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31_days2010-01-08 09:06 pm
swollenfoot.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2010-01-08 09:06 pm
[January 8] [Goong] Half-secrets weigh as much as full ones, if not more
Title: Half-secrets weigh as much as full ones, if not more
Day / Theme: January 8 / we know but in part
Series: Goong
Character: the Queen consort
Rating: G
Word Count: 525
Warning: possible spoilers to later chapters
What should be raucous laughter is achingly sweet to her ears. What should be merely exasperating and amusing, tears at her chest, smarts and lingers like a vicious slap to the face. Her duty might entail chiding the source of the disturbance, but out of selfishness in part, she lets it slide without comment. It shall not last for very long now, and it is better, far better, than what she fears they might do. If the Crown Prince and Princess want to forget their mandated bonds, however briefly, if they want to roll on old snow in the palace courtyard and play tag in the palace sanctums, so be it. They are safe and inconsequential ways to rebel against their destiny.
Bin-goong mama, at the least, would not have to reach the point where it will be her very prison that will hold her erect. There are days, the queen consort feels, that if the palace walls are not there, if her restrictive clothing did not force her spine straight, she will not even be able to raise her head to look at other people. The weight of the world can sit prettily on ones shoulders, but it does not change the insidious havoc it works on body and spirit.
She knows that they know.
She knows that the Bin-goong mama knows that her hand has been forced---and the dagger points to her, for her to be sacrificed in the Royal family’s stead. Bin-goong mama knows there are forces afoot that necessitates abandoning the Prince for his own sake. However, she does not know who the source of disturbance is. She does not know of the snake that slithers placidly amidst their unknowing, vulnerable limbs. She will always think she had failed in something fundamental to her very soul, because quitting is not Shin Chae gyung’s way.
The Seja-Jeoha knows that the Bin-goong mama feels it necessary to leave. And perhaps, what rankles most to him, is that he knows, somehow, that she is doing as she is for his sake and yet he cannot master the constant, hidden fear that she does not love him, as he desperately does. He knows that she cannot tell him, for he will take steps against this threat. However, he does not know what this threat is. He does not know what holds the princess hostage, and he will not move rashly without knowing what she has at stake. He will always think he had failed in protecting his own, in attempting to create his own life even within the regimentation; quitting is not Lee Shin’s way.
The queen consort knows and knowing weighs heavier than all the world combined. Only she knows how worthy Chae gyung of being Crown Princess, that she is Crown Princess beyond the title for willingly wallowing in the dark filth of the Royal family’s secrets. The queen consort knows and she will not tell them. She will not tell them, not because she is queen and she needs to protect her country, but because she is mother and she will protect all these small spaces.
Quitting is not her way.
Day / Theme: January 8 / we know but in part
Series: Goong
Character: the Queen consort
Rating: G
Word Count: 525
Warning: possible spoilers to later chapters
What should be raucous laughter is achingly sweet to her ears. What should be merely exasperating and amusing, tears at her chest, smarts and lingers like a vicious slap to the face. Her duty might entail chiding the source of the disturbance, but out of selfishness in part, she lets it slide without comment. It shall not last for very long now, and it is better, far better, than what she fears they might do. If the Crown Prince and Princess want to forget their mandated bonds, however briefly, if they want to roll on old snow in the palace courtyard and play tag in the palace sanctums, so be it. They are safe and inconsequential ways to rebel against their destiny.
Bin-goong mama, at the least, would not have to reach the point where it will be her very prison that will hold her erect. There are days, the queen consort feels, that if the palace walls are not there, if her restrictive clothing did not force her spine straight, she will not even be able to raise her head to look at other people. The weight of the world can sit prettily on ones shoulders, but it does not change the insidious havoc it works on body and spirit.
She knows that they know.
She knows that the Bin-goong mama knows that her hand has been forced---and the dagger points to her, for her to be sacrificed in the Royal family’s stead. Bin-goong mama knows there are forces afoot that necessitates abandoning the Prince for his own sake. However, she does not know who the source of disturbance is. She does not know of the snake that slithers placidly amidst their unknowing, vulnerable limbs. She will always think she had failed in something fundamental to her very soul, because quitting is not Shin Chae gyung’s way.
The Seja-Jeoha knows that the Bin-goong mama feels it necessary to leave. And perhaps, what rankles most to him, is that he knows, somehow, that she is doing as she is for his sake and yet he cannot master the constant, hidden fear that she does not love him, as he desperately does. He knows that she cannot tell him, for he will take steps against this threat. However, he does not know what this threat is. He does not know what holds the princess hostage, and he will not move rashly without knowing what she has at stake. He will always think he had failed in protecting his own, in attempting to create his own life even within the regimentation; quitting is not Lee Shin’s way.
The queen consort knows and knowing weighs heavier than all the world combined. Only she knows how worthy Chae gyung of being Crown Princess, that she is Crown Princess beyond the title for willingly wallowing in the dark filth of the Royal family’s secrets. The queen consort knows and she will not tell them. She will not tell them, not because she is queen and she needs to protect her country, but because she is mother and she will protect all these small spaces.
Quitting is not her way.