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31_days2011-02-05 11:59 pm
swollenfoot.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2011-02-05 11:59 pm
[Feb 5][Naruto] Obento <3
Title: Obento ♥
Day / Theme: February 5 / Nails for breakfast, tacks for snacks
Series: Naruto (AU – Konoha ER)
Characters / Pairings: implied Sasusaku, Naruhina, NejiTen, ShikaIno, Kakashi, Gaara, Orochi
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1240
Konoha E.R. was not doing fine that otherwise mild and peaceful February morning. All their beds were filled, but none of the complaints were urgent. However, just comparing the situation to two hours ago with a barely stable transfer of a head injury patient to another hospital, a couple of resuscitations running back to back, and a car-full of sixteen-year-olds drunk on stolen beer and high on a bad batch of weed, and Kakashi felt he was in heaven right then. The crowning jewel of the night was an exceptionally colorful psychotic episode of a frequent flyer, a paranoid schizophrenic who today thought he was a dead man being chased by necrophiliac zombies. Personally, Kakashi thought he wasn’t that bad of a guy without the creepy tongue going on, but then again Orochimaru, aka Mr Rabu-rabu Snakestud, was currently sedated and just recently unrestrained. Now, Kakashi was free to finish reading his steamy bodice ripper without interruption while he sat there and made sure Orochi didn’t go wild again for likely the rest of his shift.
His laidback night was interrupted by urgent calls coming from the direction of the break room. He popped his head out after the noise distracted him from feeling the heart-felt, very public, self-flagellation of the monk for seducing the innocent shepherdess. He saw his colleagues rushing a fallen man from the back of the department. Seeing it didn’t involve two of his co-workers being caught in flagrante delicto, he went back to his book and patted his moaning patient.
“There, there,” he murmured. “I’m disappointed, too.”
It turned out, the circus show was heading his way, anyway. Business like, Tenten strode into the double room to pull out the other stretcher and was followed by Dr Haruno, who was single-handedly pushing a stretcher in. On it, contorted as if he was just unceremoniously swept from the floor and dumped in place, was Kakashi’s young padawan himself, Naruto Uzumaki, RN, sporting an unhealthy shade of bluish gray and looking like a beached fish.
“Don’t tell me,” drawled the charge nurse, Shikamaru Nara, as he came in after, scratching his head, “he really did rub nitro on his lips thinking it was A&D ointment?”
“No,” came Tenten’s response as she pulled her poor colleague to a more dignified position, stuck an oxygen mask to his face, and hooked him up to appropriate wires. “He ate something.”
“Tenten?” Sakura demanded in surprise when the usually exemplary ER nurse reached for the phone instead of the IV basket. “I need a line? And where’s the anaphylaxis kit?”
“I’m calling my husband,” came the dire pronouncement. “I think I know what happened.”
“I wouldn’t mind suing Mr. Personality Uchiha for being a jackass but can we try saving his victim first before lobbying for death penalty?”
Tenten shook her head. “Neji, Neji did this,” she insisted. “I have to find out what poison he used.”
“Poison!?” Sakura exclaimed even as she examined her patient. “Tenten, let’s start with my working diagnosis and give me my IV!”
“I’m doing it already,” grumbled Shikamaru. “Geeze…”
Sakura stood still with her stethoscope in hand for a full 30 seconds, watching as the charge nurse took his sweet time preparing his materials, before she pushed him aside and took over. “I’ll do it!” And even as she stuck the needle in, she gravely stared at her coworker and pronounced in a deathly voice, “This is bad, ladies. We’re going to have to intubate. Get me the RSI kit!”
“N-no…” protested the blond fish in a rasping gasp, thrashing his head empathically. “Nooo…”
Dr. Haruno was rumored to have a bad track record with teeth. “Just checking to see if your airway’s still open. ♥”
“Y…ou e…vi…l… bi… bi-bi…”
“But it won’t stay open if they don’t get the meds in you soon!”
“I have the meds,” came the ungracious reply of a newcomer. “Pipe down and don’t get your panties into a twist, Dr Haruno.”
“Epi first, give it sub-q. You know the drill.” The doctor grabbed the basket and thrust it to Shikamaru. “FYI, Nurse Uchiha, as of 4:37 pm yesterday, you’ve relegated all rights to my underwear, so don’t even make any references to them, buster.”
“That’s never stopped you from dropping them on command, has it?”
“Say that to my face, you insolent sonova—”
“Beg me, sweetheart.”
“As fascinating as all this is,” Shikamaru offered as he gave Naruto the meds. “This may not be the time for it?”
“Cayenne peppers?” Tenten exclaimed. “You put cayenne peppers in the ramen?! Are you sure it’s just that?”
From beside him, Kakashi heard a horrified gasp. “Oh, hi there, Hinata-chan.”
“Oh no, Kakashi-san,” the part-time unit secretary stammered. “The ramen I made him—! Naruto-kun—! He’s not going to die, is he? He’s deathly allergic to cayenne peppers! Oniisan knew that!”
