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31_days2010-06-08 04:07 pm
annwyd.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2010-06-08 04:07 pm
[June 8] [My-HiME] How You Learn About Desire
Title: How You Learn About Desire
Day/Theme: June 8, "a longing pervades the world"
Series: My-HiME
Character/Pairing: Haruka/Yukino
Rating: PG
When you are small and timid and weak, it would be good if you learned not to want things. This was something Yukino had tried to understand, a long time ago, when she was even smaller and more timid and weaker than she was now. She had even started to succeed, at first. But she had not quite succeeded--no matter how she tried, she felt like she was missing something, and she wanted that empty space to be filled--
But mostly it was easy. It was easy not to want to stand up to the bigger kids on the playground, for example. Until another girl, who was big and bold and strong, stepped in front of Yukino and protected her. And even then, young and not knowing the details, Yukino understood that she wasn't missing something any longer.
Haruka undid all her learning and showed her how to want again. When she was little, Yukino learned how to say without shame, "I want to be with Haruka-chan forever."
But two little girls curled up together grow up, and that same unabashed want grew up with Yukino. It didn't become something new, not at all. But Yukino understood it better, and the understanding made her cheeks burn hot.
On the night of the Tamayura Festival, Yukino stood at Haruka's side and watched everyone else tie ribbons with the names of their desired to the railing. Haruka scowled at them, full of determination to keep the school pristine. It wasn't much of a goal, but Yukino had learned from Haruka that it wasn't what you wanted that mattered, but how passionately and with what strength you pursued it.
Yukino wondered what Haruka would think if she untied a ribbon from the railing and found that it had her name on it. Would she even notice? There was too much chance that she might. Then she would rant, thinking it a joke, and Yukino would have to stifle tears of embarrassment and frustration. It was better if she didn't tie the ribbon. Maybe this way she would learn to stop wanting.
But when she returned home after the festival was over and opened her hand to see the ribbon still there, Yukino knew that if she could really stop wanting, she'd never have written Haruka's name on it in the first place. But Haruka had been too good a teacher, and in the boldness borrowed from her, Yukino had written on the ribbon.
"I want to be with Haruka-chan forever," she said, but this time it was a whisper.
Day/Theme: June 8, "a longing pervades the world"
Series: My-HiME
Character/Pairing: Haruka/Yukino
Rating: PG
When you are small and timid and weak, it would be good if you learned not to want things. This was something Yukino had tried to understand, a long time ago, when she was even smaller and more timid and weaker than she was now. She had even started to succeed, at first. But she had not quite succeeded--no matter how she tried, she felt like she was missing something, and she wanted that empty space to be filled--
But mostly it was easy. It was easy not to want to stand up to the bigger kids on the playground, for example. Until another girl, who was big and bold and strong, stepped in front of Yukino and protected her. And even then, young and not knowing the details, Yukino understood that she wasn't missing something any longer.
Haruka undid all her learning and showed her how to want again. When she was little, Yukino learned how to say without shame, "I want to be with Haruka-chan forever."
But two little girls curled up together grow up, and that same unabashed want grew up with Yukino. It didn't become something new, not at all. But Yukino understood it better, and the understanding made her cheeks burn hot.
On the night of the Tamayura Festival, Yukino stood at Haruka's side and watched everyone else tie ribbons with the names of their desired to the railing. Haruka scowled at them, full of determination to keep the school pristine. It wasn't much of a goal, but Yukino had learned from Haruka that it wasn't what you wanted that mattered, but how passionately and with what strength you pursued it.
Yukino wondered what Haruka would think if she untied a ribbon from the railing and found that it had her name on it. Would she even notice? There was too much chance that she might. Then she would rant, thinking it a joke, and Yukino would have to stifle tears of embarrassment and frustration. It was better if she didn't tie the ribbon. Maybe this way she would learn to stop wanting.
But when she returned home after the festival was over and opened her hand to see the ribbon still there, Yukino knew that if she could really stop wanting, she'd never have written Haruka's name on it in the first place. But Haruka had been too good a teacher, and in the boldness borrowed from her, Yukino had written on the ribbon.
"I want to be with Haruka-chan forever," she said, but this time it was a whisper.