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31_days2013-11-24 08:33 am
insaneladybug.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2013-11-24 08:33 am
[November 24th] [The Rockford Files-related] Chronicles of a Friendship, 24
Title: Chronicles of a Friendship, scene 24
Day/Theme: November 24th - Farewell at the Foot of the Hill
Series: The Rockford Files (using characters from The Queen of Peru episode)
Character/Pairing: Ginger Townsend, Lou Trevino, Mike Trevino
Rating: PG-13/T
Continued from yesterday's piece.
By Lucky_Ladybug
Lou was slouching forward in a chair in the hospital waiting room, clasping his hands on his knees. They had been here for some time with no real concrete explanation as to what had befallen Mike. It was a drug, the doctors were sure, and they would just have to wait for it to wear off before they could tell what, if any, damage had been done.
Ginger was sitting next to Lou, frowning as he observed his best friend’s agony. He wished he knew what to say or do to ease Lou’s pain. Instead, all he could really do was sit in silence and wait for Lou to speak.
“You tried so hard to get me to remember you,” Lou mumbled at last. “I remember all of it, especially what happened when you were struggling to explain what all of my weird memories meant.” He ran his hands over his eyes and shook his head. “I just couldn’t believe any of it. I laughed when you told me I was possessed when I beat you up.”
“In your condition, why wouldn’t you have laughed?” Ginger returned. “It sounds inane.”
“But the way you looked at me . . .” Lou slumped back and stared at the ceiling. “I’ll never forget that. I knew something was wrong as soon as I saw that. But I tried to push it away and ignore it.”
“You were still under that post-hypnotic suggestion,” Ginger pointed out. “Subconsciously, you thought it was for the best, so why would you have allowed yourself to give in and start believing me?”
“That’s something that worries me, though,” Lou said. “What if it wasn’t just the suggestion? What if I’d really treat you like that if we didn’t know each other or if I got amnesia some other way? You were always great to me, trying so hard to get me to remember, and I just kept brushing you off and treating you so cold. Even if I thought you were nuts about the possession, it wasn’t any reason to act like I did with you.”
“We already know what would happen if we didn’t know each other,” Ginger said. “You saw good in me even through my façade and wanted to work with me. No, you won’t convince me that your behavior wasn’t entirely based around the post-hypnotic suggestion. And if you acquired amnesia through some other means, it would simply be as though you were meeting me all over again.”
“Maybe. Unless I started getting back the bad memories again,” Lou frowned.
“Anyone would be unsettled with the memories you were experiencing. But that’s over now. You remember me and why you didn’t remember me before. It’s alright.”
“How?!” Lou suddenly burst out. “How is it alright? How can it ever be alright? I hurt you instead of protecting you, until that explosion, anyway. And maybe by following that stupid post-hypnotic suggestion, I hurt Mike too! Maybe he wouldn’t be in this mess if I’d just had the willpower to resist the suggestion and realize that I was looking at some stupid mannequin’s arms and legs and not Mike’s!”
Ginger rocked back. “That’s the whole point of using a drug to induce hypnosis,” he retorted. “It makes it much more difficult for the subject to resist, if they use cruel trickery as they did with you.”
“That’s not an excuse,” Lou snarled. “I hurt you and I sure didn’t help Mike, and you can sit there and tell me it’s alright!”
“Do you want me to scream at you?” Ginger suddenly realized. His voice was already gaining an edge from the stress of the situation and the last few days. “Do you want me to agree that yes, you hurt me, even though consciously you didn’t know what you were doing and subconsciously you thought you were protecting me from being mutilated? Yes, perhaps Michael wouldn’t have been drugged if you hadn’t become a pawn in this outrageous plot? Perhaps this, perhaps that.” He got to his feet.
Lou was staring at him in shock. At last, finally finding his voice, he said, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe that is what I want.” He stood as well, ignoring the fact that right now, all eyes in the waiting room were on them. “Maybe right now I hate myself so much that I just don’t know how you or anyone else couldn’t feel the same. And I don’t want to be told it’s alright when it’s not.”
They stood, glaring at each other for what seemed a never-ending moment. When Ginger finally spoke again, his voice was dark and frozen.
