[November 22nd] [Perry Mason-related] State of Penance

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Title: State of Penance
Day/Theme: November 22nd - "We thought you knew what you were doing!"
Series: Perry Mason (based on the episode The Case of the Decadent Dean)
Character/Pairing: Tobin Wade, Marian Stuart
Rating: K+/PG

I never thought something like this story would happen. Tobin Wade is, I think, one of the biggest slimeballs in the entire series. But he was a genuine friend of the Stuarts at one time, it seems, and when I watched this episode again yesterday I suddenly started thinking "... What if after his death he actually felt sorry for betraying his friends?"

Tobin Wade is played by H.M. Wynant, the fellow in the icon (although that's a much different character of his).


By Lucky_Ladybug

He slinked like a ghost among the shadows and brush surrounding the house. He knew it well, all too well. There was no one home now; the residents had gone to Cliffside for the weekend. He was aware of that, yet he stayed, gazing at the house as though it could offer some answers to his quandary.

He had been a dead man, struck repeatedly on the head with first a log and then a tire iron. He remembered being dead, but he also remembered managing to get back into his body and leaving the morgue. He was not sure at all why it had never been reported, but to his knowledge, he was still considered dead.

He had wandered in a daze for a time, unsure of who he was or what he was doing. That, however, had only been temporary. He had regained his memories before long. And he was still unsure now, unsure of what to make of them.

The people in the house he was staring at had been his friends. Years ago they had sworn an oath to remain friends to the bitter end.

He had broken the oath. His greed had taken over as he had stolen textbooks and set his best friend up for a fall, smearing his reputation and that of the school he ran. As if that hadn’t been enough, eventually in desperation he had tricked Marian into taking her first drinks in a year and had framed Aaron for causing his own death.

He sank onto a stump at the edge of the property. “What kind of monster am I?” he muttered under his breath.

And what on earth was he doing here? He had never revealed himself as being alive. Instead he had taken on a false name to get a low-paying, blue-collar job. He kept under the radar, not certain what to do with himself otherwise. Every night, like the spectre he felt like he was, he returned here to think and gaze on the Stuarts’ house.

“Tobin?”

He jumped a mile. Marian had managed to come out from the side door and approach him without his knowledge. She was regarding him with an uncanny mixture of apprehension, sorrow, and a bittersweet smile.

He got up from the stump. “So someone was home after all.” It was all he could think to say, but instead of speaking with his customary smoothness, his voice sounded vague and sheepish, even to him.

“We got home early because Aaron has to prepare for an important class tomorrow.

“I knew I wasn’t seeing things.” Marian took a step closer. “I told Aaron, but he couldn’t believe it. After you’d already died and come back once in that nightmare of ours, to think of it happening another time was too much for him.” She glanced over her shoulder. “He’s at the school tonight.

“What do you want, Tobin?” Marian met his puzzled gaze with resolve. “Can’t you rest like the dead should, because of what you did to Aaron? To me?”

He looked down in guilt. “I betrayed you both,” he said. “You deserve an explanation, but I don’t even know I can give you one. Except . . .” He shook his head helplessly. “Greed is a horrible monster.”

Marian smiled again, still bittersweet, still sad. “It is.” She came to stand directly in front of him. “I think what hurts the most is that you really were our friend before all this happened. There was a time when I think you would have given your life to save Aaron, if it ever came to that.

“Instead, something happened to you, Tobin. You let that monster get hold of you and twist you into some horrible stranger that neither Aaron nor I knew. You were even willing to let Aaron go to prison on a manslaughter charge for supposedly killing you!” She clenched a fist at her side. “He was devastated, but in another way, I’m not sure he was that surprised. He knows about the dark side of human nature. He’s studied it, taught about it, in his English classes.

“I’m not anywhere as educated as he is, or as philosophical, but I understand too. But . . .” She looked down, struggling with her thoughts, trying to properly form them into words. “Maybe it was just naïve of me, but I hoped that the Tobin Wade we used to know wasn’t completely gone. I hoped that after you died, you’d come back to yourself. I hoped you’d regret what you did and feel sorry for hurting us.” She met his gaze, trying to smile, bravely, hopefully. “Is it wrong to think you do?”