“Hey, Tenten, that hubby of yours is something else,” Kakashi called out into the fray. “How did he manage to know Naruto-kun was flirting up a storm with that radiology tech?”
“Neesan, did Neji-nii really—? But why?”
“Don’t you worry, he’s gonna get it when I get home!” Tenten said reaching for the ambubag. “His sister complex has gone too far this time. This is why poor Hinata-chan has never had a steady boyfriend all her life! He thinks they’re all underserving of her or some bull crap! But cheating, Naruto? You have something else coming, boy!”
“C-cheating? Naruto-kun?”
“See?” Shikamaru told their patient as he hung a bag of IV fluids. “What did I tell you about vindictive women? It’s not worth the trouble wobbling on one boat, let alone straddling two. Haven’t you met my wife Ino?”
“It wasn’t me, Shikamaru-san!”
“Ohoho, so Hinata-chan finally layeth the smacketh down on this cheating bastard, huh?” Sakura declared wrathfully. “Come here, Hinata! You’re gonna help strip him, and he won’t be able to do anything back. It’ll be the best revenge ever!”
“D-doctor Haruno!”
“The cheating bastard better not die,” muttered Sasuke. “We’re already short this week.”
Kakashi sighed as the team did end up having to put a tube down his poor padawan’s throat to help him breath. It’s true that the surest way to a man’s heart was through his stomach, and it’s doubly true for one Naruto Uzumaki. However, it also meant being more vulnerable to poisonings and allergic reactions from jealous women.
The young padawan had lots left to learn still, once he got discharged. It was bad enough that he didn’t have the balls to actually cheat, anyway, and now everyone was mistaking his over-friendliness as him having too much fun.
“Damn it, Sasuke! How can you bump my arm like that?!”
“You asked me to apply pressure—”
“Cricoid pressure, you perverted bastard! Step away from my ass before I stab this down your throat.”
It looked like Sasuke needed to learn to brick his mouth as necessary, too, decided Kakashi with a sigh. There was too much excitement lately because of the on-again, off-again thing between the doctor and the nurse. It was ruining his reading schedule. He’s going to need to do something about it soon. . .
“Where the hell is Gaara? I need him here, right now!”
Ever-superhumanly, the physician assistant was taking care of all the other patients in the department. Kakashi devoutly sent his prayers along even as he returned to his book.
Hang on, Gaara-san!
02052011 23:35
These days, I don’t know what the fudge goes on in my brain anymore… And oh, it's this AU universe. @__@
Day / Theme: February 5 / Nails for breakfast, tacks for snacks
Series: Naruto (AU – Konoha ER)
Characters / Pairings: implied Sasusaku, Naruhina, NejiTen, ShikaIno, Kakashi, Gaara, Orochi
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1240
Konoha E.R. was not doing fine that otherwise mild and peaceful February morning. All their beds were filled, but none of the complaints were urgent. However, just comparing the situation to two hours ago with a barely stable transfer of a head injury patient to another hospital, a couple of resuscitations running back to back, and a car-full of sixteen-year-olds drunk on stolen beer and high on a bad batch of weed, and Kakashi felt he was in heaven right then. The crowning jewel of the night was an exceptionally colorful psychotic episode of a frequent flyer, a paranoid schizophrenic who today thought he was a dead man being chased by necrophiliac zombies. Personally, Kakashi thought he wasn’t that bad of a guy without the creepy tongue going on, but then again Orochimaru, aka Mr Rabu-rabu Snakestud, was currently sedated and just recently unrestrained. Now, Kakashi was free to finish reading his steamy bodice ripper without interruption while he sat there and made sure Orochi didn’t go wild again for likely the rest of his shift.
His laidback night was interrupted by urgent calls coming from the direction of the break room. He popped his head out after the noise distracted him from feeling the heart-felt, very public, self-flagellation of the monk for seducing the innocent shepherdess. He saw his colleagues rushing a fallen man from the back of the department. Seeing it didn’t involve two of his co-workers being caught in flagrante delicto, he went back to his book and patted his moaning patient.
“There, there,” he murmured. “I’m disappointed, too.”
It turned out, the circus show was heading his way, anyway. Business like, Tenten strode into the double room to pull out the other stretcher and was followed by Dr Haruno, who was single-handedly pushing a stretcher in. On it, contorted as if he was just unceremoniously swept from the floor and dumped in place, was Kakashi’s young padawan himself, Naruto Uzumaki, RN, sporting an unhealthy shade of bluish gray and looking like a beached fish.
“Don’t tell me,” drawled the charge nurse, Shikamaru Nara, as he came in after, scratching his head, “he really did rub nitro on his lips thinking it was A&D ointment?”
“No,” came Tenten’s response as she pulled her poor colleague to a more dignified position, stuck an oxygen mask to his face, and hooked him up to appropriate wires. “He ate something.”
