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31_days2016-10-21 11:40 pm
kb9vcn.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2016-10-21 11:40 pm
[21-Oct-2016] [Metall/u/rgy] October Dressed
Title: October Dressed
Prompt: 21-Oct-2016 "dressing up for a costume party"
Based on: Metall/u/rgy
Characters: (several)
Type: Humor/romance; about 3900 words
Warnings: Mild adult language and humor.
TEMPORARY NOTE: This is still a first draft. I just finished it with twenty minutes to spare. I'll try to fix any mistakes and polish it up a bit in the next day or two.
"Ready to go trick-or-treating, everybody?" asked Chromium, who was wearing normal street clothing.
"Yep!" said Stellite, who was dressed up as a cute "Mini-Me" version of a certain extremely popular DC Comics antihero.
Nickel walked up, dressed up as a somewhat more adult (but still relatively modest) version of said extremely popular DC Comics antihero. "What do you think, Chro?" she asked.
"I think you and Stelly will have to wear name tags," Chromium said dryly, "so that I can tell you two apart."
"You probably won't be able to tell us apart from half the city, this year," Nickel agreed. "But things can be popular and still be worth doing. And it's what Stelly wanted to wear. Anyway, I wish you had dressed up too."
"I did," Chromium said. "I'm dressed up as a graphic designer."
"Aw, you're no fun—" Nickel started to say as she opened the front door. But she cut herself off with a theatrical gasp. "OH NO!!" she cried, playing to Stellite. "IT'S YOU!!"
As the door swung open, Stellite was delighted to see Beryllium dressed up as another popular villainess and striking a dramatic pose.
"O-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!! Yes, it is I, Dark Phlebotinum!!" cried Beryllium, also playing to Stellite. "And WHAT have we HERE? Why, it appears to be another villainess! Perhaps you can help me with my Cunning Plan™!!"
Stellite's eyes were wide as saucers. She was too old to believe fully in Santa Claus, let alone her favorite anime characters, but she was still young enough to get caught up in the moment. "Your Cunning Plan™? Stellite asked timidly.
Beryllium went down on one knee and whispered conspiratorially in Stellite's ear. "Remember Episode Eight, sweetie?" she whispered.
Stellite held a hand to her mouth and gasped. "You WOULDN'T!!" she said, playing along without even realizing it.
"OH, but I WOULD!!" Beryllium rested one arm around Stellite's shoulders and gestured with her other arm, making a familiar pose. "ANVILS!!" Beryllium cackled. "ANVILS EVERYWHERE!! And with my new henchperson—"
Beryllium glanced at Nickel. "No, my TWO new henchpersons— NOTHING can STOP ME!! O-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!!"
Nickel whispered to Chromium, who was carefully video-recording the scene on her mobile. "Did you hear that?" Nickel said proudly. "I'm a henchperson too!"
"That's pretty much your real job, isn't it?" Chromium whispered back.
"Well, Iron has given Zinc a hard time, but she's never actually dropped any anvils on anyone—" Nickel cut herself off again. "Ooh, here comes the best part!!"
"Not so fast, you... ugh. You evil-doer."
Beryllium stood up and turned back to the open door. "OH NO!!" she cried in turn. "IT'S YOU!!... My GREATEST RIVAL!!"
Poor Aluminum stepped into the room, dressed up in a brightly-colored Magical Girl dress and pink wig that suited her surprisingly well. But it was obvious that she was more than a bit embarrassed, and she didn't have Beryllium's gift for theatrics.
"Yes, it is me... Phlebotinum," she said in her own speaking voice. "I won't allow you to Jump The Shark and turn this world into a grimdark sack of crap."
"Put a little more feeling into it, Allie," whispered Beryllium.
An evil smile (entirely inappropriate for the heroine of the piece) came to Aluminum's face. "FINE," she said. And then, she took a step forwards and whacked Beryllium over the head with her magic staff.
"OUCH!! Not THAT much feeling!!" Beryllium rubbed her poor head, and then fell back into character. "O-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!! You'll have to do better than THAT, you naive little girl!! Do you really think you can defeat me with your LOVE and FRIENDSHIP and stuff!?"
"Oh dear GOD. I think I'm going to be SICK." Aluminum held her face in her hands and whimpered, and then she took a deep breath. "No, Dark Phlebotinum, I clearly cannot defeat someone as SICK AND TWISTED as YOU with my... ugh. My LOVE and FRIENDSHIP."
Beryllium winked at both Stellite and Nickel. "She knows me well," Beryllium said smugly.
"But I have one attack that even my own nemesis cannot withstand," Aluminum said flatly.
"GASP!!" Beryllium gasped. "YOU DON'T MEAN!?—"
Aluminum pointed her magic staff at Beryllium's chest. "Deus Ex Machina... BITCH."
"Watch your language, Allie! This is an All Ages show!... AAAAAHHH!!" With a cry, Beryllium slumped to the floor, crossed her eyes, and let her tongue hang out.
"Let that be a lesson to you," Aluminum said unconvincingly. "For I am the heroine... and the hero always wins. And stuff."
And then, Aluminum lent a hand to Beryllium, and they both took a bow. Stellite clapped her hands and danced with delight, Nickel also applauded their performance with a childish grin, and Chromium gave them a thumbs-up while continuing to film them.
Aluminum glanced at the happy Stellite as she and Beryllium took their bow. "I guess she really liked it," she whispered.
"I told you she would," Beryllium whispered back.
—
Aluminum and Beryllium posed for several pictures with a beaming Stellite. Much to Chromium's amusement, Nickel shamelessly posed for a few pictures with the duo as well. And then, Beryllium followed Aluminum back to her car, and with a final wave to Stellite, they left for their next destination— a costume party at Gold and Silver's mansion.
