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31_days2012-02-22 11:57 pm
moon-destiny.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2012-02-22 11:57 pm
[Feb. 22] [The Vampire Diaries] Quondam
Title: Quondam
Day/Theme: February 22/ You are ice and the fire of your touch burns my hands like snow
Series: The Vampire Diaries
Character/Pairing: Damon/Elena
Rating: PG
Notes: 'Quondam' means belonging to some prior time and comes from David Foster Wallace's list of dictionary words. Written for samanthaarea, who kindly gave me a prompt on Twitter to use for one of my 31_days.
~
'I kissed Damon.'
That was what she had said to Stefan. Not, 'Damon kissed me,' or 'I kissed Damon back.' The latter two would've implied that she wasn't at fault – that she was merely in Damon's path and let him kiss her like she had no agency or couldn't do anything to stop it.
But to say, 'I kissed Damon' – would just be telling the truth. She hadn't said it to hurt Stefan or to push him further off the cliff of his darkness. She was being truthful because she had wanted Damon to kiss her on some level, had been wanting it for some time now, but never dared to admit it even in the privacy of her mind. It would've felt like it was too soon to move on, like she would've been betraying Stefan somehow even though they weren't together anymore. She had wanted to kiss Damon, not just to reciprocate or as though it was something she was only doing to indulge Damon. Nothing about her life was easy but she didn't want to feel guilty about the good in it. And no matter what happened or what he did, she considered Damon a good thing in her life now.
She had loved Stefan once, and she would look fondly back on those times. But he wasn't the same old Stefan he was a year ago and she had changed as well. They just hadn't changed with each other and their love had fizzled out to a fondness and mere wistfulness for what seemed like simpler times.
It was time to move on.
Day/Theme: February 22/ You are ice and the fire of your touch burns my hands like snow
Series: The Vampire Diaries
Character/Pairing: Damon/Elena
Rating: PG
Notes: 'Quondam' means belonging to some prior time and comes from David Foster Wallace's list of dictionary words. Written for samanthaarea, who kindly gave me a prompt on Twitter to use for one of my 31_days.
~
'I kissed Damon.'
That was what she had said to Stefan. Not, 'Damon kissed me,' or 'I kissed Damon back.' The latter two would've implied that she wasn't at fault – that she was merely in Damon's path and let him kiss her like she had no agency or couldn't do anything to stop it.
But to say, 'I kissed Damon' – would just be telling the truth. She hadn't said it to hurt Stefan or to push him further off the cliff of his darkness. She was being truthful because she had wanted Damon to kiss her on some level, had been wanting it for some time now, but never dared to admit it even in the privacy of her mind. It would've felt like it was too soon to move on, like she would've been betraying Stefan somehow even though they weren't together anymore. She had wanted to kiss Damon, not just to reciprocate or as though it was something she was only doing to indulge Damon. Nothing about her life was easy but she didn't want to feel guilty about the good in it. And no matter what happened or what he did, she considered Damon a good thing in her life now.
She had loved Stefan once, and she would look fondly back on those times. But he wasn't the same old Stefan he was a year ago and she had changed as well. They just hadn't changed with each other and their love had fizzled out to a fondness and mere wistfulness for what seemed like simpler times.
It was time to move on.