“Tenten?” Sakura demanded in surprise when the usually exemplary ER nurse reached for the phone instead of the IV basket. “I need a line? And where’s the anaphylaxis kit?”
“I’m calling my husband,” came the dire pronouncement. “I think I know what happened.”
“I wouldn’t mind suing Mr. Personality Uchiha for being a jackass but can we try saving his victim first before lobbying for death penalty?”
Tenten shook her head. “Neji, Neji did this,” she insisted. “I have to find out what poison he used.”
“Poison!?” Sakura exclaimed even as she examined her patient. “Tenten, let’s start with my working diagnosis and give me my IV!”
“I’m doing it already,” grumbled Shikamaru. “Geeze…”
Sakura stood still with her stethoscope in hand for a full 30 seconds, watching as the charge nurse took his sweet time preparing his materials, before she pushed him aside and took over. “I’ll do it!” And even as she stuck the needle in, she gravely stared at her coworker and pronounced in a deathly voice, “This is bad, ladies. We’re going to have to intubate. Get me the RSI kit!”
“N-no…” protested the blond fish in a rasping gasp, thrashing his head empathically. “Nooo…”
Dr. Haruno was rumored to have a bad track record with teeth. “Just checking to see if your airway’s still open. ♥”
“Y…ou e…vi…l… bi… bi-bi…”
“But it won’t stay open if they don’t get the meds in you soon!”
“I have the meds,” came the ungracious reply of a newcomer. “Pipe down and don’t get your panties into a twist, Dr Haruno.”
“Epi first, give it sub-q. You know the drill.” The doctor grabbed the basket and thrust it to Shikamaru. “FYI, Nurse Uchiha, as of 4:37 pm yesterday, you’ve relegated all rights to my underwear, so don’t even make any references to them, buster.”
“That’s never stopped you from dropping them on command, has it?”
“Say that to my face, you insolent sonova—”
“Beg me, sweetheart.”
“As fascinating as all this is,” Shikamaru offered as he gave Naruto the meds. “This may not be the time for it?”
“Cayenne peppers?” Tenten exclaimed. “You put cayenne peppers in the ramen?! Are you sure it’s just that?”
From beside him, Kakashi heard a horrified gasp. “Oh, hi there, Hinata-chan.”
“Oh no, Kakashi-san,” the part-time unit secretary stammered. “The ramen I made him—! Naruto-kun—! He’s not going to die, is he? He’s deathly allergic to cayenne peppers! Oniisan knew that!”
“Hey, Tenten, that hubby of yours is something else,” Kakashi called out into the fray. “How did he manage to know Naruto-kun was flirting up a storm with that radiology tech?”
“Neesan, did Neji-nii really—? But why?”
“Don’t you worry, he’s gonna get it when I get home!” Tenten said reaching for the ambubag. “His sister complex has gone too far this time. This is why poor Hinata-chan has never had a steady boyfriend all her life! He thinks they’re all underserving of her or some bull crap! But cheating, Naruto? You have something else coming, boy!”
“C-cheating? Naruto-kun?”
“See?” Shikamaru told their patient as he hung a bag of IV fluids. “What did I tell you about vindictive women? It’s not worth the trouble wobbling on one boat, let alone straddling two. Haven’t you met my wife Ino?”
“It wasn’t me, Shikamaru-san!”
“Ohoho, so Hinata-chan finally layeth the smacketh down on this cheating bastard, huh?” Sakura declared wrathfully. “Come here, Hinata! You’re gonna help strip him, and he won’t be able to do anything back. It’ll be the best revenge ever!”
“D-doctor Haruno!”
“The cheating bastard better not die,” muttered Sasuke. “We’re already short this week.”
Kakashi sighed as the team did end up having to put a tube down his poor padawan’s throat to help him breath. It’s true that the surest way to a man’s heart was through his stomach, and it’s doubly true for one Naruto Uzumaki. However, it also meant being more vulnerable to poisonings and allergic reactions from jealous women.
The young padawan had lots left to learn still, once he got discharged. It was bad enough that he didn’t have the balls to actually cheat, anyway, and now everyone was mistaking his over-friendliness as him having too much fun.
“Damn it, Sasuke! How can you bump my arm like that?!”
“You asked me to apply pressure—”
“Cricoid pressure, you perverted bastard! Step away from my ass before I stab this down your throat.”
It looked like Sasuke needed to learn to brick his mouth as necessary, too, decided Kakashi with a sigh. There was too much excitement lately because of the on-again, off-again thing between the doctor and the nurse. It was ruining his reading schedule. He’s going to need to do something about it soon. . .
“Where the hell is Gaara? I need him here, right now!”
Ever-superhumanly, the physician assistant was taking care of all the other patients in the department. Kakashi devoutly sent his prayers along even as he returned to his book.
Hang on, Gaara-san!
02052011 23:35
These days, I don’t know what the fudge goes on in my brain anymore… And oh, it's this AU universe. @__@