Aluminum put on her aviators in a desperate attempt to regain some of her Cool, despite the fact that it was already early evening and the October sun had nearly set. "The next time you and Nickel have an idea like this," Aluminum grumbled, "she can damn well get IRON to dress up and act like an idiot instead."
"Aw, c'mon, Allie," said Beryllium. "It's not as if you had any other ideas for a costume this year. And it really suits you. I mean, you look EXACTLY like 'adult Phlebotinum' when she was temporarily aged forward in Episode Eleven."
"I'll have to take your word for it," Aluminum said in a pained voice. "When do you find the time to binge-watch cartoons, what with the overtime you work on aerospace contracts and the all-nighters you pull in your amateur-radio shack?"
"I'm a villainess, remember?" Beryllium said smugly. "If I told you, I'd have to kill you. Or rather, I'd have to leave you in an easily escapeable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death."
"I don't know anything about these characters," Aluminum said, "but you DO make for a good villainess. That little girl was captivated by your performance. And I noticed how easily you connected with her. For someone who's so bad with people in general, you're really good with children."
"Well, thanks, I think," Beryllium said. "I know I don't have the 'people skills' that you have. But I don't envy your fast-paced lifestyle."
"It's not as wonderful a lifestyle as it might seem." Aluminum took off her aviators at the next red light. "Money and power and fame, and non-stop casual sex, aren't everything, you know."
"Who are you, and what have you done with Aluminum?" asked an incredulous Beryllium. "Seriously, Allie. You haven't been yourself lately. Is something bothering you?"
"Well, yeah," Aluminum said. "I'm still young, but I'm not immortal anymore, Beryl. I'm pushing twenty-nine, and twenty-nine is pushing thirty, and thirty is pushing OLD AGE AND DEATH. And to be honest, well... I'm starting to worry about pushing it alone."
"Then DO something about it," Beryllium said. "It shouldn't be that difficult for you. You're AMAZING with women. As far as I know, you've treated all of your one-night stands well. Sooner or later, you'll find a girl with whom you have some REAL chemistry. When that happens, all you have to do is to KEEP treating her well."
The light turned green. "If only it were that easy," Aluminum said distantly. "I just... I feel like I'm MISSING something, you know?"
—
That's strange, Scandium thought, far away but at that exact moment. My ears are burning. Someone must be talking about me.
—
"And what about you?" Aluminum asked. "You're only one year younger than me, you know. And seriously, you're really good with children. It'd be a shame to let that go to waste."
Beryllium didn't answer right away. She turned away from Aluminum, and looked out the passenger-side window, and watched the world go by for awhile.
"...I'm the villainess, remember?" she finally said. "Or at least, I'm the eternal rival. You're the heroine of the piece, Allie. Not me. You're the one who gets the girl and lives happily ever after... Not me."
"Don't say that, Beryl," said Aluminum. "There's gotta be someone out there, even for someone as sick and twisted as you."
"...I don't know about that, Allie," said Beryllium in a hopeless voice that gave Aluminum a cold chill. "I just... I don't know."
"Well, how about this, then," Aluminum said. "Since we know each other so well, and since we're both pilots, we can be 'wingmen' for each other. I can look for a crazy weirdo freak for you, and you can look for someone who'll put up with my shortcomings... what few shortcomings I have."
Beryllium turned back to look at her best friend. "...thanks, Allie," she said sincerely. "I really appreciate that."
But then, Beryllium's theatrical nature got the best of her. "ARRGH!!" she cried while clutching at her chest. "What is this warm gooey sensation in my heart!? Could it be— FEELINGS!? For a villainess such as I, it's JUST— TOO— MUCH!!" She suddenly slumped over in her seat, crossed her eyes, and let her tongue hang out again.
"...right," an amused Aluminum said. "Like I said, a crazy weirdo freak."
—
Aluminum pulled into the nearest remaining open street parking to Gold and Silver's mansion. "Here we are, Beryl," she said as they walked up to the front door. "Hey, do me a favor? Stick with me for awhile, so that people will see that we're dressed up as a pair for a theme, aaaaaand never mind you've already wandered off."
Gold and Silver were greeting their guests at the door. Silver was wearing a tailored tuxedo reminiscent of a secret agent, while Gold was wearing only a gold-lame bikini and body paint in her namesake color.
Aluminum made fingerguns at Silver. "Lookin' sharp, Double-O-Something!"
Silver held up an orange-tipped water gun and comically spritzed a tiny spray of water. "I'm 'Licensed To Bill'," she said proudly.
"And as for you..." Aluminum turned to Gold, but trailed off. "Y'know what? Let's skip the DRAMA, just for today. I gotta admit that, while you might be ten years older than me, you're also looking TEN times HOTTER than me right now."
"Why thank you dah-ling," said a surprised Gold. "Your costume also suits you, though I did not know you were a Phlebotinum fan."
Aluminum raised an eyebrow. "Do you know this character?"
"No," Gold said, "but Chromium has already uploaded to the Internet the video of you and dah-ling Beryllium performing your skit."
Aluminum hung her head and sighed. "And there goes any hope of my ever being even slightly cool, ever again, EVER."
"Hardly," Silver said. "Chromium also explained how you and Beryllium took the time to entertain a six-year-old child."
"In our opinion, this is one of the coolest things that you have ever done." Gold suddenly gave Aluminum a friendly peck on the cheek. "Enjoy the party, dah-ling."
Aluminum held a hand to her cheek as she walked into the party. "Yikes," she said to herself. "This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder."
