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31_days2011-12-28 07:23 pm
seta-suzume.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2011-12-28 07:23 pm
[Dec. 28] [Suikoden III] Love Him and Despair
Title: Love Him and Despair
Day/Theme: Dec. 28, 2011 "I am not what I used to be."
Series: Suikoden III
Character/Pairing: Sasarai & Geddoe
Rating: PG
Author's comment: Present tense, second person pov! >_>; A very post-canon fic.
"His Excellency will see you now," the young cleric announces. He looks scornful and bored at the same time. You are beneath him. Obviously, meeting with you is also a waste of the head bishop's time, but for some reason that most august and holy individual had deigned to set aside a moment to meet with you, an expatriot, unexpected guest. You don't smile (you've never been much the smiling type), but you're amused by the annoyance in the dark-haired, green-eyed youth. Does he realize how much he looks like his revered bishop? (You know he can't possibly be aware that resemblance extends all the way up to the dreaming, cloistered chief priest. Sasarai is the only man living who knows that, aside from yourself.)
You rise up, glad to be off your aching knees. If they're expecting you to prostrate yourself before him, you're turning around and leaving. Kneeling in the hallway was an acceptable evil.
"Your visitor, Your Excellency," the snooty youth informs the bishop of the obvious.
"Thank you," Sasarai says. You don't catch the cleric's name, although Sasarai says it. "You may leave us now." The young cleric is pushed out by Sasarai's gentle admonishments, despite his protests concerning his bishop's safety in the company of such a questionable character (he apologizes- he doesn't mean to suggest that the bishop is weak or unable to take care of himself).
When the two of you are alone, he turns his green eyes on you. "Geddoe, hello. It's been a long time."
You took a gamble coming here. You had friends who snuck you across the border and all the way into the capital. If you had been caught along the way by anyone who recognized your true identity you wouldn't be having this meeting right now. Things could still go sour. But, a long time ago, you knew Sasarai. You worked for him. You even lived alongside him in a long deserted castle. He may not like you or what you've come to see and say, but you don't think he will arrest you. He believes he's a kind man. He wants to be loved, not feared.
"How's the old iron fist doing these days?" you ask him anyway. You are a relic of an age that has passed. He is too, in a way.
"You don't approve of any of this, do you?" he says and lets out a defeated laugh. He was never interested in impressing you and you both know it. He's just too sensitive. He's the type who's hurt inside by small criticisms. You imagine that's the main reason the words of dissidents are never allowed to reach the capital- Sasarai is not afraid of rebels, he has put down enough in his time, and in his father's too, but to hear that his love for his people does not mean he knows what's best for them is enough to break his heart.
"No," you answer, "But I never did. ...I thought you wanted to be different. You didn't want to be like this."
"When one accepts the heavy mantle of governance, one finds oneself doing a many things one never wanted."
He speaks thusly to keep himself at a distance from his failures. He is aware of how weak he truly is. He is not happy with what he has done. Has dissolved a Counsel he despised and become worse than the lot of them together. He is not entirely disconnected from his land and from his people, but aside from that, he is just like his father before him. If you tell him that, will that prove too much?
"You can still step down."
He holds his silence for a painful moment. He is struggling to sort out his complicated feelings. "...Are you suggesting, Geddoe, that you have come to me as the angel of death?"
"Is that someone you would welcome?"
He is conflicted. You are glad of that at least. "Perhaps," he settles for. You know that he means yes.
Day/Theme: Dec. 28, 2011 "I am not what I used to be."
Series: Suikoden III
Character/Pairing: Sasarai & Geddoe
Rating: PG
Author's comment: Present tense, second person pov! >_>; A very post-canon fic.
"His Excellency will see you now," the young cleric announces. He looks scornful and bored at the same time. You are beneath him. Obviously, meeting with you is also a waste of the head bishop's time, but for some reason that most august and holy individual had deigned to set aside a moment to meet with you, an expatriot, unexpected guest. You don't smile (you've never been much the smiling type), but you're amused by the annoyance in the dark-haired, green-eyed youth. Does he realize how much he looks like his revered bishop? (You know he can't possibly be aware that resemblance extends all the way up to the dreaming, cloistered chief priest. Sasarai is the only man living who knows that, aside from yourself.)
You rise up, glad to be off your aching knees. If they're expecting you to prostrate yourself before him, you're turning around and leaving. Kneeling in the hallway was an acceptable evil.
"Your visitor, Your Excellency," the snooty youth informs the bishop of the obvious.
"Thank you," Sasarai says. You don't catch the cleric's name, although Sasarai says it. "You may leave us now." The young cleric is pushed out by Sasarai's gentle admonishments, despite his protests concerning his bishop's safety in the company of such a questionable character (he apologizes- he doesn't mean to suggest that the bishop is weak or unable to take care of himself).
When the two of you are alone, he turns his green eyes on you. "Geddoe, hello. It's been a long time."
You took a gamble coming here. You had friends who snuck you across the border and all the way into the capital. If you had been caught along the way by anyone who recognized your true identity you wouldn't be having this meeting right now. Things could still go sour. But, a long time ago, you knew Sasarai. You worked for him. You even lived alongside him in a long deserted castle. He may not like you or what you've come to see and say, but you don't think he will arrest you. He believes he's a kind man. He wants to be loved, not feared.
"How's the old iron fist doing these days?" you ask him anyway. You are a relic of an age that has passed. He is too, in a way.
"You don't approve of any of this, do you?" he says and lets out a defeated laugh. He was never interested in impressing you and you both know it. He's just too sensitive. He's the type who's hurt inside by small criticisms. You imagine that's the main reason the words of dissidents are never allowed to reach the capital- Sasarai is not afraid of rebels, he has put down enough in his time, and in his father's too, but to hear that his love for his people does not mean he knows what's best for them is enough to break his heart.
"No," you answer, "But I never did. ...I thought you wanted to be different. You didn't want to be like this."
"When one accepts the heavy mantle of governance, one finds oneself doing a many things one never wanted."
He speaks thusly to keep himself at a distance from his failures. He is aware of how weak he truly is. He is not happy with what he has done. Has dissolved a Counsel he despised and become worse than the lot of them together. He is not entirely disconnected from his land and from his people, but aside from that, he is just like his father before him. If you tell him that, will that prove too much?
"You can still step down."
He holds his silence for a painful moment. He is struggling to sort out his complicated feelings. "...Are you suggesting, Geddoe, that you have come to me as the angel of death?"
"Is that someone you would welcome?"
He is conflicted. You are glad of that at least. "Perhaps," he settles for. You know that he means yes.