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31_days2005-10-11 02:25 pm
still-ciircee.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2005-10-11 02:25 pm
[11-10-05] [Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles] Between
Title: Between
Day/Theme: 11 October, 05/I know how furiously your heart is beating
Series: TRC
Character/Pairing: Fai, Kurogane-->mild Kurogane/Fai
Rating: Pg-13 or up. I hate ratings. Kurogane says the f-word and a few other not-so nice words. And there are 'mature themes' which doesn't mean sex in this case. Just themes for big people.
Notes: Okay! This is becoming a freaking series. First is Getting Inside and then, in my own journal--which doesn't have to be read in order to understand this (unlike the first one, because if you don't read 'Inside' you're going to be a bit lost)-- is Maybe it's later than we thought. So, ready? Then go!
Ps. *pssssst*...so not beta'd.
Kurogane chewed absently at the edge of one thumbnail, half watching the TV, half watching his friend. Fai was lying on the floor, chin propped on his arms, laughing away at an old episode of Black Adder.
“You might as well just spit it out,” he said at last, propping his feet up on the coffee table; he’d catch hell for it later, for the moment he felt like he needed the nonchalance the pose offered. There was something bad going on. He just wasn’t sure what it was.
Fai twisted, all artless grace, to face him. “Hmm?”
“Whatever the hell is in your head that’s making you twitchy? Yeah, just spit it out already.”
He could see the lie before Fai even changed expressions. “I think that you’re the one who’s twitchy. You’re the one who decided to sit on the couch.”
“You’re turning into Yukito, only he gives crap answers to everything and not just the crap he’d rather avoid. You think I can’t tell how hard your heart is beating? Or the fact that you’re not even breathing half the time down there? Well I know just how furiously your heart is beating and just how little air is getting to your brain. So. Talk. Tomoyo’s making popcorn and Souma’s on the phone with whatshisname so now’s the time to spill.” He kicked the coffee table so that it jounced forward to push against Fai’s feet. Their only point of contact as Fai looked away.
And sighed. “We should break up.”
Kurogane’s feet slipped to the floor with a heavy thud. “What?” he was surprised at how normal he sounded.
On the floor, Fai rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “You heard me.”
“We’re not…we’ve…doesn’t there have to be some thing to break in breaking up?”
“It sounds better than saying we shouldn’t be friends anymore. Even though…we sort of aren’t anymore anyhow.”
“It’s been a shitty year,” Kurogane grumbled.
“I know. I’m sorry. For all of it. Everything. All of it ever.”
He shattered the glass topped table by using it as a launching base to get to Fai. He heard a short, sharp scream and pounding feet. He didn’t really care, though. There was ice, in long thin shards like blades, where his blood should have been. “No, you’re not but you fucking will be,” he growled. He was only a little bit surprised when, instead of hitting him, he hauled Fai up and kissed with everything he had. Kurogane kissed him through two shocked gasps (three, if he counted Fai’s, which he didn’t since it hadn’t been audible) and more thumping footsteps and a slamming door. The whole time he felt like he was crying inside, half-screaming with sobs. He loved Fai, the keeper of all his best (and most embarrasing) secrets. The wizard who'd hired on his rouge ninja. He loved him...only, not in any way that made the kiss entirely appropriate.
It was Fai who pulled away and Kurogane realized with horror that he was crying out loud with tears and everything. He could see it reflected in Fai’s face as Fai found a half smile to wear. “I think you’ve permanently scarred your sisters, Kurogane.”
“They’re tough,” he tried to say but it came out choked. He tried to stop crying, to reign it in and be tough (he hadn’t cried since he was nine and that was because Fai and Yukito had run over him with their bikes), but couldn’t.
“Kurogane,” Fai said and Kurogane watched with an almost detached sense of pain as Fai start to cry.
“Kuro-mi,” he said strongly through his tears. “And I hate that name.” He had to grab Fai, then, and hide the embarrassment of trying to not cry and failing in the crook of his neck. He did hate that stupid nickname. The one Yukito had pegged him with when they’d been nothing but kids. Only Fai had hung onto it. And he’d hung onto Fai and let the name thing go. Because when Fai called him that it was just them, being just them.
“Shh,” Fai hummed soothingly. “Shh. It’s okay. It’s all right.”
“The hell it is,” he managed between gasps. “It’s fucking rough over here.” He clutched at Fai’s back, holding him hard.
Gentle hands smoothed over his back, covered the back of his neck in warmth. “Tough over here, too.” Soft fingers carded through his hair. “It’s only a month until graduation. We’ll tell anybody who asks that I came on to Souma and you kicked my ass over it and we ditched each other.”
“Fai…”
“And we pick different schools instead of the same one.”
He scrubbed his face against Fai’s shirt, not sure if he was shaking his head ‘no’ or nodding it ‘yes’. Even when he was finally turned loose from the embrace and helping pick up the scattered glass, he wasn’t sure.
In the morning, when he and Kinomoto reached the place where Fai and Yukito waited for them, it was only Yuki waiting. They both gave him an odd look.
“Ask him,” he growled, pointing at the tow-headed figure in the distance, too weak to tell a lie and not strong enough for the truth. And he wasn’t sure which was which anyways, anymore.
By noon, the whole school knew what had happened.
Except Kurogane.
