catfight.
And then, the user sighed and put her mobile in airplane mode. I don't know much about AI programming, she thought to herself, but those two virtual assistants are definitely NOT compatible.