[March 12th] [The Man From U.N.C.L.E.] Femme Fatales

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Title: Femme Fatales
Day/Theme: March 12th - the loveliest lies of all
Series: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (specifically, The Odd Man Affair episode)
Character/Pairing: Mr. Ecks, Mr. Wye
Rating: K/G


By Lucky_Ladybug

The flight to New York City was long, but thankfully without delays. In any case, Ecks and Wye certainly didn’t want for conversation. Neither wanted to tell the other just how badly he had been hurt, so they glossed over those elements and tried to focus on other, lighter subjects.

Vivalene certainly was not a “lighter” subject, however, and Ecks was hesitant to approach the fact that he had seen her again that very day.

Wye unwittingly solved that problem when he said, “I hope you didn’t have any unwelcome visitors poppin’ in unannounced. Some woman on my floor kept comin’ into my room because she was bored and wanted to get to know me better. One of those frightening kind that has marriage on her mind, whether or not she knows the groom very well!”

Ecks snarked but then sobered. “I didn’t, really, until right before I was leaving. Vivalene showed up to bother me.”

Wye jumped a mile. “How did she even know about you?!” Worry flickered in his eyes. He was thinking the same thing Ecks had—if Vivalene could find out, so could someone else.

“She said she just started putting the pieces together,” Ecks said. “She wondered where I might be if I hadn’t been blown to bits. She found someone who saw you take me away from the park and from there she started going through all the hospitals for anyone meeting my description.”

Wye looked disgusted. “Of all the bleedin’ nerve! She can never leave you alone for one minute!”

“She also lied about you,” Ecks said quietly. “She tried to tell me that you had betrayed me and she was working with you to kill me. I didn’t believe her, of course.”

“I wouldn’t think so!” Wye said, clearly ruffled. “You can’t believe anything a viper like that says.”

“I made sure she wasn’t following me when I left,” Ecks said. “I’ve gotten a lot more cautious about that these days.” His voice darkened. “No one’s going to sneak up on me like those U.N.C.L.E. agents did.”

“Good for you,” Wye nodded. “But it wouldn’t surprise me none if she’s already figured out where we might go. She might be waiting for us when we get to New York.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me, either,” Ecks scowled. “I’ve never understood why she’s so interested in me.”

“It’s not just you,” Wye grunted. “She goes after anyone she takes a fancy to, and that’s almost any bloke around. You saw those American newspapers tellin’ about her trying to get in with teenagers. I’ve also heard that she’s set her sights on men in their sixth or seventh decades of life!”

“She doesn’t like you,” Ecks pointed out.

“Of course not, because I was always wise to her little schemes. She never bothers with those types. She just tries to turn the ones she wants against the ones objecting to her rubbish.”

“I remember reading that in the newspaper,” Ecks frowned. “She did it with those teenagers. And she’s always tried to do it with you and me.”

“But you were smarter than some of those people back in Oregon. You never fell for it.”

“Yet she keeps coming to me anyway.”

Wye gave a weary sigh. “Because even though you don’t like her badmouthin’ me, you’re kind of fascinated by her. You’ve never really dealt with a woman like her, even in all the time you’ve been an official agent. She knows that and she keeps thinking that she can exploit it somehow.”

“Well, she can’t.” Ecks’ voice darkened. “Today I finally had enough and I told her so. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you more when you tried to warn me. I knew she was bad news, but you’re right that I was fascinated. She was a perpetual liar, but such a beautiful one.” Now he looked weary. “At least it didn’t take something as drastic as her shooting you for me to get the message.”

“We can always be grateful for that,” Wye nodded in complete agreement. “And I’m grateful as it is that you’ve giving up on her. Maybe she’ll finally leave you alone now.”

“We can only hope,” Ecks said. “We might get lost in the city and she’ll never find us again.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t count on that,” Wye groaned. “Not with a creature like that. They always find you again.”

“Then I suppose all I can plan on is that I’ll be ready for her when she shows up again,” Ecks said.

“That’s about it,” Wye said. “Although it’s not always easy to be ready for her, either. She always manages to stoop lower than you even thought possible.”

“She never seems to surprise you,” Ecks noted.

“Just because I know to always expect the dirtiest tricks conceivable,” Wye replied. “I’ve seen women like her before. Just never any quite as nasty as her.”

“You really have been around,” Ecks said. “There’s a lot like her?”

“Oh yes,” Wye nodded. “And if you’d been in the organization longer, you would have no doubt seen more of them. These fatal females are always hangin’ around spies. A lot of them are spies themselves.”

Ecks shuddered in horror. “You don’t think Vivalene might really be working for our old organization, do you?”

“She could be.” Wye frowned. “If she is, we’re both in serious trouble. I’ll try to discreetly find out what she’s up to when we land.”

“She seems more to me like a free agent,” Ecks said. “She always wants to do her own thing. I don’t think she’d handle someone else being the boss very well.”

“You’re already more perceptive than you were before,” Wye said. “You’re probably right. Let’s hope so.”

Ecks definitely did. Vivalene as her own boss wasn’t pleasant, but it was infinitely better than having to worry that she might be reporting to their old bosses right now.

Hopefully she wouldn’t report to them as an independent agent. She might do that, if she thought they’d pay her for the information. But Ecks doubted they would. At least, not the way she would want.

“Hey,” he wondered, “were you always wise to these women’s tricks?”

Wye flushed. “Well, nobody’s perfect all the time. I fell for one or two before I got wise. Maybe I’ll tell you sometime.”

Ecks let it go at that. They were flying over New York Harbor now.

Almost to their new home.