—
Adamantine had merely dressed up in one of her old police dress uniforms. She was standing in a quiet corner, towering over most of the other guests and watching them with her usual stern look of disapproval.
She was also patiently allowing an elfin Mithril to drape herself all over her partner. "Why don't you try to relax, Ada?" Mithril purred. "You're not on duty, you know."
"I suppose I should be grateful that all these people saw fit to wear SOMETHING," Adamantine grumbled. "I SWEAR, Mithril, if I have to deal with ONE MORE exhibitionist..."
"Oh really?" Mithril said with mock disappointment. "Actually, I was thinking that I might get naked for you later tonight, and..." she stood on tip-toe and whispered in Adamantine's ear for at least thirty seconds. "...while naked," she finished out loud.
Without otherwise moving, Adamantine rolled her eyes and stared at a smiling Mithril, thought about what Mithril had proposed, and very slowly and very slightly blushed.
"...I suppose I can deal with one more exhibitionist," Adamantine finally said with mock reluctance.
—
Krypton had also dressed up as a DC Comics character. It was an odd choice for her, given the character's vulnerability to kryptonite.
Neon walked up to her, wearing a futuristic outfit with detached sleeves similar to her usual clothing, but in a teal color, and with the addition of a very long teal wig in twintails.
"Great party, huh," Neon said. "It's nice not to be performing at a party for once."
Krypton was surprisingly surprised to see her. "Wait a minute! I thought THAT was you over THERE," she said, pointing to an eyeball in a top hat and tails.
"Maybe it was," Neon said enigmatically, "and maybe it wasn't."
"Then WHO was PHONE?" Krypton asked.
—
Praseodymium was chatting with Ruthenium and Rhodium. Praseo had dressed up in a swallow-tailed suit, wire-rimmed eyeglasses without lenses, and a heavy greasepaint moustache. Meanwhile, Ruthenium (or Rhodium?) was wearing a sexy nurse's uniform, and Rhodium (or Ruthenium?) was wearing a sexy French maid outfit.
"I can't say I'm surprised to see you two dressed up in those traditional and vaguely-offensive Halloweeen costumes," Praseo noted.
"What costumes?" said the nurse.
"We had no time— said the maid.
"—to make costumes—"
"—and so we wore—"
"—these outfits that—"
"—we already owned.—"
"Why did you have— NEVER MIND!!" Praseo cut herself off in the nick of time. "Oh, and here's MY sister. Who are you supposed to be, Neo?"
Neodymium was wearing a brown, pink, and vanilla outfit with matching wig and lace parasol. She silently held up a handwritten sign reading "Neo."
"I KNOW who you ARE," Praseo said, "although I often wish that I DIDN'T. But who are you DRESSED UP as?"
Neo angrily pointed at her sign.
"If you don't want to say who you are," Praseo said, "then why don't you just say so?"
"I'm NEO, ya DOPE!!" an exasperated Neo yelled. "Ya know, from dat initially entertainin' but mostly ovah-rated Roostah Teeth annie-mayshun?"
"If THAT'S who you're supposed to be," Praseo said smugly, "then why did you start talking? Neo doesn't talk."
"ARRGH!!" said Neo-Neo.
—
Mercury and Chlorine were standing back and taking a break from socializing with the other guests. Mercury was wearing a long coat with deep pockets, a pre-Reddit fedora, and a very long multi-colored scarf, while her "companion" Chlorine was wearing a similarly styled pink coat and white scarf.
Mercury held out a small wax-paper bag. "Jellybaby?" she asked.
"Thanks." Chlorine picked out her favorite flavor and popped it into her mouth. "Mmm... carcinogenic sweeteners."
"With any luck, the food colorings are highly toxic too," Mercury said matter-of-factly as she also ate a piece of candy. "So, are you still wearing your swimsuit under that outfit, like you usually do?"
"I'll let you in on a little secret," a michievous Chlorine said. "I'm completely naked under this costume."
"Actually," Mercury said, "if I took off all of the clothes I'm wearing right now, I'd be completely naked too."
"No fooling?" an impressed Chorine said. "That's a coincidence."
"In fact," Mercury added, "I wouldn't be surprised if most of the people here— maybe even ALL of them— are also completely naked under all of their clothes."
"It gives a girl something to think about, doesn't it," Chlorine thought out loud.
"It's enough to 'reverse the polarity of MY neutron flow'," Mercury said, "IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN."
Chlorine blinked, scratched her head, and frowned in thought. "...no," she said slowly, "I don't know what you mean by that at ALL."
"It's a deeply disturbing metaphor for kinky sex employing Weird Science," Mercury explained.
"Oh," Chlorine said cheerfully. "It's just our usual Friday night routine, then."
—
Lead was wearing a cowboy hat, vest, holster, jeans and boots. She was sitting at a table with her hands folded behind her head and her boots resting on said table.
Tin walked up, dressed up as a dance-hall barmaid, carrying two beers. "Your sasparilla," she said.
"Much obliged, Ma'am." Lead tugged at her hat, popped the top, and took a sip.
Tin sat next to her and continued to play her part. "I hear you're wanted 'round these parts, stranger."
"I'm the 142nd fastest gun in the West," Lead said proudly.
"Let's see you DRAW," Tin said with a coquettish smile.
Lead grabbed a napkin, scribbled on it with a ballpoint pen, and then held it up.
Tin blinked in confusion. "Wait... what are you doing?"
"I'm drawing," Lead said. "I drew a picture mf a cow."
Tin looked at the napkin, tilted her head, and frowned. "Um... that's a cow?"
"I'm a fast draw, Ma'am," Lead said, "but I never said I was a GOOD draw."
