ext_158887 ([identity profile] seta-suzume.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] 31_days2012-07-22 09:10 pm

[July 22] [Fullmetal Alchemist] State of Mind

Title: State of Mind
Day/Theme: July 22, 2012 "It was harder to learn to be free"
Series: Fullmetal Alchemist
Character/Pairing: Scar & Dr. Marcoh
Rating: PG


"Do you feel free now?" Marcoh asked him.

It was not an easy question. Scar rubbed his hands over his face and stared out away from the newly rising settlement of building frames and tents toward the miles of lifeless rubble and sand. "No."

"Hmm," the doctor nodded, like he had expected a response of that nature.

"You're right about one part- the "feeling" part. It doesn't matter where I am or how other people see me." He wasn't sure he wanted to admit to Marcoh if he doubted he would ever feel that way. To say so was to expose himself. To show that he was weak.

They weren't close enough for that, he decided, even if Marcoh had gradually become his friend. (If it had been Miles who had asked, would he have felt comfortable enough to reveal the full truth to him?)

They continued to sit together in silence. "I'm not sure I can ever be free," Marcoh said at last, "Getting caught up in all those things. …The wrong things, I suppose. That was so much easier."

It was harder for Scar to draw the same distinction- good or bad- about the things of his own making that ensnared him. Someday he might be able to make that call, but not yet. …Maybe never (when he tried to take a step back from everything he'd done in the wake of the civil war, he didn't like what he saw).

Marcoh was smiling a little for some reason. Did saying that ease the burden on his mind?

"I feel the same," Scar agreed, hoping he would feel just as relieved, "But at least I'm home."