And maybe, he thought as he walked home by himself, maybe Fai.
Day/Theme: 11 October, 05/I know how furiously your heart is beating
Series: TRC
Character/Pairing: Fai, Kurogane-->mild Kurogane/Fai
Rating: Pg-13 or up. I hate ratings. Kurogane says the f-word and a few other not-so nice words. And there are 'mature themes' which doesn't mean sex in this case. Just themes for big people.
Notes: Okay! This is becoming a freaking series. First is Getting Inside and then, in my own journal--which doesn't have to be read in order to understand this (unlike the first one, because if you don't read 'Inside' you're going to be a bit lost)-- is Maybe it's later than we thought. So, ready? Then go!
Ps. *pssssst*...so not beta'd.
Kurogane chewed absently at the edge of one thumbnail, half watching the TV, half watching his friend. Fai was lying on the floor, chin propped on his arms, laughing away at an old episode of Black Adder.
“You might as well just spit it out,” he said at last, propping his feet up on the coffee table; he’d catch hell for it later, for the moment he felt like he needed the nonchalance the pose offered. There was something bad going on. He just wasn’t sure what it was.
Fai twisted, all artless grace, to face him. “Hmm?”
“Whatever the hell is in your head that’s making you twitchy? Yeah, just spit it out already.”
He could see the lie before Fai even changed expressions. “I think that you’re the one who’s twitchy. You’re the one who decided to sit on the couch.”
“You’re turning into Yukito, only he gives crap answers to everything and not just the crap he’d rather avoid. You think I can’t tell how hard your heart is beating? Or the fact that you’re not even breathing half the time down there? Well I know just how furiously your heart is beating and just how little air is getting to your brain. So. Talk. Tomoyo’s making popcorn and Souma’s on the phone with whatshisname so now’s the time to spill.” He kicked the coffee table so that it jounced forward to push against Fai’s feet. Their only point of contact as Fai looked away.
And sighed. “We should break up.”
Kurogane’s feet slipped to the floor with a heavy thud. “What?” he was surprised at how normal he sounded.
On the floor, Fai rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling. “You heard me.”
“We’re not…we’ve…doesn’t there have to be some thing to break in breaking up?”
“It sounds better than saying we shouldn’t be friends anymore. Even though…we sort of aren’t anymore anyhow.”
“It’s been a shitty year,” Kurogane grumbled.
“I know. I’m sorry. For all of it. Everything. All of it ever.”
He shattered the glass topped table by using it as a launching base to get to Fai. He heard a short, sharp scream and pounding feet. He didn’t really care, though. There was ice, in long thin shards like blades, where his blood should have been. “No, you’re not but you fucking will be,” he growled. He was only a little bit surprised when, instead of hitting him, he hauled Fai up and kissed with everything he had. Kurogane kissed him through two shocked gasps (three, if he counted Fai’s, which he didn’t since it hadn’t been audible) and more thumping footsteps and a slamming door. The whole time he felt like he was crying inside, half-screaming with sobs. He loved Fai, the keeper of all his best (and most embarrasing) secrets. The wizard who'd hired on his rouge ninja. He loved him...only, not in any way that made the kiss entirely appropriate.
It was Fai who pulled away and Kurogane realized with horror that he was crying out loud with tears and everything. He could see it reflected in Fai’s face as Fai found a half smile to wear. “I think you’ve permanently scarred your sisters, Kurogane.”
“They’re tough,” he tried to say but it came out choked. He tried to stop crying, to reign it in and be tough (he hadn’t cried since he was nine and that was because Fai and Yukito had run over him with their bikes), but couldn’t.
“Kurogane,” Fai said and Kurogane watched with an almost detached sense of pain as Fai start to cry.
“Kuro-mi,” he said strongly through his tears. “And I hate that name.” He had to grab Fai, then, and hide the embarrassment of trying to not cry and failing in the crook of his neck. He did hate that stupid nickname. The one Yukito had pegged him with when they’d been nothing but kids. Only Fai had hung onto it. And he’d hung onto Fai and let the name thing go. Because when Fai called him that it was just them, being just them.
“Shh,” Fai hummed soothingly. “Shh. It’s okay. It’s all right.”
“The hell it is,” he managed between gasps. “It’s fucking rough over here.” He clutched at Fai’s back, holding him hard.
Gentle hands smoothed over his back, covered the back of his neck in warmth. “Tough over here, too.” Soft fingers carded through his hair. “It’s only a month until graduation. We’ll tell anybody who asks that I came on to Souma and you kicked my ass over it and we ditched each other.”
“Fai…”
“And we pick different schools instead of the same one.”
He scrubbed his face against Fai’s shirt, not sure if he was shaking his head ‘no’ or nodding it ‘yes’. Even when he was finally turned loose from the embrace and helping pick up the scattered glass, he wasn’t sure.
In the morning, when he and Kinomoto reached the place where Fai and Yukito waited for them, it was only Yuki waiting. They both gave him an odd look.
“Ask him,” he growled, pointing at the tow-headed figure in the distance, too weak to tell a lie and not strong enough for the truth. And he wasn’t sure which was which anyways, anymore.
By noon, the whole school knew what had happened.
Except Kurogane.
And maybe, he thought as he walked home by himself, maybe Fai.