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31_days2009-11-17 11:55 pm
kirasbeloved.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2009-11-17 11:55 pm
[11-17-09, Original] Tell Me It's Just A Dream....
Title: Tell Me It's Just A Dream....
Day/Theme: November 17/Before I doubt my Memories, my Memories doubt Me....
Series: Original Story
Character/Pairing: Kira Haruka KunikoxMamoru Takumi Sora, Mentions of an Unknown Rapist
Rating: PG-13 to R, I suppose.... Nothing really Graphic, though....
A/N: This is in Kira's P.O.V.
It feels like eternity since I last slept. Everytime I lay my head on that pillow and close my eyes, I see....him.... He's covered in some thick, liquidy red substance that I believe to be blood....His Blood.... His eyes are open wide -So wide in fact, that I could see the little bit of blue that hides within his black eyes- and glazed over.... 'Why doesn't he blink his eyes?' And then suddenly I appear in the Picture.... There's anger in my eyes. So much anger, coldness, that I can barely recognize myself and my heart nearly stops beating at the sight of me. Clutched in my right hand is a large knife, one that I quickly notice is covered with the same red, liquidy substance that covers him.... 'But why? Why would I have a knife? Why would I look so mad? Why-'
My questions cease as 'I' begin to speak. "Mamoru, you told me you'd be there for me whenever I needed you.... You said that you would protect me no matter what.... Then why weren't you there that night?! Why did you let him do....that....to me?! WHY?! You know, I just knew it, Mamoru.... I knew you didn't care about me! So why did you lie to me? Why....?"
The Scene always fades there. I don't really know why, but it scares me that I can't make any sense of this....But I do find some Comfort in knowing that I remember some of the things mentioned in this 'Dream' did actually happen.... Like that night, after the dance, when Mamoru and I had walked down to the Lake.... We had sat on the damp grass nearby the lake and we were both gazing up at the star-filled sky above us. "Kira-Chan....," he had whispered in to my ear, as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. "Yes, Mamoru-Kun?" I had asked, snuggiling up against him. "Kira, I promise this to you.... I'll stand by your side no matter what. I'll always protect you...." I smiled as his soft, warm lips met my own....and the moment seemed to last forever, though in reality it had only been a few seconds....
Of course, I remembered the Party a few months ago, as well.... I couldn't really remember all the details, but I do remember that there was a man who wore a long, thick black cloak and a black mask that covered his face.... My 'Friends' told me to follow him, that he wanted to show me something.... So I followed him up to a room that had nothing in it but an old rusty bed....And then things started happening in a blur.... The door was shut and locked, a rag with some liquid on it was placed over my nose and mouth. I tried to scream and struggle, but I soon found myself too weak to even move a finger. My vision was beginning to become hazy and I barely felt anything as I was thrown on to the bed. The last thing I remember is the scent of beer on his breath as he dipped his head down to whisper something I couldn't understand in to my ear.... And before darkness came over me, I suddenly realized that Mamoru had broken his promise.... He wasn't there to protect me when I needed him there the most....
But what of this 'Dream'? I-it seems too real to be a Dream, but I don't remember this happening.... This couldn't happen....Right? I-I feel so confused. Everytime I feel like I'm getting close to the answer, the answer seems to fly away, just out of grasp. It's almost like my mind is trying to keep me from finding the Truth. It almost seems to me, too, that before I doubt my memories, my memories doubt me....Because everytime I see a glimpse of the past, I have no time to analyze it for answers fore it's gone before I even realize it's there....
And so the Questions still remain: "Am I innocent, or am I Guilty? Am I his Lover....or his Murderer?"
Day/Theme: November 17/Before I doubt my Memories, my Memories doubt Me....
Series: Original Story
Character/Pairing: Kira Haruka KunikoxMamoru Takumi Sora, Mentions of an Unknown Rapist
Rating: PG-13 to R, I suppose.... Nothing really Graphic, though....
A/N: This is in Kira's P.O.V.
It feels like eternity since I last slept. Everytime I lay my head on that pillow and close my eyes, I see....him.... He's covered in some thick, liquidy red substance that I believe to be blood....His Blood.... His eyes are open wide -So wide in fact, that I could see the little bit of blue that hides within his black eyes- and glazed over.... 'Why doesn't he blink his eyes?' And then suddenly I appear in the Picture.... There's anger in my eyes. So much anger, coldness, that I can barely recognize myself and my heart nearly stops beating at the sight of me. Clutched in my right hand is a large knife, one that I quickly notice is covered with the same red, liquidy substance that covers him.... 'But why? Why would I have a knife? Why would I look so mad? Why-'
My questions cease as 'I' begin to speak. "Mamoru, you told me you'd be there for me whenever I needed you.... You said that you would protect me no matter what.... Then why weren't you there that night?! Why did you let him do....that....to me?! WHY?! You know, I just knew it, Mamoru.... I knew you didn't care about me! So why did you lie to me? Why....?"
The Scene always fades there. I don't really know why, but it scares me that I can't make any sense of this....But I do find some Comfort in knowing that I remember some of the things mentioned in this 'Dream' did actually happen.... Like that night, after the dance, when Mamoru and I had walked down to the Lake.... We had sat on the damp grass nearby the lake and we were both gazing up at the star-filled sky above us. "Kira-Chan....," he had whispered in to my ear, as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. "Yes, Mamoru-Kun?" I had asked, snuggiling up against him. "Kira, I promise this to you.... I'll stand by your side no matter what. I'll always protect you...." I smiled as his soft, warm lips met my own....and the moment seemed to last forever, though in reality it had only been a few seconds....
Of course, I remembered the Party a few months ago, as well.... I couldn't really remember all the details, but I do remember that there was a man who wore a long, thick black cloak and a black mask that covered his face.... My 'Friends' told me to follow him, that he wanted to show me something.... So I followed him up to a room that had nothing in it but an old rusty bed....And then things started happening in a blur.... The door was shut and locked, a rag with some liquid on it was placed over my nose and mouth. I tried to scream and struggle, but I soon found myself too weak to even move a finger. My vision was beginning to become hazy and I barely felt anything as I was thrown on to the bed. The last thing I remember is the scent of beer on his breath as he dipped his head down to whisper something I couldn't understand in to my ear.... And before darkness came over me, I suddenly realized that Mamoru had broken his promise.... He wasn't there to protect me when I needed him there the most....
But what of this 'Dream'? I-it seems too real to be a Dream, but I don't remember this happening.... This couldn't happen....Right? I-I feel so confused. Everytime I feel like I'm getting close to the answer, the answer seems to fly away, just out of grasp. It's almost like my mind is trying to keep me from finding the Truth. It almost seems to me, too, that before I doubt my memories, my memories doubt me....Because everytime I see a glimpse of the past, I have no time to analyze it for answers fore it's gone before I even realize it's there....
And so the Questions still remain: "Am I innocent, or am I Guilty? Am I his Lover....or his Murderer?"