—
Pewter, Terne, Steel, and Electrum had all gone in together as a group— as a shrine maiden, a goofy witch, a sorceress, and a puppetmaster, respectively.
Technetium had joined her friends, wearing a detective's trenchcoat and head-mounted helicopter.
"Um, Techy?" sait Terne. "That's not an actual working helicopter, is it?"
"No," Technetium said with a smile, "but they're probably working on one."
"It's a shame Iridosmine wasn't invited," Pewter said slyly. "ISN'T it, Ellie?"
"Its not like *I* care whether she was invited!" Electrum said predictably.
"Oh, really?" Terne said. "That's not what I've heard around school."
Even the usually reserved Steel piled on. "You should be more honest with yourself, Electrum."
"For goodness' sake!" an exasperated Electrum cried. "I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition!"
Iridosmine appeared on cue. "NOOOOOOOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!" she shrieked.
After a moment of stunned silence, a terrified Electrum ran away screaming.
"Hey, wait a minute," Pewter said. "You weren't actually invited... were you?"
"...maybe?" a guilty Iridosmine said nervously.
—
Cobalt favored wide-brimmed hats and gloves, and so she had also dressed up as an old-fashioned witch. Platinum was wearing black tights, greasepaint whiskers and a pair of cat ears, and she had gone along as Cobalt's familiar.
Cobalt sat down near the food table, and then Platinum sat in Cobalt's lap. "Headpats, please," Platinum purred.
Cobalt obliged her. "This costume suits you, Plat," she said. "You've always had a bit of a feline way about you."
"Well, I've always liked cats myself," Platinum said. "And I do like a spot of catnip tea now and then."
"That sounds nice," Cobalt said. "We should have a cuppa when we get back after the party."
"Are you trying to get your cat-girl drunk on catnip tea to take advantage of her?" Platinum asked suspiciously.
"Of course not." Cobalt continued with the headpats. "I would never take advantage of a cute little cat-girl like you."
Platinum was nearly shivering with delight. "Keep up the headpats," she said in a throaty voice, "and you won't NEED any catnip tea."
—
Antimony had dressed up as the most famous classic Halloween character of them all. "I'm glad I went with this costume," she said around a realistic set of fangs. "It looks like I'm the only vampire here. It's just not Halloween without a vampire."
Bismuth was wearing a generic cheerleader's uniform that went well with her brightly colored hair. "Are your fangs alright, dah-ling?" she asked. "They look rather uncomfortable."
Antimony swept her girlfriend off her feet and wrapped her cloak around her. "All the better to BITE you with, my dear!" she growled.
Bismuth giggled and bared her neck. "One artery, no waiting."
Antimony paused and eyed her suspiciously. "Are you SURE you're not one of those vampire-slaying cheerleaders?
"Oh no, dah-ling," said Bismuth. "I am merely a poor weak innocent little girl."
"You had me until you said 'innocent'," Antimony said wryly.
"Less talking, more bloodsucking," Bismuth said impatiently.
"At least it's still a better love story than Twilight," Antimony said as she went in for the hickey.
—
Uranium and Molybdenum had also attended the party together, and they were also wearing unrelated costumes. Uranium was in the middle of a difficult project, and she had merely worn one of her white lab coats from work with a "fright wig" and a pair of goggles.
In contrast, Molybdenum had gone completely against her usual gothic style. She was wearing an angel's silvery white robe, feathered wings and sandals, and she had also donned a light wig and pale makeup.
"That costume is amazing, Moly," said a genuinely impressed Uranium. "In this low light, if I didn't know you better, I wouldn't even recognize you."
"I chose this costume on purpose," Molybdenum explained. "I knew we would be at a party with Copper, and I know that the poor girl is frightened of me, althought I don't really know why. I wanted to wear something as non-frightening as possible."
"Oh! There she is now." Uranium pointed out a fairytale princess— or rather, a farm-girl who was dressed up as a princess.
Molybdenum turned to Copper and gave the girl her best smile. "Hello, Copper! How have you been, dear?"
"Uh- uh- excuse me!!" a terrified Copper said as she immediately backed away. "I think someone is having fun storming the castle!!"
A disappointed Molybdenum hung her head and drooped her wings.
"Great Scott," Uranium said.
Copper pushed through the crowd and returned to Zinc, who was dressed up as a pirate who vaguely resembled a ninja.
"Is everything alright?" Zinc asked.
"I just need a break from the crowd," Copper said truthfully. "Could we go outside and get a breath of fresh air?"
"As you wish," Zinc said gallantly.
—
An unusually subdued Beryllium was making a final pass at the food table. Her earlier talk with Aluminum about finding romance had left her in a melancholy mood, despite Aluminum's naive optimism, or perhaps, even because of it.
Watching all of these couples is just making me feel lonely, she thought. I think I'll call it a night and head for home—
She accidentally bumped into another woman. "Oh! I'm sorry..." she started to say as she turned to the other woman... but then, she froze in surprise.
Looking back at her in equal surprise was Magnesium... who was identically dressed up as Dark Phlebotinum.
Beryllium and Magnesium stared at each other. They both slowly smiled deeply evil smiles.
And then, they struck identical haughty poses in perfect unison and did an Ojousama Laff in stereo. "O-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!!"
—
Aluminum had completed a circle around the crowded room. She was pleased to find Beryllium and Magnesium excitedly discussing the latest episode of the Phlebotinum anime and the latest misadventures of their favorite villainess.
Oh good, Aluminum thought. I'm glad Beryl found someone to talk to. It looks like she and Magnesium have something to talk about. Come to think of it, they've always gotten along well, haven't they? And I'm pretty sure Magnesium is single too...