“The more you say such things, the more I hate not you, but the monsters responsible for this. If I knew who and where they are, I can’t say I wouldn’t go there with the intent to make them all suffer. I hate them for what they’ve done to you. And the deeper you sink into despair and hopelessness, the more you’re playing into their hands.”
Lou gaped at Ginger for another long moment. Then, suddenly, the silence and the anguish gave way to pleading and panic. “Oh Ginger, please don’t go after them. Please. I don’t think I could deal with that right now. They’d hurt you. And if they didn’t, they’d probably get hurt and you’d get arrested. I can’t stand to think of what you’d go through either way.”
“Then come back to yourself!” Ginger all but roared. “Recognize that they’re the ones at fault, not you. You’re just as much a victim as Michael and I!”
“How do I see that?!” Lou snapped back. “Maybe if this mess had been the other way around, you wouldn’t find it so easy either!” With that he shoved Ginger out of his way and stormed down the corridor, vanishing into the hospital chapel.
Ginger stared after him and then turned away, glowering at the floor. He would not follow Lou right now. They both needed time alone to cool down.
Instead he walked to the window, staring out at the city. He remained there for some time, undisturbed by the other waiting people as he turned everything over in his calculated, churning mind. When at last he turned back to face the room, some of them were gone and the others quickly busied themselves with magazines or knitting or checking their Smartphones, not wanting to make eye contact with the scary Englishman.
Lou was not present. Apparently he was still in the chapel. Frowning, Ginger brushed past the people and headed down the hall after him. It was time.
Lou was sitting in one of the middle pews when Ginger quietly opened one of the stained-glass doors. His elbows were resting on the top of the pew in front of him, his hands clasped against his forehead. He was either praying or lost in thought. Ginger approached slowly, still quietly, and finally sat down next to him. He waited for a moment, but when Lou didn’t make a motion to speak Ginger went ahead and did so.
“I’m sorry if you felt I was attacking you. I can’t stand seeing you as their actions have been shaping you—so broken, so filled with self-hatred. I’m furious at them, at what they’ve done to one of the strongest-willed men I know, and it finally came out as though I was directing my anger at you.”
Ginger paused. “I suppose, perhaps, in one way I was. I was angry that you would succumb to their attempts to make you feel so worthless, because I know you’re not. But you’re right; if it had been me, I probably would have felt the same.
“Perhaps in the end, I was angry at myself more than you. I’ve felt so helpless the last several days, as I’ve fought for you to regain your memory. And then, even when you remembered me, I could do nothing for you. You know how I can’t stand to be powerless.”
Lou remained silent. Ginger frowned, uneasy. Had he hurt Lou even more than he had thought? He waited, not sure that he dare say anything else yet.
Finally Lou pushed himself away from the other pew and turned to look at Ginger. “I’m sorry too,” he said. “I can’t blame you for snapping. You were right; I was practically egging you into it. I wanted you to snap and yell at me because I felt that was all I deserved. And by acting like that, I hurt you again.
“I know you’re right that I’m a victim too. It’s just hard for me to see it that way, even when logically I know darn well it’s the truth. It’s just . . .” He clenched his teeth, trying to resist the urge to swear in the chapel. “You and Mike mean so much to me and I was used as an instrument in hurting you both. And the way I am right now, I’m still hurting you and I don’t know how to stop.”
“Recovery won’t happen overnight,” Ginger said, relieved that Lou had spoken to him at last. “It will take time. Perhaps when Michael is awake and alright, that will help.”
“And if he doesn’t wake up?” Lou returned. “Or if he does but still isn’t alright? What then?”
Ginger considered those heartbreaking possibilities. “We’d have to figure that out if it happened,” he said. The way Lou was now, he feared that Lou might never recover if Michael didn’t. But he wasn’t about to say that.
Lou shook his head. “I can’t ask you to deal with me in my state.”
“You aren’t,” Ginger retorted. “But you should know by now that I won’t abandon you. And if you were to decide to pick up and leave, that is what would hurt me more than anything else. Don’t you dare think it isn’t. I would rather deal with you as you are right now than to not have you around.”
Lou leaned back, gazing at the stubborn and determined man. “I don’t know how you can feel that way, Ginger, but I have to say I’m really glad you do.”
