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31_days2013-03-19 03:30 pm
seta-suzume.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2013-03-19 03:30 pm
[Mar. 19] [The Hunger Games] Testament/It's Rumored/Blank Walls
Title: Screams Bouncing Off Blank Walls/It's Rumored/Testament
Day/Theme: March 19, 2013 "my wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death"
Series: The Hunger Games
Character/Pairing: OC victors (mainly, mentions of other canon characters)
Rating: PG-13
Song and I both know the sound of the other's screams.
After I won, but before we were married, or even involved romantically, really, I purchased a copy of her recap reel (secretly, by mail, because I didn't want Mags or my father to know about it). I watched it over and over in my bedroom on nights when I couldn't sleep with the volume turned down low so Dad wouldn't wake up to the sound of Song Wen's screaming. It was something about her Games that made me want to volunteer.
This was probably the first sign that I was absolutely, certifiably crazy.
Tears and snot are running down my face right now as I lack the energy to try and wipe them away or do anything else by lie on my stomach on my bunk.
Down the hall, I hear Song's screams.
I am facing that direction, but there is nothing to see but a gray, concrete wall. Better not to see, perhaps, because there's nothing I can do to help her. Maybe the mentoring victors who were killed in the pandemonium when the arena was shattered were the ones better off. Song and I came here knowing we were likelier to die this time than survive. That our odds might have been worse outside the arena than within.
Song keeps screaming and there's still nothing I can do. I wonder when I'll start wishing for the torture to end and for them to just finish us off.
These walls will outlive us all.
"Chrissie?" I whisper. It's so quiet, so empty- they watch us by camera more than in person- but I'm almost afraid to speak at all. "Chrissie, are you there?"
She was there this morning. I could hear her saying something to the guard.
"I'm here, Miranda," she answers. The walls must be thinner than I realized for her to hear me so easily.
"Who was it who was screaming?" I'm not entirely clear on who's here with us and who's not. And, when it comes to who's not, who's dead and who's escaped and joined the rebels.
"Whichever one of the women from Four, I think." She's not even sure about that, but discussing it might clarify some things for me.
"I only thought Song was here."
"They have Annie too. I saw her with the Peacekeepers."
I wonder how. If it that means that Four has fallen. Annie Cresta never mentored. She never returned to the Capitol. "Chrissie, I'm scared," I admit. Again. As if I never stopped being scared (when I was reaped, my Games, in the Capitol, when they took back Cecelia and when even with all her children around her I never gave a single serious thought to stepping in to take her place).
"I am too," she agrees.
The women from Eight are talking, but it's not news to me because I already saw Annie. I know they have Annie. I don't know what's happening in Four, but there must be something, because they're giving those people the hardest time of all of us here. They think they know something, and maybe they do.
When it comes to Eleven, it's the same as Four- there's something to know. Eight, Three, Seven, and Six too, I guess. That's why they've tortured, but they haven't killed the ones of us they captured (they didn't mean to kill Miracle, but it happened anyway). We still might have something to give them. The Ones and Twos were taken someplace else. Maybe they got house arrest.
When they took me to see the president, I thought I heard Johanna, but maybe I was wrong.
I'm starting to hear- and imagine I hear- a lot of things.
I've been thinking a lot about Chaff- how close he came to making it. Because the rebels rescued some of them. Katniss was on TV, I heard, and I don't want to think they didn't get at least someone else. Beetee, Peeta, Finnick, Enobaria…
"I'm Will. I lived. I was here." I want to scratch it into the dull, gray walls, but nothing I have will leave a mark.
I'm Will Chastain and I'm thirty-five and I'm the victor of the 58th Hunger Games. And Chaff promised me I wouldn't go back to the arena. I didn't. And now all the other Elevens are gone.
I'm Will. Whose mother hoped he would be free. Whose mother wanted him to shape his destiny with his own hands.
Mother, they have taken back the legs they gave me.