Oh well, Aluminum thought. Be that as it may, I've still gotta find a girlfriend for Beryl...
Prompt: 21-Oct-2016 "dressing up for a costume party"
Based on: Metall/u/rgy
Characters: (several)
Type: Humor/romance; about 3900 words
Warnings: Mild adult language and humor.
TEMPORARY NOTE: This is still a first draft. I just finished it with twenty minutes to spare. I'll try to fix any mistakes and polish it up a bit in the next day or two.
"Ready to go trick-or-treating, everybody?" asked Chromium, who was wearing normal street clothing.
"Yep!" said Stellite, who was dressed up as a cute "Mini-Me" version of a certain extremely popular DC Comics antihero.
Nickel walked up, dressed up as a somewhat more adult (but still relatively modest) version of said extremely popular DC Comics antihero. "What do you think, Chro?" she asked.
"I think you and Stelly will have to wear name tags," Chromium said dryly, "so that I can tell you two apart."
"You probably won't be able to tell us apart from half the city, this year," Nickel agreed. "But things can be popular and still be worth doing. And it's what Stelly wanted to wear. Anyway, I wish you had dressed up too."
"I did," Chromium said. "I'm dressed up as a graphic designer."
"Aw, you're no fun—" Nickel started to say as she opened the front door. But she cut herself off with a theatrical gasp. "OH NO!!" she cried, playing to Stellite. "IT'S YOU!!"
As the door swung open, Stellite was delighted to see Beryllium dressed up as another popular villainess and striking a dramatic pose.
"O-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!! Yes, it is I, Dark Phlebotinum!!" cried Beryllium, also playing to Stellite. "And WHAT have we HERE? Why, it appears to be another villainess! Perhaps you can help me with my Cunning Plan™!!"
Stellite's eyes were wide as saucers. She was too old to believe fully in Santa Claus, let alone her favorite anime characters, but she was still young enough to get caught up in the moment. "Your Cunning Plan™? Stellite asked timidly.
Beryllium went down on one knee and whispered conspiratorially in Stellite's ear. "Remember Episode Eight, sweetie?" she whispered.
Stellite held a hand to her mouth and gasped. "You WOULDN'T!!" she said, playing along without even realizing it.
"OH, but I WOULD!!" Beryllium rested one arm around Stellite's shoulders and gestured with her other arm, making a familiar pose. "ANVILS!!" Beryllium cackled. "ANVILS EVERYWHERE!! And with my new henchperson—"
Beryllium glanced at Nickel. "No, my TWO new henchpersons— NOTHING can STOP ME!! O-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!!"
Nickel whispered to Chromium, who was carefully video-recording the scene on her mobile. "Did you hear that?" Nickel said proudly. "I'm a henchperson too!"
"That's pretty much your real job, isn't it?" Chromium whispered back.
"Well, Iron has given Zinc a hard time, but she's never actually dropped any anvils on anyone—" Nickel cut herself off again. "Ooh, here comes the best part!!"
"Not so fast, you... ugh. You evil-doer."
Beryllium stood up and turned back to the open door. "OH NO!!" she cried in turn. "IT'S YOU!!... My GREATEST RIVAL!!"
Poor Aluminum stepped into the room, dressed up in a brightly-colored Magical Girl dress and pink wig that suited her surprisingly well. But it was obvious that she was more than a bit embarrassed, and she didn't have Beryllium's gift for theatrics.
"Yes, it is me... Phlebotinum," she said in her own speaking voice. "I won't allow you to Jump The Shark and turn this world into a grimdark sack of crap."
"Put a little more feeling into it, Allie," whispered Beryllium.
An evil smile (entirely inappropriate for the heroine of the piece) came to Aluminum's face. "FINE," she said. And then, she took a step forwards and whacked Beryllium over the head with her magic staff.
"OUCH!! Not THAT much feeling!!" Beryllium rubbed her poor head, and then fell back into character. "O-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!! You'll have to do better than THAT, you naive little girl!! Do you really think you can defeat me with your LOVE and FRIENDSHIP and stuff!?"
"Oh dear GOD. I think I'm going to be SICK." Aluminum held her face in her hands and whimpered, and then she took a deep breath. "No, Dark Phlebotinum, I clearly cannot defeat someone as SICK AND TWISTED as YOU with my... ugh. My LOVE and FRIENDSHIP."
Beryllium winked at both Stellite and Nickel. "She knows me well," Beryllium said smugly.
"But I have one attack that even my own nemesis cannot withstand," Aluminum said flatly.
"GASP!!" Beryllium gasped. "YOU DON'T MEAN!?—"
Aluminum pointed her magic staff at Beryllium's chest. "Deus Ex Machina... BITCH."
"Watch your language, Allie! This is an All Ages show!... AAAAAHHH!!" With a cry, Beryllium slumped to the floor, crossed her eyes, and let her tongue hang out.
"Let that be a lesson to you," Aluminum said unconvincingly. "For I am the heroine... and the hero always wins. And stuff."
And then, Aluminum lent a hand to Beryllium, and they both took a bow. Stellite clapped her hands and danced with delight, Nickel also applauded their performance with a childish grin, and Chromium gave them a thumbs-up while continuing to film them.
Aluminum glanced at the happy Stellite as she and Beryllium took their bow. "I guess she really liked it," she whispered.
"I told you she would," Beryllium whispered back.
—
Aluminum and Beryllium posed for several pictures with a beaming Stellite. Much to Chromium's amusement, Nickel shamelessly posed for a few pictures with the duo as well. And then, Beryllium followed Aluminum back to her car, and with a final wave to Stellite, they left for their next destination— a costume party at Gold and Silver's mansion.
