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31_days2010-08-20 10:08 pm
in-censors.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2010-08-20 10:08 pm
[August 20] [Super Junior] striped carnation
Title: striped carnation
Day/Theme: August 20 / home is where we are not
Series: Super Junior
Character/Pairing: Sungmin/Ryeowook
Rating: T
Let’s work through the facts.
Fact one: there is someone who wants to kill you.
Fact two: there is someone who wants to protect you.
The question is, which one is it?
Ryeowook wrote it down in a notebook he’d found lying around the house. Sungmin had left him alone with Kyuhyun for the better part of the day under the excuse of looking for a plumber, but Ryeowook knew that he’d still felt the awkwardness in their argument. Granted, it was one of Ryeowook’s less lucid moments, but Sungmin’s patience had proved to be limited, and Ryeowook wasn’t sure if he liked this development. They’d had numerous fights over the course of their relationship, but it had never involved insinuations and striking at the parts that would hurt deeper than anything else would.
“Playing the hero, huh?” Ryeowook whispered, pressing his cheek against the paper, “I just want to go home.”
The problem was that there was a disassociation between his reality and his subconscious, apparently. When he’d thought of home, he’d felt the ache in his desire, but when it shifted to Kyuhyun, there was still that same quality of want. Altruism didn’t fit into what he’d intended for Kyuhyun, and if it was simply a gratification of his own ego, well, his consciousness was either doing a very good job at denying it, or he didn’t like how simplistic and self-centered the implications of Sungmin’s words were.
It wasn’t that Sungmin had remained irate at him the entire time. He’d tried to be casual about it, but Ryeowook was stubborn, too, and it took longer for him to forgive and forget, at least on the outside. He’d remained unresponsive even as Sungmin had adopted his soothing tone, his affectionate words.
"I’ll take care of you," Sungmin had said, toying with Ryeowook’s fingers, delight and fascination and morbid curiosity rolled into his frightening tenderness, and all Ryeowook wanted to do was to hit him.
So cruel. So kind. Ryeowook had tried to move his fingers, but it had fallen to his side, limp and sapped of whatever strength he’d had in the sudden rush of adrenaline he’d found, a sliver of striped carnations beginning to crawl out of the tender skin under his nails, drawing some blood.
The wound hadn’t closed up. He inspected it in the dim light, but he could still see the dried blood, specks of brown intermingling with the newer wounds. He would have gone to the bathroom to wash up, but he figured they’d need all the water they could get. He brought his fingers to his mouth. It tasted like dirt and copper.
“Hurry up and finish this,” Ryeowook said out loud, unheard. It was only a matter of weeks – days – before he would see this through the end. He closed the notebook and tucked it under the piles of stationary in the drawer, and when he went out of his room, he’d already had a half-formed suspicion in his mind.
Come.
Day/Theme: August 20 / home is where we are not
Series: Super Junior
Character/Pairing: Sungmin/Ryeowook
Rating: T
Let’s work through the facts.
Fact one: there is someone who wants to kill you.
Fact two: there is someone who wants to protect you.
The question is, which one is it?
Ryeowook wrote it down in a notebook he’d found lying around the house. Sungmin had left him alone with Kyuhyun for the better part of the day under the excuse of looking for a plumber, but Ryeowook knew that he’d still felt the awkwardness in their argument. Granted, it was one of Ryeowook’s less lucid moments, but Sungmin’s patience had proved to be limited, and Ryeowook wasn’t sure if he liked this development. They’d had numerous fights over the course of their relationship, but it had never involved insinuations and striking at the parts that would hurt deeper than anything else would.
“Playing the hero, huh?” Ryeowook whispered, pressing his cheek against the paper, “I just want to go home.”
The problem was that there was a disassociation between his reality and his subconscious, apparently. When he’d thought of home, he’d felt the ache in his desire, but when it shifted to Kyuhyun, there was still that same quality of want. Altruism didn’t fit into what he’d intended for Kyuhyun, and if it was simply a gratification of his own ego, well, his consciousness was either doing a very good job at denying it, or he didn’t like how simplistic and self-centered the implications of Sungmin’s words were.
It wasn’t that Sungmin had remained irate at him the entire time. He’d tried to be casual about it, but Ryeowook was stubborn, too, and it took longer for him to forgive and forget, at least on the outside. He’d remained unresponsive even as Sungmin had adopted his soothing tone, his affectionate words.
"I’ll take care of you," Sungmin had said, toying with Ryeowook’s fingers, delight and fascination and morbid curiosity rolled into his frightening tenderness, and all Ryeowook wanted to do was to hit him.
So cruel. So kind. Ryeowook had tried to move his fingers, but it had fallen to his side, limp and sapped of whatever strength he’d had in the sudden rush of adrenaline he’d found, a sliver of striped carnations beginning to crawl out of the tender skin under his nails, drawing some blood.
The wound hadn’t closed up. He inspected it in the dim light, but he could still see the dried blood, specks of brown intermingling with the newer wounds. He would have gone to the bathroom to wash up, but he figured they’d need all the water they could get. He brought his fingers to his mouth. It tasted like dirt and copper.
“Hurry up and finish this,” Ryeowook said out loud, unheard. It was only a matter of weeks – days – before he would see this through the end. He closed the notebook and tucked it under the piles of stationary in the drawer, and when he went out of his room, he’d already had a half-formed suspicion in his mind.
Come.