“Then we’re even. I’ve never known how you could still want me around after seeing me at my worst. Instead you justify me and tell me that you’ve always seen the good in me. I’ve seen the good in you as well. The very fact that you’re so upset tonight shows that you’re a good person, completely worthy of my or anyone else’s concern and caring.”
Finally Lou nodded. “I don’t want to leave,” he confessed. “If you’re really sure you want me to stick around, Ginger, I promise I will.” He drew a shaking breath. “No matter what happens.”
Ginger relaxed. “Good. And I’ll be here for you whatever happens. If I can’t help you at a particular time, I will wait until you feel I can.”
Lou managed a smile. “Thanks, Buddy.”
For a while they sat in the silence and shelter of the chapel, comforted in knowing that they would always have each other and quietly praying for Mike.
“Hey, Ginger,” Lou spoke at last. “You know, you have helped me. If I’ve been a basket case tonight with you around, I’d be a whole lot worse without you.”
“I hate to think of that,” Ginger frowned. “I’m glad I could do something, even though it didn’t feel like it was possible at the time.”
“I’m sorry I made you feel like it wasn’t possible,” Lou sighed. “It’s been such a crazy night.”
The door opened and they both turned, questioningly. At the sight of the doctor who had been looking after Mike, Lou jumped to his feet. “Has there been any change in Mike’s condition?” he demanded.
The doctor nodded. “He’s coming out of the drug,” he said. “He’s still woozy, but I think he’s going to be alright. The first thing he did was to ask about you.”
Lou brightened. “Can I see him?”
“I think that would be the best thing for him right now,” the doctor smiled. “I’ll take you to his room.”
Lou hurried out from the pew and followed the physician. Ginger followed Lou, intending to go to the room but then wait in the background while the brothers reunited.
Mike was semi-conscious when they arrived. “Lou?” he called, weakly reaching for his brother.
Peace and joy filled Lou’s soul. He hastened forward, taking Mike’s hand. “I’m here, Mike,” he said. “I’m here.”
Mike smiled. “I knew you’d find me.”
Ginger crossed his arms and leaned against the closed door, the trace of a smile on his face. Michael would recover. Lou would too. It would just take a little time.
Less now than he had thought, perhaps.
Day/Theme: November 24th - Farewell at the Foot of the Hill
Series: The Rockford Files (using characters from The Queen of Peru episode)
Character/Pairing: Ginger Townsend, Lou Trevino, Mike Trevino
Rating: PG-13/T
Continued from yesterday's piece.
Lou was slouching forward in a chair in the hospital waiting room, clasping his hands on his knees. They had been here for some time with no real concrete explanation as to what had befallen Mike. It was a drug, the doctors were sure, and they would just have to wait for it to wear off before they could tell what, if any, damage had been done.
Ginger was sitting next to Lou, frowning as he observed his best friend’s agony. He wished he knew what to say or do to ease Lou’s pain. Instead, all he could really do was sit in silence and wait for Lou to speak.
“You tried so hard to get me to remember you,” Lou mumbled at last. “I remember all of it, especially what happened when you were struggling to explain what all of my weird memories meant.” He ran his hands over his eyes and shook his head. “I just couldn’t believe any of it. I laughed when you told me I was possessed when I beat you up.”
“In your condition, why wouldn’t you have laughed?” Ginger returned. “It sounds inane.”
“But the way you looked at me . . .” Lou slumped back and stared at the ceiling. “I’ll never forget that. I knew something was wrong as soon as I saw that. But I tried to push it away and ignore it.”
“You were still under that post-hypnotic suggestion,” Ginger pointed out. “Subconsciously, you thought it was for the best, so why would you have allowed yourself to give in and start believing me?”
“That’s something that worries me, though,” Lou said. “What if it wasn’t just the suggestion? What if I’d really treat you like that if we didn’t know each other or if I got amnesia some other way? You were always great to me, trying so hard to get me to remember, and I just kept brushing you off and treating you so cold. Even if I thought you were nuts about the possession, it wasn’t any reason to act like I did with you.”