Aluminum put on her aviators in a desperate attempt to regain some of her Cool, despite the fact that it was already early evening and the October sun had nearly set. "The next time you and Nickel have an idea like this," Aluminum grumbled, "she can damn well get IRON to dress up and act like an idiot instead."
"Aw, c'mon, Allie," said Beryllium. "It's not as if you had any other ideas for a costume this year. And it really suits you. I mean, you look EXACTLY like 'adult Phlebotinum' when she was temporarily aged forward in Episode Eleven."
"I'll have to take your word for it," Aluminum said in a pained voice. "When do you find the time to binge-watch cartoons, what with the overtime you work on aerospace contracts and the all-nighters you pull in your amateur-radio shack?"
"I'm a villainess, remember?" Beryllium said smugly. "If I told you, I'd have to kill you. Or rather, I'd have to leave you in an easily escapeable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death."
"I don't know anything about these characters," Aluminum said, "but you DO make for a good villainess. That little girl was captivated by your performance. And I noticed how easily you connected with her. For someone who's so bad with people in general, you're really good with children."
"Well, thanks, I think," Beryllium said. "I know I don't have the 'people skills' that you have. But I don't envy your fast-paced lifestyle."
"It's not as wonderful a lifestyle as it might seem." Aluminum took off her aviators at the next red light. "Money and power and fame, and non-stop casual sex, aren't everything, you know."
"Who are you, and what have you done with Aluminum?" asked an incredulous Beryllium. "Seriously, Allie. You haven't been yourself lately. Is something bothering you?"
"Well, yeah," Aluminum said. "I'm still young, but I'm not immortal anymore, Beryl. I'm pushing twenty-nine, and twenty-nine is pushing thirty, and thirty is pushing OLD AGE AND DEATH. And to be honest, well... I'm starting to worry about pushing it alone."
"Then DO something about it," Beryllium said. "It shouldn't be that difficult for you. You're AMAZING with women. As far as I know, you've treated all of your one-night stands well. Sooner or later, you'll find a girl with whom you have some REAL chemistry. When that happens, all you have to do is to KEEP treating her well."
The light turned green. "If only it were that easy," Aluminum said distantly. "I just... I feel like I'm MISSING something, you know?"
—
That's strange, Scandium thought, far away but at that exact moment. My ears are burning. Someone must be talking about me.
—
"And what about you?" Aluminum asked. "You're only one year younger than me, you know. And seriously, you're really good with children. It'd be a shame to let that go to waste."
Beryllium didn't answer right away. She turned away from Aluminum, and looked out the passenger-side window, and watched the world go by for awhile.
"...I'm the villainess, remember?" she finally said. "Or at least, I'm the eternal rival. You're the heroine of the piece, Allie. Not me. You're the one who gets the girl and lives happily ever after... Not me."
"Don't say that, Beryl," said Aluminum. "There's gotta be someone out there, even for someone as sick and twisted as you."
"...I don't know about that, Allie," said Beryllium in a hopeless voice that gave Aluminum a cold chill. "I just... I don't know."
"Well, how about this, then," Aluminum said. "Since we know each other so well, and since we're both pilots, we can be 'wingmen' for each other. I can look for a crazy weirdo freak for you, and you can look for someone who'll put up with my shortcomings... what few shortcomings I have."
Beryllium turned back to look at her best friend. "...thanks, Allie," she said sincerely. "I really appreciate that."
But then, Beryllium's theatrical nature got the best of her. "ARRGH!!" she cried while clutching at her chest. "What is this warm gooey sensation in my heart!? Could it be— FEELINGS!? For a villainess such as I, it's JUST— TOO— MUCH!!" She suddenly slumped over in her seat, crossed her eyes, and let her tongue hang out again.
"...right," an amused Aluminum said. "Like I said, a crazy weirdo freak."
—
Aluminum pulled into the nearest remaining open street parking to Gold and Silver's mansion. "Here we are, Beryl," she said as they walked up to the front door. "Hey, do me a favor? Stick with me for awhile, so that people will see that we're dressed up as a pair for a theme, aaaaaand never mind you've already wandered off."
Gold and Silver were greeting their guests at the door. Silver was wearing a tailored tuxedo reminiscent of a secret agent, while Gold was wearing only a gold-lame bikini and body paint in her namesake color.
Aluminum made fingerguns at Silver. "Lookin' sharp, Double-O-Something!"
Silver held up an orange-tipped water gun and comically spritzed a tiny spray of water. "I'm 'Licensed To Bill'," she said proudly.
"And as for you..." Aluminum turned to Gold, but trailed off. "Y'know what? Let's skip the DRAMA, just for today. I gotta admit that, while you might be ten years older than me, you're also looking TEN times HOTTER than me right now."
"Why thank you dah-ling," said a surprised Gold. "Your costume also suits you, though I did not know you were a Phlebotinum fan."
Aluminum raised an eyebrow. "Do you know this character?"
"No," Gold said, "but Chromium has already uploaded to the Internet the video of you and dah-ling Beryllium performing your skit."
Aluminum hung her head and sighed. "And there goes any hope of my ever being even slightly cool, ever again, EVER."
"Hardly," Silver said. "Chromium also explained how you and Beryllium took the time to entertain a six-year-old child."
"In our opinion, this is one of the coolest things that you have ever done." Gold suddenly gave Aluminum a friendly peck on the cheek. "Enjoy the party, dah-ling."
Aluminum held a hand to her cheek as she walked into the party. "Yikes," she said to herself. "This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder."
—
Adamantine had merely dressed up in one of her old police dress uniforms. She was standing in a quiet corner, towering over most of the other guests and watching them with her usual stern look of disapproval.
