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31_days2009-12-09 05:17 pm
scrie.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2009-12-09 05:17 pm
[December 9][Bleach]The brains of the operation
Title: The brains of the operation
Day/Theme: December 9, 2009 "one last day in the shadows"
Series: Bleach
Character/Pairing: Ayasegawa Yumichika and the 11th division
Rating: PG-13
There was this to be said about the eleventh division: they were thugs, trouble makers and had little regard for any sort of authority that wasn’t Zaraki-taichou, but they were a very closely-knit group. There was an unwritten rule that division members should participate in generic Do Manly Stuff Together activities at least on a weekly basis. And they did so with much enthusiasm, especially since most of the time, this involved beating up some unfortunate member of the fourth division or getting drunk enough to start thinking that trying to flirt with Kurotsuchi Nemu was actually a good idea.
Sometimes though, their antics became surprisingly creative.
There was the Let’s Throw Ourselves an Impromptu Party in the Third Division’s Headquarters business a mere month after Aizen’s betrayal, much to the division’s horror and Kira’s indignant protests. The latter gradually became less indignant throughout the evening, after he had been unceremoniously maneuvered to the head of the table and handed the sort of drink that he could easily imagine, under different circumstances, was used to clean up something corrosive.
A few hours later, he had already earned the slightly inebriated admiration of his guests with his less than slightly inebriated renditions of ‘When I Met Her by the River’, ‘Rukongai Rose’ and ‘Let’s Get Drunk and Fuck All Night’. For a long while afterwards, Kira wondered why members of Zaraki’s division kept waving and grinning when he walked past.
The Let’s Tie and Gag Hisagi and Leave Him Struggling in a Useless Heap on Matsumoto’s Doorstep mission had been an act of kindness, really. To everyone in Seireitei, it was quickly becoming clear that the only people not aware that Hisagi had a crush on Matsumoto were Hisagi and Matsumoto. This gave the eleventh division, along with Iba, Renji and occasionally Komamura collective urges to bang their heads against walls as they watched him fail to talk to her in coherent sentences while sober. Matsumoto was friendly and expansive around him, just as she was around anyone else, but it started to dawn on them that Hisagi might be altogether too emotionally stunted for someone with a sexual suggestion tattooed on his face.
Two days later, they congratulated eachother on a job well done when a flustered, happy and slightly worn out Hisagi offered to buy drinks for the entire division.
Three days later, they decided never to bring it up again when Captain Hitsugaya threatened to do something terminally interesting to whoever knew anything at all about why he’d found the two vice-captains half naked and slumped in that position all over his desk the previous morning.
Operation I Dare You to Smuggle Some of Captain Ukitake’s Cough Medicine out of His Private Stock and Drink It (I Hear It’s Really Just Expensive Booze) had not been a success. This wasn’t because those annoying third seats of his had decided to rush into the room screaming like lunatics just as the men were trying to sneak out. Nor was it because Captain Ukitake had shown up a moment later, a little sleepy but polite and good natured as ever, and offered to provide them with a few bottles himself if they promised to go home without causing a commotion and waking his subordinates.
In the end, it was because those who passed them round had collapsed like infants and had to be transported en masse to the fourth division, where Captain Unohana had laughed discreetly, but rather at length, before treating them.
And if someone occasionally voiced their curiosity about the author of these uncharacteristically creative plots, they would find the eleventh division can be struck by cases of spontaneous amnesia in a hurry. The truth is that they would (provided they had no use for their arms, and possibly other appendages) point incriminating fingers at Ayasegawa Yumichika, who would sit quietly at the back of the room and examine the state of his nails.
To anyone asking, he would deny everything on the grounds of it being immature and rather tasteless.
To subordinates pointing out that people on the receiving end of Yumichika’s elaborate pranks might get angry and maybe try to hurt them, he would simply say, ‘Look, it’s either them or me, OK?’
Day/Theme: December 9, 2009 "one last day in the shadows"
Series: Bleach
Character/Pairing: Ayasegawa Yumichika and the 11th division
Rating: PG-13
There was this to be said about the eleventh division: they were thugs, trouble makers and had little regard for any sort of authority that wasn’t Zaraki-taichou, but they were a very closely-knit group. There was an unwritten rule that division members should participate in generic Do Manly Stuff Together activities at least on a weekly basis. And they did so with much enthusiasm, especially since most of the time, this involved beating up some unfortunate member of the fourth division or getting drunk enough to start thinking that trying to flirt with Kurotsuchi Nemu was actually a good idea.
Sometimes though, their antics became surprisingly creative.
There was the Let’s Throw Ourselves an Impromptu Party in the Third Division’s Headquarters business a mere month after Aizen’s betrayal, much to the division’s horror and Kira’s indignant protests. The latter gradually became less indignant throughout the evening, after he had been unceremoniously maneuvered to the head of the table and handed the sort of drink that he could easily imagine, under different circumstances, was used to clean up something corrosive.
A few hours later, he had already earned the slightly inebriated admiration of his guests with his less than slightly inebriated renditions of ‘When I Met Her by the River’, ‘Rukongai Rose’ and ‘Let’s Get Drunk and Fuck All Night’. For a long while afterwards, Kira wondered why members of Zaraki’s division kept waving and grinning when he walked past.
The Let’s Tie and Gag Hisagi and Leave Him Struggling in a Useless Heap on Matsumoto’s Doorstep mission had been an act of kindness, really. To everyone in Seireitei, it was quickly becoming clear that the only people not aware that Hisagi had a crush on Matsumoto were Hisagi and Matsumoto. This gave the eleventh division, along with Iba, Renji and occasionally Komamura collective urges to bang their heads against walls as they watched him fail to talk to her in coherent sentences while sober. Matsumoto was friendly and expansive around him, just as she was around anyone else, but it started to dawn on them that Hisagi might be altogether too emotionally stunted for someone with a sexual suggestion tattooed on his face.
Two days later, they congratulated eachother on a job well done when a flustered, happy and slightly worn out Hisagi offered to buy drinks for the entire division.
Three days later, they decided never to bring it up again when Captain Hitsugaya threatened to do something terminally interesting to whoever knew anything at all about why he’d found the two vice-captains half naked and slumped in that position all over his desk the previous morning.
Operation I Dare You to Smuggle Some of Captain Ukitake’s Cough Medicine out of His Private Stock and Drink It (I Hear It’s Really Just Expensive Booze) had not been a success. This wasn’t because those annoying third seats of his had decided to rush into the room screaming like lunatics just as the men were trying to sneak out. Nor was it because Captain Ukitake had shown up a moment later, a little sleepy but polite and good natured as ever, and offered to provide them with a few bottles himself if they promised to go home without causing a commotion and waking his subordinates.
In the end, it was because those who passed them round had collapsed like infants and had to be transported en masse to the fourth division, where Captain Unohana had laughed discreetly, but rather at length, before treating them.
And if someone occasionally voiced their curiosity about the author of these uncharacteristically creative plots, they would find the eleventh division can be struck by cases of spontaneous amnesia in a hurry. The truth is that they would (provided they had no use for their arms, and possibly other appendages) point incriminating fingers at Ayasegawa Yumichika, who would sit quietly at the back of the room and examine the state of his nails.
To anyone asking, he would deny everything on the grounds of it being immature and rather tasteless.
To subordinates pointing out that people on the receiving end of Yumichika’s elaborate pranks might get angry and maybe try to hurt them, he would simply say, ‘Look, it’s either them or me, OK?’