31_days | [Nov 19th] [original] In a strangers body

Title: In A Stranger's Body
Day/Theme: 19. the incalculable power of certain acts
Original: Silver&Auburn
Character/Pairing: Kayrenn of Keriann, Leyn Celenn
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: gender-dysphoria, disturbing content linked to an unvoluntary&unwanted sex-change

SORRY;LJ ATE MY CUT BEFORE!

Kayrenn was so scared and confused that he did not know what to do. What could he do? What could you do when your life had been turned upside down? Kayrenn fervently wished that there would be some way to undo what had happened. Give him back his old self. Inside, he was the same. But as he shifted and moved restlessly, holding his hands from touching any new part of his transformed body... it was becoming difficult to even call himself a he.

Sinking deeper and deeper into his mind, Kayrenn was losing it.

“Why did this happen?” He asked, cringing at how the sound which issued from his throat was soft, feminine, miles away from his customary male tone. He could not even close his eyes and try and pretend that nothing had happened. Never before had he been as aware of his body as he was now. The stickiness of the blood still clinging to his thighs, the wetness of the sheets underneath him, because move as much as he might, there were edges of the dampness all over the sheets... His chest felt sore where his flesh had swelled to form the mounds he was not comfortable yet to call breasts.

No matter how he thought about it, his body changing, painfully, into that of a woman's, when he had never asked for it... there was no sense to it. He could not make heads nor tails about it. The shock of the pain had been horrible enough but the realization which dawned once he could breathe again, of the way his body had changed. It was... Kayrenn could not find any sense in it.

“Kay?”

Of course. Kayrenn both wanted Leyn there but also wanted the disgraced prince as far away from him, this new body of his which was not what Leyn loved, as possible. Leyn could not see. He would be disgusted. Would call him an abomination. A freak. Leyn would shun him and Kayrenn knew that it would be more than what he could ever bear. To see disgust in his husband's eyes, it was a thought that did not bear thinking about, in Kayrenn's mind. Yet Kayrenn thought it. Burrowing deeper in between the bloodstained sheets, which made him shiver, Kayrenn refused to acknowledge Leyn's presence.

Even when all Kayrenn wanted to do was throw himself at his husband and weep bitterly, to seek comfort in Leyn's arms.

But a hoarse whisper was all he managed, muffled because his head was buried in the sheets and pillows.

“Go away...” Kayrenn rasped, hoping that Leyn would leave it, yet knowing he would not.

It was no great surprise when a weight sitting down on the edge of the bed behind Kayrenn's turned back, jostling his body a little. Kayrenn shook, fearing and hoping for Leyn to do something.

“You know that I won't, so there's no point in asking for it,” Leyn said. “I... the healer is coming. You aren't screaming anymore, Kay, is the pain away?” Kayrenn's husband, asked.

Kayrenn was silent for a long time, shifting nervously, gasping as the newly transformed parts of his body ached, still so sore. Leyn waited, but Kayrenn knew that the prince was getting anxious over the long silence stretching between them.

“Kay, pain? Is it away?” Leyn soon repeated his question, an edge to his voice, a panic brimming under the surface.

“Yes...” Kayrenn whispered hoarsely, his throat hurt from having screaming so much... before. The red head shifted legs and... cringed. Sticky and missing parts of his body which were essential in a man. “Can't you just go, please, go?” Kayrenn pleaded once more, almost past all endurance.

“Not until you tell me what's wrong, Kay,” and then Leyn did touch Kayrenn.

As Leyn gathered Kayrenn in his arms, blankets and all, the red head wept bitterly. It was too much, all too much. For this must be the very last time Leyn's hands wound wind around him in this way, the last time his lips touched the tousled red hair on the top of his head, the last time his fingers surreptitiously wandered over Kayrenn's body in search for injuries. Soon, all too soon, Leyn would know and it would be the end of it all. This transformation was all too much even for Kayrenn, but it would destroy his marriage.

“Kay, where's the blood from, tell me?” Leyn asked. Before he'd rushed off to fetch the healer, the prince had not had the chance to check the specifics of Kayrenn's distress and the source of it, because time had been the essence and Kayrenn had trashed all over. “The healer's coming soon, don't worry, love...” Leyn murmured a litany of comfort to Kay.

“Leyn,” Kayrenn breathed the name out shakily, “there's no putting me to rights, I'm broken...”

Leyn fumbled and despite Kayrenn's protests, was able to uncover his husband's head. In the process, Leyn's hands and arms bumped against the fresh swells of Kayrenn's all-new breasts, ones he had not gone to bed with the night before. It made Kayrenn gasp, as they were sore, gasp amidst the curses of him trying to stop Leyn. Because Leyn couldn't see. Kayrenn had not yet had his share of their last embrace. The last time they held one another before Leyn would never...

“What are?” Leyn asked, trying to pat Kayrenn's new bosom, taking in the slightly narrower features of Kay's face, the panic in forest green eyes, the teeth gnawing a now plumper lower lip. “What on earth is going on?”

Wide green eyes looked at Leyn and Kayrenn ceased all his struggles, there was no point delaying the inevitable. Drawing a deep breath, the red-head let go of all the sheets and blankets in his grasp. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the look, the disgust that would all too soon spread over Leyn's features. Better to have a memory of Leyn's smile, his eyes full of love.

Kayrenn cried as Leyn simply hugged him, not caring that his sore bosom was squished against Leyn's chest as he was enveloped in a tight embrace.

“You're still my Kayrenn?” Leyn asked, whispering into Kayrenn's ear.

“I...” Kayrenn hesitated. “I don't know, I'm so different on the outside. Are you not... disgusted, I'm not the man you married,” he cried onto Leyn's shoulder, his hands clinging to the fabric of Leyn's tunic.

“We'll make sense of it all. Together. I promise.” Leyn assured.

It was all Kayrenn really needed not to go insane. Leyn's love.