He searched her eyes, studying them, and at last shook his head. “It’s not wrong. Yes, you’re right, Marian.”

She smiled more. “I’m glad.”

“I don’t know how everything got so out of control in the first place,” he confessed. “Originally all I wanted was for Aaron to vacate the school so it could be used for that real estate deal. So I stole textbooks and replaced the ones we were supposed to use with those. When that didn’t work, I started making anonymous calls and telling lies to make it sound like Aaron wasn’t running the school properly. Then, after I was seen during that last robbery, I became panicked, desperate. I knew I’d have to drop out of sight before long. And I came up with the idea of the faked death and framing Aaron for accidentally causing it. I didn’t want to do it, but it seemed the best way out of my problems.

“Actually, I thought he’d get off. I knew Mason was his lawyer and that he was the best, but . . . oh, I don’t know.” He turned away. “I wasn’t thinking clear.

“And what I did to you, Marian. . . . I didn’t want to do that, either, but I needed you drunk and sick to get Aaron sufficiently enraged at me to make it all believable when he supposedly knocked me off the bluff.

“I’m sorry.” He looked back, the sincerity in his eyes. “I am so sorry, for everything. I can’t take it back and I can’t repair the damage I caused, and saying I’m sorry sounds so hollow, but it’s all I have. It all started with one mistake, one breach of trust, and then it just kept snowballing into something worse and worse.”

“That’s how it usually goes,” Marian said sadly, perhaps a bit knowingly. “It just takes one mistake.

“I forgave you for what you did to me, Tobin.” She shifted. “It took a while, but I did. I’m not sure I’ve been able to forgive what you did to Aaron, and I’m not sure Aaron has forgiven you for anything, or . . . or if he ever can, but . . .”

“Nevermind.” Tobin sighed. “You won’t see me around again. And you can tell Aaron that, too. Tell him he doesn’t have to worry.”

“I’ll tell him.” Marian peered at him in concern. “What will happen to you? Are you . . .” She looked uncomfortable, not quite sure how to say it. “Have you been in Hell?”

“Let’s call it Purgatory.”

Marian blinked. “Then there’s a chance you might . . . go to Heaven someday?”

“Someday, maybe.” Tobin smiled sadly now himself. “Goodbye, Marian.”

“Goodbye.” Marian watched as he turned and walked slowly off the property. She frowned. It was strange that he was still visible.

And even stranger that his shoes had made imprints in the lawn and she could hear him crunching through the autumn leaves.

Her heart gathered speed. “Tobin?!” she cried, running after him.

He stopped and turned. She was staring at him, bewildered, shaking. “You . . . you’re alive,” she breathed. “You can’t be, but . . .”

He smirked, darkly and self-depreciatingly. “Maybe it’s how I was punished for trying to fake my death before. Yes, I’m alive. I was dead and came back to life with temporary memory loss. Very temporary. But, Marian . . .” His expression turned serious again. “I meant what I said about Purgatory. I’m paying for what I did. Not in the theological sense of Purgatory, or even in a conventional prison, but I’m paying.”

Marian bit her lip. “And someday you’ll die for real.”

“Hopefully moving on to a better place when I do.” Tobin half-turned, looking down the street. “I don’t want to upset Aaron worse. I also meant what I said about staying away from now on.”

“I wish you wouldn’t.” Marian looked into his widening, stunned eyes. “Give Aaron some time. I really think you should apologize to him, too.”

“He would never accept it.”

“Maybe not, but at least you would have tried. And if you’ve really changed, I’d like to believe our friendship is still alive too.”

He mulled over her words, finally nodding. “Maybe I’ll be back.”

She stepped forward. “Is there a place where we can reach you?”

“It’s better if you don’t try.” He smiled, gently, kindly, like the friend she had used to know. “I’ll be back.”

She nodded, trusting that it was not a lie. “Then . . . not goodbye, but until next time.” Slowly she reached out with a hand.

His eyes glittering with surprise, he took it. “Until next time,” he agreed, shaking it firmly.

His revival could be seen either as what he thinks it is, or perhaps, he's become Dr. Portman's latest experiment, without his knowledge of such....