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31_days2016-08-14 07:31 pm
insaneladybug.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2016-08-14 07:31 pm
[August 14th] [The Wild Wild West] Building Blocks
Title: Building Blocks
Day/Theme: August 14th - I am learning the pathways of the heart
Series: The Wild Wild West (specifically, The Poisonous Posey episode)
Character/Pairing: Snakes Tolliver/Chita McCarthy (she's an OC; he's in my icon)
Rating: K/G
Continued from prior pieces.
By Lucky_Ladybug
I did a lot of thinking that night. I don't think I did any sleeping, but I laid there on the bed in the guest room for the most part and spent the night thinking about Chita and me and if there'd been any warnings or clues about the full truth that I just hadn't picked up on.
It was a weird situation, getting married within the first twenty-four hours of knowing each other and trying to build a decent marriage on that. But I wanted to and I was ready to learn.
Most of the really good tips for building a good marriage apply to any type of relationship, really. Trust is one of the foundation blocks; you can't do much of anything without that. The problem was, I trusted her too much and thought she was just as sincere as me when she wasn't.
Respect is another big one. If there's no respect, one or both of the parties are gonna be thinking the other is an idiot or not worth their time. I respected her a lot. I listened to her worries and upsets, I made sure I was there for her a lot, and I tried to see she was set up with access to the money. That got into the trust issue too, and boy, was I kicking myself for that when I realized she only cared about that.
Of course, I was stupid to have even made a pitch about getting married to get rich. Blind fool that I was, I thought that we'd have a great partnership and maybe even true love somewhere down the line. It never even occurred to me that maybe she'd only ever care just about the money and not me too at all. I always thought that I'd recognize a gold-digger if I saw one. I didn't know just how sneaky they are.
Patience . . . hoo boy. With Chita's wacky mood swings and her desire to pounce on anything wealthy, I had to be patient to deal with her. I tried to always think about the good I'd seen in her and keep that in the front of my mind whenever I got so frustrated I didn't know what I was gonna do. And usually, it worked. I came to love her in spite of all the negative things and I wanted to make it work out.
And you take kindness. If you've got all of the above things, you should already have kindness. You're never going to get anywhere in a marriage if you don't treat them nice, try to understand them, not act like you've got the ego the size of a planet. . . .
You know, the creepy thing is, Chita used all of those building blocks too, just not in the right way. She trusted that I would make a lot of money. She respected my money. She had patience waiting for my money. She was kind to me while biding her time for my money.
So, one other important thing: both parties have got to be using the building blocks in a good way for any marriage to really work.
Day/Theme: August 14th - I am learning the pathways of the heart
Series: The Wild Wild West (specifically, The Poisonous Posey episode)
Character/Pairing: Snakes Tolliver/Chita McCarthy (she's an OC; he's in my icon)
Rating: K/G
Continued from prior pieces.
I did a lot of thinking that night. I don't think I did any sleeping, but I laid there on the bed in the guest room for the most part and spent the night thinking about Chita and me and if there'd been any warnings or clues about the full truth that I just hadn't picked up on.
It was a weird situation, getting married within the first twenty-four hours of knowing each other and trying to build a decent marriage on that. But I wanted to and I was ready to learn.
Most of the really good tips for building a good marriage apply to any type of relationship, really. Trust is one of the foundation blocks; you can't do much of anything without that. The problem was, I trusted her too much and thought she was just as sincere as me when she wasn't.
Respect is another big one. If there's no respect, one or both of the parties are gonna be thinking the other is an idiot or not worth their time. I respected her a lot. I listened to her worries and upsets, I made sure I was there for her a lot, and I tried to see she was set up with access to the money. That got into the trust issue too, and boy, was I kicking myself for that when I realized she only cared about that.
Of course, I was stupid to have even made a pitch about getting married to get rich. Blind fool that I was, I thought that we'd have a great partnership and maybe even true love somewhere down the line. It never even occurred to me that maybe she'd only ever care just about the money and not me too at all. I always thought that I'd recognize a gold-digger if I saw one. I didn't know just how sneaky they are.
Patience . . . hoo boy. With Chita's wacky mood swings and her desire to pounce on anything wealthy, I had to be patient to deal with her. I tried to always think about the good I'd seen in her and keep that in the front of my mind whenever I got so frustrated I didn't know what I was gonna do. And usually, it worked. I came to love her in spite of all the negative things and I wanted to make it work out.
And you take kindness. If you've got all of the above things, you should already have kindness. You're never going to get anywhere in a marriage if you don't treat them nice, try to understand them, not act like you've got the ego the size of a planet. . . .
You know, the creepy thing is, Chita used all of those building blocks too, just not in the right way. She trusted that I would make a lot of money. She respected my money. She had patience waiting for my money. She was kind to me while biding her time for my money.
So, one other important thing: both parties have got to be using the building blocks in a good way for any marriage to really work.