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31_days2010-02-27 01:18 am
lone-wulffe.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2010-02-27 01:18 am
[26 FEB] [D.GRAY-MAN] [AN ADMISSIBLE INTRUSION]
Title: An Admissible Intrusion
Day/Theme: 26th February 2010; the palisade around my heart
Series: D.Gray-man
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Lenalee, Allen, mentions others; Allen/Lenalee
Rating: G
Notes: Probably set during or after the Ark arc. Not timeline-specific, but references the flashback in chapter 69.
Lenalee had a pretty clear picture of her world. If it had a physical equivalent, it would look very much like a large jigsaw puzzle, and everyone would be represented by a piece. There would be small pieces and medium pieces and the really big pieces for the people she held closest to her heart. Her brother was one, as much as his over-protectiveness got to her sometimes. Kanda had his own, and she had to giggle at the fact that even in her jigsaw world her childhood friend never smiled. Lavi, with his crooked grin and practical jokes, had wormed his way into having a sizeable piece for himself as well. Regardless of the size, they would all fit neatly in the frame of aged stone and black cloth, each piece interlocked with another. When someone new came, she would make space for another piece of the puzzle. When someone died, she would cry as she removed the broken piece with trembling fingers before she'd cry some more.
And then Allen Walker had arrived.
At first, she had been happy, and with good reason. New recruits were rare, a new Exorcist even more so. Allen was about her age and nice too, and his humongous appetite as well as sudden rivalry with Kanda (it was something she didn't get; maybe it was a guy thing) brought a certain brightness of sorts to the bleak atmosphere. So she made space in her jigsaw world and placed his piece - always smiling, which contrasted Kanda's glaringly - within the frame.
But things had gotten... complicated after that.
Their first mission together had given her a heady insight into his character. Allen was made of aching gentleness and blind mercy. Allen, no matter what, would always put others before him. Allen, with his cursed left eye - that stupid, accursed left eye she couldn't help but hate - made himself into such a martyr, and she despised that about him. But Allen would not be Allen without his all-encompassing kindess that was so out of place in their world, so it seemed like it was something she would have to live with. Even so, as strong as his powers were, as unbreakable as his will was, she was so very afraid for him because in the end he was just a boy and he was just as human as the rest of them and his noble heart made him even more fragile than all of them combined.
It took Lenalee a while to register how much she's come to care about him in the short time she's known him, and when she did the realization had hit her so hard she had almost physically gasped from the sheer force of it.
It's not fair, she thinks as she stares at his back, broad and weighed down by the troubles he keeps to himself. It's not fair how easily you walked into my heart and act like leaving it isn't going to tear my world down around me.
Of course, the girl has to remind herself, it's not like he knows. She's not entirely sure if she wants him to know; after all, they're in the middle of a war and her feelings - whatever those are - are undeniably out of place amongst the struggling and the fighting. But as he turns to regard her and ask her if she's fine with that warm smile of his, as she feels an unusual sort of fluttering in her chest that she can't quite squash and is almost afraid to identify, Lenalee realizes that she's fine with him being the way he is.
Allen's jigsaw piece occupies a large part of the frame now (heaven forbid if Komui-nii-san ever found out) and somehow she's strangely okay with that. Besides, if she has to - the thought makes her smile wryly - she'll just become strong enough to keep him from disappearing from her world.
Day/Theme: 26th February 2010; the palisade around my heart
Series: D.Gray-man
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Lenalee, Allen, mentions others; Allen/Lenalee
Rating: G
Notes: Probably set during or after the Ark arc. Not timeline-specific, but references the flashback in chapter 69.
Lenalee had a pretty clear picture of her world. If it had a physical equivalent, it would look very much like a large jigsaw puzzle, and everyone would be represented by a piece. There would be small pieces and medium pieces and the really big pieces for the people she held closest to her heart. Her brother was one, as much as his over-protectiveness got to her sometimes. Kanda had his own, and she had to giggle at the fact that even in her jigsaw world her childhood friend never smiled. Lavi, with his crooked grin and practical jokes, had wormed his way into having a sizeable piece for himself as well. Regardless of the size, they would all fit neatly in the frame of aged stone and black cloth, each piece interlocked with another. When someone new came, she would make space for another piece of the puzzle. When someone died, she would cry as she removed the broken piece with trembling fingers before she'd cry some more.
And then Allen Walker had arrived.
At first, she had been happy, and with good reason. New recruits were rare, a new Exorcist even more so. Allen was about her age and nice too, and his humongous appetite as well as sudden rivalry with Kanda (it was something she didn't get; maybe it was a guy thing) brought a certain brightness of sorts to the bleak atmosphere. So she made space in her jigsaw world and placed his piece - always smiling, which contrasted Kanda's glaringly - within the frame.
But things had gotten... complicated after that.
Their first mission together had given her a heady insight into his character. Allen was made of aching gentleness and blind mercy. Allen, no matter what, would always put others before him. Allen, with his cursed left eye - that stupid, accursed left eye she couldn't help but hate - made himself into such a martyr, and she despised that about him. But Allen would not be Allen without his all-encompassing kindess that was so out of place in their world, so it seemed like it was something she would have to live with. Even so, as strong as his powers were, as unbreakable as his will was, she was so very afraid for him because in the end he was just a boy and he was just as human as the rest of them and his noble heart made him even more fragile than all of them combined.
It took Lenalee a while to register how much she's come to care about him in the short time she's known him, and when she did the realization had hit her so hard she had almost physically gasped from the sheer force of it.
It's not fair, she thinks as she stares at his back, broad and weighed down by the troubles he keeps to himself. It's not fair how easily you walked into my heart and act like leaving it isn't going to tear my world down around me.
Of course, the girl has to remind herself, it's not like he knows. She's not entirely sure if she wants him to know; after all, they're in the middle of a war and her feelings - whatever those are - are undeniably out of place amongst the struggling and the fighting. But as he turns to regard her and ask her if she's fine with that warm smile of his, as she feels an unusual sort of fluttering in her chest that she can't quite squash and is almost afraid to identify, Lenalee realizes that she's fine with him being the way he is.
Allen's jigsaw piece occupies a large part of the frame now (heaven forbid if Komui-nii-san ever found out) and somehow she's strangely okay with that. Besides, if she has to - the thought makes her smile wryly - she'll just become strong enough to keep him from disappearing from her world.