Mother, will anyone remember me when I am gone? 'Cuz the rebels are still fighting, but I'm no Peeta Mellark. There's no one in Thirteen to use me against and soon enough I think that all of us are going to be gone.
Day/Theme: March 19, 2013 "my wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death"
Series: The Hunger Games
Character/Pairing: OC victors (mainly, mentions of other canon characters)
Rating: PG-13
Song and I both know the sound of the other's screams.
After I won, but before we were married, or even involved romantically, really, I purchased a copy of her recap reel (secretly, by mail, because I didn't want Mags or my father to know about it). I watched it over and over in my bedroom on nights when I couldn't sleep with the volume turned down low so Dad wouldn't wake up to the sound of Song Wen's screaming. It was something about her Games that made me want to volunteer.
This was probably the first sign that I was absolutely, certifiably crazy.
Tears and snot are running down my face right now as I lack the energy to try and wipe them away or do anything else by lie on my stomach on my bunk.
Down the hall, I hear Song's screams.
I am facing that direction, but there is nothing to see but a gray, concrete wall. Better not to see, perhaps, because there's nothing I can do to help her. Maybe the mentoring victors who were killed in the pandemonium when the arena was shattered were the ones better off. Song and I came here knowing we were likelier to die this time than survive. That our odds might have been worse outside the arena than within.
Song keeps screaming and there's still nothing I can do. I wonder when I'll start wishing for the torture to end and for them to just finish us off.
These walls will outlive us all.
"Chrissie?" I whisper. It's so quiet, so empty- they watch us by camera more than in person- but I'm almost afraid to speak at all. "Chrissie, are you there?"
She was there this morning. I could hear her saying something to the guard.
"I'm here, Miranda," she answers. The walls must be thinner than I realized for her to hear me so easily.
"Who was it who was screaming?" I'm not entirely clear on who's here with us and who's not. And, when it comes to who's not, who's dead and who's escaped and joined the rebels.
"Whichever one of the women from Four, I think." She's not even sure about that, but discussing it might clarify some things for me.
"I only thought Song was here."
"They have Annie too. I saw her with the Peacekeepers."
I wonder how. If it that means that Four has fallen. Annie Cresta never mentored. She never returned to the Capitol. "Chrissie, I'm scared," I admit. Again. As if I never stopped being scared (when I was reaped, my Games, in the Capitol, when they took back Cecelia and when even with all her children around her I never gave a single serious thought to stepping in to take her place).
"I am too," she agrees.
The women from Eight are talking, but it's not news to me because I already saw Annie. I know they have Annie. I don't know what's happening in Four, but there must be something, because they're giving those people the hardest time of all of us here. They think they know something, and maybe they do.
When it comes to Eleven, it's the same as Four- there's something to know. Eight, Three, Seven, and Six too, I guess. That's why they've tortured, but they haven't killed the ones of us they captured (they didn't mean to kill Miracle, but it happened anyway). We still might have something to give them. The Ones and Twos were taken someplace else. Maybe they got house arrest.
When they took me to see the president, I thought I heard Johanna, but maybe I was wrong.
I'm starting to hear- and imagine I hear- a lot of things.
I've been thinking a lot about Chaff- how close he came to making it. Because the rebels rescued some of them. Katniss was on TV, I heard, and I don't want to think they didn't get at least someone else. Beetee, Peeta, Finnick, Enobaria…
"I'm Will. I lived. I was here." I want to scratch it into the dull, gray walls, but nothing I have will leave a mark.
I'm Will Chastain and I'm thirty-five and I'm the victor of the 58th Hunger Games. And Chaff promised me I wouldn't go back to the arena. I didn't. And now all the other Elevens are gone.
I'm Will. Whose mother hoped he would be free. Whose mother wanted him to shape his destiny with his own hands.
Mother, they have taken back the legs they gave me.
Mother, will anyone remember me when I am gone? 'Cuz the rebels are still fighting, but I'm no Peeta Mellark. There's no one in Thirteen to use me against and soon enough I think that all of us are going to be gone.