“We already know what would happen if we didn’t know each other,” Ginger said. “You saw good in me even through my façade and wanted to work with me. No, you won’t convince me that your behavior wasn’t entirely based around the post-hypnotic suggestion. And if you acquired amnesia through some other means, it would simply be as though you were meeting me all over again.”
“Maybe. Unless I started getting back the bad memories again,” Lou frowned.
“Anyone would be unsettled with the memories you were experiencing. But that’s over now. You remember me and why you didn’t remember me before. It’s alright.”
“How?!” Lou suddenly burst out. “How is it alright? How can it ever be alright? I hurt you instead of protecting you, until that explosion, anyway. And maybe by following that stupid post-hypnotic suggestion, I hurt Mike too! Maybe he wouldn’t be in this mess if I’d just had the willpower to resist the suggestion and realize that I was looking at some stupid mannequin’s arms and legs and not Mike’s!”
Ginger rocked back. “That’s the whole point of using a drug to induce hypnosis,” he retorted. “It makes it much more difficult for the subject to resist, if they use cruel trickery as they did with you.”
“That’s not an excuse,” Lou snarled. “I hurt you and I sure didn’t help Mike, and you can sit there and tell me it’s alright!”
“Do you want me to scream at you?” Ginger suddenly realized. His voice was already gaining an edge from the stress of the situation and the last few days. “Do you want me to agree that yes, you hurt me, even though consciously you didn’t know what you were doing and subconsciously you thought you were protecting me from being mutilated? Yes, perhaps Michael wouldn’t have been drugged if you hadn’t become a pawn in this outrageous plot? Perhaps this, perhaps that.” He got to his feet.
Lou was staring at him in shock. At last, finally finding his voice, he said, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe that is what I want.” He stood as well, ignoring the fact that right now, all eyes in the waiting room were on them. “Maybe right now I hate myself so much that I just don’t know how you or anyone else couldn’t feel the same. And I don’t want to be told it’s alright when it’s not.”
They stood, glaring at each other for what seemed a never-ending moment. When Ginger finally spoke again, his voice was dark and frozen.
“The more you say such things, the more I hate not you, but the monsters responsible for this. If I knew who and where they are, I can’t say I wouldn’t go there with the intent to make them all suffer. I hate them for what they’ve done to you. And the deeper you sink into despair and hopelessness, the more you’re playing into their hands.”
Lou gaped at Ginger for another long moment. Then, suddenly, the silence and the anguish gave way to pleading and panic. “Oh Ginger, please don’t go after them. Please. I don’t think I could deal with that right now. They’d hurt you. And if they didn’t, they’d probably get hurt and you’d get arrested. I can’t stand to think of what you’d go through either way.”
“Then come back to yourself!” Ginger all but roared. “Recognize that they’re the ones at fault, not you. You’re just as much a victim as Michael and I!”
“How do I see that?!” Lou snapped back. “Maybe if this mess had been the other way around, you wouldn’t find it so easy either!” With that he shoved Ginger out of his way and stormed down the corridor, vanishing into the hospital chapel.
Ginger stared after him and then turned away, glowering at the floor. He would not follow Lou right now. They both needed time alone to cool down.
Instead he walked to the window, staring out at the city. He remained there for some time, undisturbed by the other waiting people as he turned everything over in his calculated, churning mind. When at last he turned back to face the room, some of them were gone and the others quickly busied themselves with magazines or knitting or checking their Smartphones, not wanting to make eye contact with the scary Englishman.
Lou was not present. Apparently he was still in the chapel. Frowning, Ginger brushed past the people and headed down the hall after him. It was time.
Lou was sitting in one of the middle pews when Ginger quietly opened one of the stained-glass doors. His elbows were resting on the top of the pew in front of him, his hands clasped against his forehead. He was either praying or lost in thought. Ginger approached slowly, still quietly, and finally sat down next to him. He waited for a moment, but when Lou didn’t make a motion to speak Ginger went ahead and did so.
“I’m sorry if you felt I was attacking you. I can’t stand seeing you as their actions have been shaping you—so broken, so filled with self-hatred. I’m furious at them, at what they’ve done to one of the strongest-willed men I know, and it finally came out as though I was directing my anger at you.”
Ginger paused. “I suppose, perhaps, in one way I was. I was angry that you would succumb to their attempts to make you feel so worthless, because I know you’re not. But you’re right; if it had been me, I probably would have felt the same.
