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31_days2009-09-16 10:39 am
seta-suzume.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2009-09-16 10:39 am
[Sept. 16] [Brendan and the Secret of Kells] Living is Penance
Title: Living is Penance
Day/Theme: Sept. 16, 2009 "miss you quite terribly"
Series: Brendan and the Secret of Kells
Character/Pairing: Caellach, Brendan
Rating: PG
Abbot Caellach had struggled with himself that first desolate night after Kells had burned. With all his many years of hard work swept away in mere minutes, and so many innocent lives lost, including that most precious to him, he wasn't sure he had the will to live any longer. Brendan had been dependent on him for guidance and protection and he had failed him. Had he been too hard on the boy? It would've been so easy to give up the struggle then and let the Lord decide how he would be judged for his grand dreams gone awry.
But death was the way of the coward and repentance the only hope for a sinner. There others remaining, townsfolk and brothers, who still needed him. And Caellach was not a quitter. He had gotten this far in life through a sturdy combination of patience, faith, and determination. So he rallied his strength to put his all into recovering. If he didn't lead these remnants, who would? His journey through life would continue on a while yet, he hoped.
And to the great relief of his people, he did not mend, though he would never again attain the physical strength he had possessed before that allowed him to lift the heavy stones that grew one by one into a magnificent wall. What he did have was good enough to preach and to command. He thought of his newly feeble body as punishment for the pride that had made him believe he could hold back the Norsmen where so many others had failed. Caellach had been stern before, but now he went about his work cloaked in somber resignation. It frightened the brothers, the way his fiery temper appeared to have burnt out completely. Their abbot had been scarred irreparably. He was not the same man he had been before the raid.
And though he spoke of Brendan little, partially to minimize the regret and sorrow felt by his colleagues, Caellach thought of him frequently, daily. He kept the beautiful design Brendan had painted folded up within his pocket everyday and cautiously opened it to gaze upon its near-perfection each night before he said his evening prayers. Why hadn't he seen that Brendan had a gift? It was so easy to second guess oneself after the fact. But there was nothing he could do. He had loved that boy like a son. He would've grown up to be a fine man. And maybe even a fine abbot.
Caellach put the page away. He couldn't afford to let any tears stain it. "Oh, Brendan," he sobbed. He had never felt so alone.
Day/Theme: Sept. 16, 2009 "miss you quite terribly"
Series: Brendan and the Secret of Kells
Character/Pairing: Caellach, Brendan
Rating: PG
Abbot Caellach had struggled with himself that first desolate night after Kells had burned. With all his many years of hard work swept away in mere minutes, and so many innocent lives lost, including that most precious to him, he wasn't sure he had the will to live any longer. Brendan had been dependent on him for guidance and protection and he had failed him. Had he been too hard on the boy? It would've been so easy to give up the struggle then and let the Lord decide how he would be judged for his grand dreams gone awry.
But death was the way of the coward and repentance the only hope for a sinner. There others remaining, townsfolk and brothers, who still needed him. And Caellach was not a quitter. He had gotten this far in life through a sturdy combination of patience, faith, and determination. So he rallied his strength to put his all into recovering. If he didn't lead these remnants, who would? His journey through life would continue on a while yet, he hoped.
And to the great relief of his people, he did not mend, though he would never again attain the physical strength he had possessed before that allowed him to lift the heavy stones that grew one by one into a magnificent wall. What he did have was good enough to preach and to command. He thought of his newly feeble body as punishment for the pride that had made him believe he could hold back the Norsmen where so many others had failed. Caellach had been stern before, but now he went about his work cloaked in somber resignation. It frightened the brothers, the way his fiery temper appeared to have burnt out completely. Their abbot had been scarred irreparably. He was not the same man he had been before the raid.
And though he spoke of Brendan little, partially to minimize the regret and sorrow felt by his colleagues, Caellach thought of him frequently, daily. He kept the beautiful design Brendan had painted folded up within his pocket everyday and cautiously opened it to gaze upon its near-perfection each night before he said his evening prayers. Why hadn't he seen that Brendan had a gift? It was so easy to second guess oneself after the fact. But there was nothing he could do. He had loved that boy like a son. He would've grown up to be a fine man. And maybe even a fine abbot.
Caellach put the page away. He couldn't afford to let any tears stain it. "Oh, Brendan," he sobbed. He had never felt so alone.