31_days | [28-Nov-2016] [Tenchi Muyo!] Free Shipping

Title: Free Shipping
Prompt: 28-Nov-2016 "your heart is the only place that I call home"
Based on: Tenchi Muyo!
Characters: Ayeka, Tenchi (mentioned by Ayeka repeatedly)
Type: Humor; 200 words
Warnings: Brief mild adult humor.

Ayeka answered a knock at the Masaki house front door. "I have a delivery for—" a delivery-person started to say.

"For Tenchi Masaki?" asked Ayeka. "I can sign for it, since I have 'temporarily' taken up residence at this address."

"..." the delivery-person tried to say.

Ayeka held her face in her hands and blushed. "But don't get the wrong idea! I am merely Lord Tenchi's house-guest."

"..." the delivery-person tried to say again.

Ayeka laughed her oujo-sama laugh. "O-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!! I know what you're thinking, you naughty, NAUGHTY person! But I assure you, our relationship is strictly platonic."

"..." the delivery-person tried to say a third time.

Ayeka chewed her thumbnail. "Not that it's for a lack of trying on MY part," she said sadly. "Why, the silly boy wouldn't get the hint if I delivered it to him on a silver platter in the nude."

"..." the delivery-person tried to say for the last time.

"Seriously! Tell me!" Ayeka begged. "What do I have to do to win his affection!?"

"Maybe you could SHUT UP for FIVE SECONDS!?" the delivery-person suggested.

Ayeka angrily slammed the door shut in the delivery-person's face.

NOT DELIVERABLE AT THIS ADDRESS, the delivery-person thought.