“Perhaps in the end, I was angry at myself more than you. I’ve felt so helpless the last several days, as I’ve fought for you to regain your memory. And then, even when you remembered me, I could do nothing for you. You know how I can’t stand to be powerless.”
Lou remained silent. Ginger frowned, uneasy. Had he hurt Lou even more than he had thought? He waited, not sure that he dare say anything else yet.
Finally Lou pushed himself away from the other pew and turned to look at Ginger. “I’m sorry too,” he said. “I can’t blame you for snapping. You were right; I was practically egging you into it. I wanted you to snap and yell at me because I felt that was all I deserved. And by acting like that, I hurt you again.
“I know you’re right that I’m a victim too. It’s just hard for me to see it that way, even when logically I know darn well it’s the truth. It’s just . . .” He clenched his teeth, trying to resist the urge to swear in the chapel. “You and Mike mean so much to me and I was used as an instrument in hurting you both. And the way I am right now, I’m still hurting you and I don’t know how to stop.”
“Recovery won’t happen overnight,” Ginger said, relieved that Lou had spoken to him at last. “It will take time. Perhaps when Michael is awake and alright, that will help.”
“And if he doesn’t wake up?” Lou returned. “Or if he does but still isn’t alright? What then?”
Ginger considered those heartbreaking possibilities. “We’d have to figure that out if it happened,” he said. The way Lou was now, he feared that Lou might never recover if Michael didn’t. But he wasn’t about to say that.
Lou shook his head. “I can’t ask you to deal with me in my state.”
“You aren’t,” Ginger retorted. “But you should know by now that I won’t abandon you. And if you were to decide to pick up and leave, that is what would hurt me more than anything else. Don’t you dare think it isn’t. I would rather deal with you as you are right now than to not have you around.”
Lou leaned back, gazing at the stubborn and determined man. “I don’t know how you can feel that way, Ginger, but I have to say I’m really glad you do.”
“Then we’re even. I’ve never known how you could still want me around after seeing me at my worst. Instead you justify me and tell me that you’ve always seen the good in me. I’ve seen the good in you as well. The very fact that you’re so upset tonight shows that you’re a good person, completely worthy of my or anyone else’s concern and caring.”
Finally Lou nodded. “I don’t want to leave,” he confessed. “If you’re really sure you want me to stick around, Ginger, I promise I will.” He drew a shaking breath. “No matter what happens.”
Ginger relaxed. “Good. And I’ll be here for you whatever happens. If I can’t help you at a particular time, I will wait until you feel I can.”
Lou managed a smile. “Thanks, Buddy.”
For a while they sat in the silence and shelter of the chapel, comforted in knowing that they would always have each other and quietly praying for Mike.
“Hey, Ginger,” Lou spoke at last. “You know, you have helped me. If I’ve been a basket case tonight with you around, I’d be a whole lot worse without you.”
“I hate to think of that,” Ginger frowned. “I’m glad I could do something, even though it didn’t feel like it was possible at the time.”
“I’m sorry I made you feel like it wasn’t possible,” Lou sighed. “It’s been such a crazy night.”
The door opened and they both turned, questioningly. At the sight of the doctor who had been looking after Mike, Lou jumped to his feet. “Has there been any change in Mike’s condition?” he demanded.
The doctor nodded. “He’s coming out of the drug,” he said. “He’s still woozy, but I think he’s going to be alright. The first thing he did was to ask about you.”
Lou brightened. “Can I see him?”
“I think that would be the best thing for him right now,” the doctor smiled. “I’ll take you to his room.”
Lou hurried out from the pew and followed the physician. Ginger followed Lou, intending to go to the room but then wait in the background while the brothers reunited.
Mike was semi-conscious when they arrived. “Lou?” he called, weakly reaching for his brother.
Peace and joy filled Lou’s soul. He hastened forward, taking Mike’s hand. “I’m here, Mike,” he said. “I’m here.”
Mike smiled. “I knew you’d find me.”
Ginger crossed his arms and leaned against the closed door, the trace of a smile on his face. Michael would recover. Lou would too. It would just take a little time.
Less now than he had thought, perhaps.