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31_days2010-04-28 02:15 am
lone-wulffe.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2010-04-28 02:15 am
[27 APR] [D.GRAY-MAN] [TO HAVE AND TO HEAL]
Title: To Have and to Heal
Day/Theme: 27th April 2010; I will be your lover and exorcist
Series: D.Gray-man
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Allen, Lenalee; Allen/Lenalee
Rating: G
Notes: Set slightly after events in the flashback scene of Chapter 170. Mild angst.
"Allen-kun?"
She finds him in a dark corner of the library, the second last place she looks, merely sitting on the windowsill and staring blankly at the intricate patterns of the carpeting. It is not until she calls his name a second time that he finally registers her presence and looks up to meet her with a strained, tired smile as he says her name in response by way of acknowledgement.
Lenalee finds that she has come to hate that smile of his.
"I didn't think I'd find you here," she finds herself saying, suddenly at a loss for words now that she's found him.
"It's quiet." A simple answer accompanied by an effortful shrug as grey eyes once again focus on the floor. The silence descends upon them again, plague-like and all-encompassing, and the girl struggles for something - anything - to say to banish it even if for a moment.
"Did you mean it?" The words tumble off her lips before she can stop herself, and panic makes her slap her mouth shut with her hand lest her voice betray her again. But the damage has already been done, and she has gotten his attention now whether she wants it or not.
"Did I mean what?" he intones carefully as he searches her eyes with his own, and she is momentarily distracted by how weary they seem; coupled with his shockingly white hair, it makes him look far too old and far too broken. But in the end, aren't we all broken in our own individual ways?
This time, it is she who lets her gaze drop to the floor, forcing her hand down whereupon her fingers find themselves twisting the fabric of her uniform.
"What you said," Lenalee manages to answer once she has mustered enough courage to pursue the conversation. She started this, after all. "If it ever happens-" she can't bring herself to say it, but he knows what she's talking about anyway "-do you really want us to kill you?" Do you really think I can kill you?
Allen smiles again - that stupid, infuriating smile - as he whispers his answer. "You know you have to."
She looks up and opens her mouth to protest, to scream, something but he continues to speak, cutting her off as he takes his turn avoiding her gaze. "He's getting... stronger." The words feel like claws of ice around her heart and she barely remembers to breathe. "I'm holding on, but the possibility is there."
Before her mind can register it she is already by his side holding his face so he can't look away. "You can't say things like that!" Her voice is raw and her vision is blurred with tears and he is looking at her like he's actually seeing her for the first time. It is in this moment that she feels the damning clutch of certainty in her chest.
She, Lenalee Lee, loves Allen Walker. She is in love with this selfishly selfless boy who has been fashioned by time and ill fate into a martyr, who has bled so much and will bleed even more in the future and yet faces everything with a flaking smile. The revelation is almost heartbreaking.
"We'll find a way," she hears herself saying, her voice a mixture of quiet desperation and steely determination. We have to. Strength comes to her, born from hope and blind faith, and she pushes forward. "Until then, you're not allowed to say something like that ever again." She hesitates for a moment before placing a featherlight kiss on the pentacle that adorns his forehead and pulling back. His cheeks are crimson and she's sure she's not better off, but she scraps up enough leftover courage from that little stunt to finish what she has to say. "I won't let you say something like that ever again," she declares as firmly as she can manage while doing her best to ignore the fact that his gloved hands are now covering her own.
He smiles at her again, but this time it is warmer and more sincere than those faux ones from before. "Okay," he murmurs vaguely, and the girl is not quite sure exactly which part he is agreeing to but she decides she'll settle for what she can get.
"You know..." he starts after a moment of silence - one decidedly more comfortable than its predecessor, "your brother will probably kill me if he finds out about this."
She really shouldn't, she thinks to herself, since it's quite true but she laughs anyway and he nervously joins in a heartbeat later. The girl realizes that in the grand scheme of things she might as well be powerless, but she will be damned if she doesn't try either way.
Day/Theme: 27th April 2010; I will be your lover and exorcist
Series: D.Gray-man
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Allen, Lenalee; Allen/Lenalee
Rating: G
Notes: Set slightly after events in the flashback scene of Chapter 170. Mild angst.
"Allen-kun?"
She finds him in a dark corner of the library, the second last place she looks, merely sitting on the windowsill and staring blankly at the intricate patterns of the carpeting. It is not until she calls his name a second time that he finally registers her presence and looks up to meet her with a strained, tired smile as he says her name in response by way of acknowledgement.
Lenalee finds that she has come to hate that smile of his.
"I didn't think I'd find you here," she finds herself saying, suddenly at a loss for words now that she's found him.
"It's quiet." A simple answer accompanied by an effortful shrug as grey eyes once again focus on the floor. The silence descends upon them again, plague-like and all-encompassing, and the girl struggles for something - anything - to say to banish it even if for a moment.
"Did you mean it?" The words tumble off her lips before she can stop herself, and panic makes her slap her mouth shut with her hand lest her voice betray her again. But the damage has already been done, and she has gotten his attention now whether she wants it or not.
"Did I mean what?" he intones carefully as he searches her eyes with his own, and she is momentarily distracted by how weary they seem; coupled with his shockingly white hair, it makes him look far too old and far too broken. But in the end, aren't we all broken in our own individual ways?
This time, it is she who lets her gaze drop to the floor, forcing her hand down whereupon her fingers find themselves twisting the fabric of her uniform.
"What you said," Lenalee manages to answer once she has mustered enough courage to pursue the conversation. She started this, after all. "If it ever happens-" she can't bring herself to say it, but he knows what she's talking about anyway "-do you really want us to kill you?" Do you really think I can kill you?
Allen smiles again - that stupid, infuriating smile - as he whispers his answer. "You know you have to."
She looks up and opens her mouth to protest, to scream, something but he continues to speak, cutting her off as he takes his turn avoiding her gaze. "He's getting... stronger." The words feel like claws of ice around her heart and she barely remembers to breathe. "I'm holding on, but the possibility is there."
Before her mind can register it she is already by his side holding his face so he can't look away. "You can't say things like that!" Her voice is raw and her vision is blurred with tears and he is looking at her like he's actually seeing her for the first time. It is in this moment that she feels the damning clutch of certainty in her chest.
She, Lenalee Lee, loves Allen Walker. She is in love with this selfishly selfless boy who has been fashioned by time and ill fate into a martyr, who has bled so much and will bleed even more in the future and yet faces everything with a flaking smile. The revelation is almost heartbreaking.
"We'll find a way," she hears herself saying, her voice a mixture of quiet desperation and steely determination. We have to. Strength comes to her, born from hope and blind faith, and she pushes forward. "Until then, you're not allowed to say something like that ever again." She hesitates for a moment before placing a featherlight kiss on the pentacle that adorns his forehead and pulling back. His cheeks are crimson and she's sure she's not better off, but she scraps up enough leftover courage from that little stunt to finish what she has to say. "I won't let you say something like that ever again," she declares as firmly as she can manage while doing her best to ignore the fact that his gloved hands are now covering her own.
He smiles at her again, but this time it is warmer and more sincere than those faux ones from before. "Okay," he murmurs vaguely, and the girl is not quite sure exactly which part he is agreeing to but she decides she'll settle for what she can get.
"You know..." he starts after a moment of silence - one decidedly more comfortable than its predecessor, "your brother will probably kill me if he finds out about this."
She really shouldn't, she thinks to herself, since it's quite true but she laughs anyway and he nervously joins in a heartbeat later. The girl realizes that in the grand scheme of things she might as well be powerless, but she will be damned if she doesn't try either way.