She was also patiently allowing an elfin Mithril to drape herself all over her partner. "Why don't you try to relax, Ada?" Mithril purred. "You're not on duty, you know."
"I suppose I should be grateful that all these people saw fit to wear SOMETHING," Adamantine grumbled. "I SWEAR, Mithril, if I have to deal with ONE MORE exhibitionist..."
"Oh really?" Mithril said with mock disappointment. "Actually, I was thinking that I might get naked for you later tonight, and..." she stood on tip-toe and whispered in Adamantine's ear for at least thirty seconds. "...while naked," she finished out loud.
Without otherwise moving, Adamantine rolled her eyes and stared at a smiling Mithril, thought about what Mithril had proposed, and very slowly and very slightly blushed.
"...I suppose I can deal with one more exhibitionist," Adamantine finally said with mock reluctance.
—
Krypton had also dressed up as a DC Comics character. It was an odd choice for her, given the character's vulnerability to kryptonite.
Neon walked up to her, wearing a futuristic outfit with detached sleeves similar to her usual clothing, but in a teal color, and with the addition of a very long teal wig in twintails.
"Great party, huh," Neon said. "It's nice not to be performing at a party for once."
Krypton was surprisingly surprised to see her. "Wait a minute! I thought THAT was you over THERE," she said, pointing to an eyeball in a top hat and tails.
"Maybe it was," Neon said enigmatically, "and maybe it wasn't."
"Then WHO was PHONE?" Krypton asked.
—
Praseodymium was chatting with Ruthenium and Rhodium. Praseo had dressed up in a swallow-tailed suit, wire-rimmed eyeglasses without lenses, and a heavy greasepaint moustache. Meanwhile, Ruthenium (or Rhodium?) was wearing a sexy nurse's uniform, and Rhodium (or Ruthenium?) was wearing a sexy French maid outfit.
"I can't say I'm surprised to see you two dressed up in those traditional and vaguely-offensive Halloweeen costumes," Praseo noted.
"What costumes?" said the nurse.
"We had no time— said the maid.
"—to make costumes—"
"—and so we wore—"
"—these outfits that—"
"—we already owned.—"
"Why did you have— NEVER MIND!!" Praseo cut herself off in the nick of time. "Oh, and here's MY sister. Who are you supposed to be, Neo?"
Neodymium was wearing a brown, pink, and vanilla outfit with matching wig and lace parasol. She silently held up a handwritten sign reading "Neo."
"I KNOW who you ARE," Praseo said, "although I often wish that I DIDN'T. But who are you DRESSED UP as?"
Neo angrily pointed at her sign.
"If you don't want to say who you are," Praseo said, "then why don't you just say so?"
"I'm NEO, ya DOPE!!" an exasperated Neo yelled. "Ya know, from dat initially entertainin' but mostly ovah-rated Roostah Teeth annie-mayshun?"
"If THAT'S who you're supposed to be," Praseo said smugly, "then why did you start talking? Neo doesn't talk."
"ARRGH!!" said Neo-Neo.
—
Mercury and Chlorine were standing back and taking a break from socializing with the other guests. Mercury was wearing a long coat with deep pockets, a pre-Reddit fedora, and a very long multi-colored scarf, while her "companion" Chlorine was wearing a similarly styled pink coat and white scarf.
Mercury held out a small wax-paper bag. "Jellybaby?" she asked.
"Thanks." Chlorine picked out her favorite flavor and popped it into her mouth. "Mmm... carcinogenic sweeteners."
"With any luck, the food colorings are highly toxic too," Mercury said matter-of-factly as she also ate a piece of candy. "So, are you still wearing your swimsuit under that outfit, like you usually do?"
"I'll let you in on a little secret," a michievous Chlorine said. "I'm completely naked under this costume."
"Actually," Mercury said, "if I took off all of the clothes I'm wearing right now, I'd be completely naked too."
"No fooling?" an impressed Chorine said. "That's a coincidence."
"In fact," Mercury added, "I wouldn't be surprised if most of the people here— maybe even ALL of them— are also completely naked under all of their clothes."
"It gives a girl something to think about, doesn't it," Chlorine thought out loud.
"It's enough to 'reverse the polarity of MY neutron flow'," Mercury said, "IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN."
Chlorine blinked, scratched her head, and frowned in thought. "...no," she said slowly, "I don't know what you mean by that at ALL."
"It's a deeply disturbing metaphor for kinky sex employing Weird Science," Mercury explained.
"Oh," Chlorine said cheerfully. "It's just our usual Friday night routine, then."
—
Lead was wearing a cowboy hat, vest, holster, jeans and boots. She was sitting at a table with her hands folded behind her head and her boots resting on said table.
Tin walked up, dressed up as a dance-hall barmaid, carrying two beers. "Your sasparilla," she said.
"Much obliged, Ma'am." Lead tugged at her hat, popped the top, and took a sip.
Tin sat next to her and continued to play her part. "I hear you're wanted 'round these parts, stranger."
"I'm the 142nd fastest gun in the West," Lead said proudly.
"Let's see you DRAW," Tin said with a coquettish smile.
Lead grabbed a napkin, scribbled on it with a ballpoint pen, and then held it up.
Tin blinked in confusion. "Wait... what are you doing?"
"I'm drawing," Lead said. "I drew a picture mf a cow."
Tin looked at the napkin, tilted her head, and frowned. "Um... that's a cow?"
"I'm a fast draw, Ma'am," Lead said, "but I never said I was a GOOD draw."
—
Pewter, Terne, Steel, and Electrum had all gone in together as a group— as a shrine maiden, a goofy witch, a sorceress, and a puppetmaster, respectively.
