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31_days2010-08-30 12:17 pm
in-censors.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2010-08-30 12:17 pm
[August 30] [Super Junior] rue
Title: rue
Day/Theme: August 30 / where people go
Series: Super Junior
Character/Pairing: Sungmin/Ryeowook
Rating: R
Sungmin searched Kyuhyun's body when he saw Ryeowook in the doorway, holding Kyuhyun close to his chest. The blood had dried, by then, and Ryeowook kept pressing kisses across Kyuhyun's cheek, like a sad mother, or a child with a broken doll. When Sungmin had divested Kyuhyun of his clothing and found nothing, Ryeowook only smiled and said, "good boy."
How did that line from the play go again? Rue for you, and for me. He’d let the regret seep into his bones, but he’d learned to rejoice in some parts of it, too.
"What happens now?" Sungmin said, sounding defeated, and Ryeowook tangled his fingers into Kyuhyun's hair, pulling him closer.
"We wait," Ryeowook answered, and it was only then that Sungmin saw the tiredness in Ryeowook's eyes, the strain in his smile.
They’d grown up more than they cared to admit. Weeks ago, Ryeowook would never have believed that Sungmin was capable of irrational extremities, and Sungmin would never have said that he doubted Ryeowook’s judgment more often than not. There were issues they’d left barely patched up, old wounds that stayed and let their better sides stray from reason. When it came down to it, did they learn anything they wanted to take pride in knowing? Sungmin would have more secrets to hide, and Ryeowook would have his fair share of them, too, but Sungmin would carry them longer than Ryeowook ever would. Time meant nothing to him now.
"You know I'd kill for you," Sungmin said, honestly, and Ryeowook shook his head, brushing away the first sign of tears forming at the crease of Sungmin's eyes, water, and nothing else.
"I wouldn't want that," Ryeowook replied, softly, as if afraid to hear something break in Sungmin, but that was impossible because Ryeowook never knew what Sungmin was ever up to until the last minute, when control was out of his grasp and Sungmin had yet to give it up. A dead man, and desperate people -- all these, Ryeowook had yet to come to terms with. There were no honest men left in the world.
They buried Kyuhyun in the backyard. Ryeowook didn’t have the heart to deliver a eulogy, and Sungmin didn’t have less shame to bring himself to do more than watch. There was nothing more to do after digging and laying the body to rest. It was a simple enough process, and Ryeowook resigned himself to the impossibility of remembering Kyuhyun’s face, of preserving his being without immortalizing him with words or pictures. Kyuhyun would stay, and Ryeowook would pack up and never come back. He’d grown tired of wanting to remember things that only brought hurt and no closure, no definite resolution other than death. He’d tried to find something more meaningful in it, but it was not his place to decide on that, nor was it Sungmin’s, or anyone else’s.
Nothing. It was just finished, that was all.
"Let's go home," Ryeowook said, "I'm tired of this."
Sungmin finally said yes.
Day/Theme: August 30 / where people go
Series: Super Junior
Character/Pairing: Sungmin/Ryeowook
Rating: R
Sungmin searched Kyuhyun's body when he saw Ryeowook in the doorway, holding Kyuhyun close to his chest. The blood had dried, by then, and Ryeowook kept pressing kisses across Kyuhyun's cheek, like a sad mother, or a child with a broken doll. When Sungmin had divested Kyuhyun of his clothing and found nothing, Ryeowook only smiled and said, "good boy."
How did that line from the play go again? Rue for you, and for me. He’d let the regret seep into his bones, but he’d learned to rejoice in some parts of it, too.
"What happens now?" Sungmin said, sounding defeated, and Ryeowook tangled his fingers into Kyuhyun's hair, pulling him closer.
"We wait," Ryeowook answered, and it was only then that Sungmin saw the tiredness in Ryeowook's eyes, the strain in his smile.
They’d grown up more than they cared to admit. Weeks ago, Ryeowook would never have believed that Sungmin was capable of irrational extremities, and Sungmin would never have said that he doubted Ryeowook’s judgment more often than not. There were issues they’d left barely patched up, old wounds that stayed and let their better sides stray from reason. When it came down to it, did they learn anything they wanted to take pride in knowing? Sungmin would have more secrets to hide, and Ryeowook would have his fair share of them, too, but Sungmin would carry them longer than Ryeowook ever would. Time meant nothing to him now.
"You know I'd kill for you," Sungmin said, honestly, and Ryeowook shook his head, brushing away the first sign of tears forming at the crease of Sungmin's eyes, water, and nothing else.
"I wouldn't want that," Ryeowook replied, softly, as if afraid to hear something break in Sungmin, but that was impossible because Ryeowook never knew what Sungmin was ever up to until the last minute, when control was out of his grasp and Sungmin had yet to give it up. A dead man, and desperate people -- all these, Ryeowook had yet to come to terms with. There were no honest men left in the world.
They buried Kyuhyun in the backyard. Ryeowook didn’t have the heart to deliver a eulogy, and Sungmin didn’t have less shame to bring himself to do more than watch. There was nothing more to do after digging and laying the body to rest. It was a simple enough process, and Ryeowook resigned himself to the impossibility of remembering Kyuhyun’s face, of preserving his being without immortalizing him with words or pictures. Kyuhyun would stay, and Ryeowook would pack up and never come back. He’d grown tired of wanting to remember things that only brought hurt and no closure, no definite resolution other than death. He’d tried to find something more meaningful in it, but it was not his place to decide on that, nor was it Sungmin’s, or anyone else’s.
Nothing. It was just finished, that was all.
"Let's go home," Ryeowook said, "I'm tired of this."
Sungmin finally said yes.