Technetium had joined her friends, wearing a detective's trenchcoat and head-mounted helicopter.
"Um, Techy?" sait Terne. "That's not an actual working helicopter, is it?"
"No," Technetium said with a smile, "but they're probably working on one."
"It's a shame Iridosmine wasn't invited," Pewter said slyly. "ISN'T it, Ellie?"
"Its not like *I* care whether she was invited!" Electrum said predictably.
"Oh, really?" Terne said. "That's not what I've heard around school."
Even the usually reserved Steel piled on. "You should be more honest with yourself, Electrum."
"For goodness' sake!" an exasperated Electrum cried. "I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition!"
Iridosmine appeared on cue. "NOOOOOOOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!" she shrieked.
After a moment of stunned silence, a terrified Electrum ran away screaming.
"Hey, wait a minute," Pewter said. "You weren't actually invited... were you?"
"...maybe?" a guilty Iridosmine said nervously.
—
Cobalt favored wide-brimmed hats and gloves, and so she had also dressed up as an old-fashioned witch. Platinum was wearing black tights, greasepaint whiskers and a pair of cat ears, and she had gone along as Cobalt's familiar.
Cobalt sat down near the food table, and then Platinum sat in Cobalt's lap. "Headpats, please," Platinum purred.
Cobalt obliged her. "This costume suits you, Plat," she said. "You've always had a bit of a feline way about you."
"Well, I've always liked cats myself," Platinum said. "And I do like a spot of catnip tea now and then."
"That sounds nice," Cobalt said. "We should have a cuppa when we get back after the party."
"Are you trying to get your cat-girl drunk on catnip tea to take advantage of her?" Platinum asked suspiciously.
"Of course not." Cobalt continued with the headpats. "I would never take advantage of a cute little cat-girl like you."
Platinum was nearly shivering with delight. "Keep up the headpats," she said in a throaty voice, "and you won't NEED any catnip tea."
—
Antimony had dressed up as the most famous classic Halloween character of them all. "I'm glad I went with this costume," she said around a realistic set of fangs. "It looks like I'm the only vampire here. It's just not Halloween without a vampire."
Bismuth was wearing a generic cheerleader's uniform that went well with her brightly colored hair. "Are your fangs alright, dah-ling?" she asked. "They look rather uncomfortable."
Antimony swept her girlfriend off her feet and wrapped her cloak around her. "All the better to BITE you with, my dear!" she growled.
Bismuth giggled and bared her neck. "One artery, no waiting."
Antimony paused and eyed her suspiciously. "Are you SURE you're not one of those vampire-slaying cheerleaders?
"Oh no, dah-ling," said Bismuth. "I am merely a poor weak innocent little girl."
"You had me until you said 'innocent'," Antimony said wryly.
"Less talking, more bloodsucking," Bismuth said impatiently.
"At least it's still a better love story than Twilight," Antimony said as she went in for the hickey.
—
Uranium and Molybdenum had also attended the party together, and they were also wearing unrelated costumes. Uranium was in the middle of a difficult project, and she had merely worn one of her white lab coats from work with a "fright wig" and a pair of goggles.
In contrast, Molybdenum had gone completely against her usual gothic style. She was wearing an angel's silvery white robe, feathered wings and sandals, and she had also donned a light wig and pale makeup.
"That costume is amazing, Moly," said a genuinely impressed Uranium. "In this low light, if I didn't know you better, I wouldn't even recognize you."
"I chose this costume on purpose," Molybdenum explained. "I knew we would be at a party with Copper, and I know that the poor girl is frightened of me, althought I don't really know why. I wanted to wear something as non-frightening as possible."
"Oh! There she is now." Uranium pointed out a fairytale princess— or rather, a farm-girl who was dressed up as a princess.
Molybdenum turned to Copper and gave the girl her best smile. "Hello, Copper! How have you been, dear?"
"Uh- uh- excuse me!!" a terrified Copper said as she immediately backed away. "I think someone is having fun storming the castle!!"
A disappointed Molybdenum hung her head and drooped her wings.
"Great Scott," Uranium said.
Copper pushed through the crowd and returned to Zinc, who was dressed up as a pirate who vaguely resembled a ninja.
"Is everything alright?" Zinc asked.
"I just need a break from the crowd," Copper said truthfully. "Could we go outside and get a breath of fresh air?"
"As you wish," Zinc said gallantly.
—
An unusually subdued Beryllium was making a final pass at the food table. Her earlier talk with Aluminum about finding romance had left her in a melancholy mood, despite Aluminum's naive optimism, or perhaps, even because of it.
Watching all of these couples is just making me feel lonely, she thought. I think I'll call it a night and head for home—
She accidentally bumped into another woman. "Oh! I'm sorry..." she started to say as she turned to the other woman... but then, she froze in surprise.
Looking back at her in equal surprise was Magnesium... who was identically dressed up as Dark Phlebotinum.
Beryllium and Magnesium stared at each other. They both slowly smiled deeply evil smiles.
And then, they struck identical haughty poses in perfect unison and did an Ojousama Laff in stereo. "O-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!!"
—
Aluminum had completed a circle around the crowded room. She was pleased to find Beryllium and Magnesium excitedly discussing the latest episode of the Phlebotinum anime and the latest misadventures of their favorite villainess.
Oh good, Aluminum thought. I'm glad Beryl found someone to talk to. It looks like she and Magnesium have something to talk about. Come to think of it, they've always gotten along well, haven't they? And I'm pretty sure Magnesium is single too...
Oh well, Aluminum thought. Be that as it may, I've still gotta find a girlfriend for Beryl...