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31_days2009-08-29 04:32 pm
ladyairy.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2009-08-29 04:32 pm
[August 29] [Sweeney Todd] Possession
Title: Possession
Day/Theme: August 29: all my innocence is wasted on the dead and dreaming
Series: Sweeney Todd
Character/Pairing: Johanna, Anthony
Rating: PG-13
Johanna thinks of herself as a quick study, but this is not strictly true. She can learn and adapt, but it is always more challenging than she expects- and old habits do die hard, much to her frustration.
She wants nothing more than to be the wife that Anthony deserves, but all she ever seems to do is cause trouble for him. They never speak of it, but Johanna feels it instinctively in every awkward pause caused by her confusion at dinner parties, in the way other men's wives purse their lips at her when she forgets to compliment them, and most of all, in what she has come to recognize as lascivious stares from her husband's subordinates.
Johanna is not foolish enough to believe that every man wants her, but enough do to make Anthony more than a little uncomfortable. Of course, he admits to her, he was never entirely comfortable with the crude way his fellows discussed women in front of him.
Yet again, she wonders, how was she ever so lucky to be found by a man as innocent as Anthony Hope? Guilt creeps over her as she knows in her bones that she is doomed to take his innocence away from him bit by bit.
It is a long time before she can be properly comfortable at large gatherings. She used to alternate between wanting to be invisible and wanting to stand up and scream until her voice faded away into nothing.
Anthony is the only one she can trust to put up with her moods. He is the most precious thing in the world, and she kisses him with this in mind. But Johanna knows by the way he grips her shoulders as he presses her to the bed that he feels the glances of other men as surely as her.
Remembering this, she forces herself to speak to the ones whose glances linger on her form. She makes conversation with them, and it is never awkward because they are not interested enough in her face to notice that her heart is not in it. Johanna smiles because she can feel her husband's eyes piercing wounds into their hearts.
It is not her intention to be cruel. She is more affectionate with Anthony than before- when they are alone, since she still feels uncomfortable with much more than walking with her arm in his in company. Johanna has never had anyone who she wanted to show her love to since- well, she does not think about that. All happy memories of childhood have been tainted by what came after.
Which isn't to say that when she brushes Anthony's blond hair behind his ears that she is driven to think of the Judge at all. The two could not be further apart in their treatment of her.
After all, Anthony is always bringing her out to events and hoping she will make friends with this woman, that couple, that older man- it makes her feel even guiltier to abuse his good will by paying more attention to the men mostly likely to arouse his jealousy.
But it is worth it in the end, to remind him that she is precious. Johanna learned to sin from the best of them- or the worst. She fears hell less than she fears losing her husband.
Now that Anthony is a captain, he has more autonomy over his travels, and she uses that to her advantage. She reassures herself that nothing she has seen of the other captain's wives suggests that they do otherwise.
In fact, she learns by example. Her eyes and ears are always wide open and intent.
Most of it comes naturally- Johanna likes touching her husband, and she is not so comfortable anywhere as in his embrace. Which is only reasonable- if it were otherwise, she would not endeavor to direct him towards the shortest journeys, nor persuade him to bring her on his longer travels.
She hears of more outlandish tricks from less than reputable sources- the advantage of being acquainted with many sailors. But Johanna has never had to resort to anything she honestly found shameful to make her husband burn for her when he is away. It helps that she knows Anthony does not take his pleasure with other women in foreign ports like his companions.
When Johanna was a child, she had possessed the romantic notion that she would die with the man she married. It is no longer a flowery ideal- it has become a comforting conviction. He is hers and she is his.
Day/Theme: August 29: all my innocence is wasted on the dead and dreaming
Series: Sweeney Todd
Character/Pairing: Johanna, Anthony
Rating: PG-13
Johanna thinks of herself as a quick study, but this is not strictly true. She can learn and adapt, but it is always more challenging than she expects- and old habits do die hard, much to her frustration.
She wants nothing more than to be the wife that Anthony deserves, but all she ever seems to do is cause trouble for him. They never speak of it, but Johanna feels it instinctively in every awkward pause caused by her confusion at dinner parties, in the way other men's wives purse their lips at her when she forgets to compliment them, and most of all, in what she has come to recognize as lascivious stares from her husband's subordinates.
Johanna is not foolish enough to believe that every man wants her, but enough do to make Anthony more than a little uncomfortable. Of course, he admits to her, he was never entirely comfortable with the crude way his fellows discussed women in front of him.
Yet again, she wonders, how was she ever so lucky to be found by a man as innocent as Anthony Hope? Guilt creeps over her as she knows in her bones that she is doomed to take his innocence away from him bit by bit.
It is a long time before she can be properly comfortable at large gatherings. She used to alternate between wanting to be invisible and wanting to stand up and scream until her voice faded away into nothing.
Anthony is the only one she can trust to put up with her moods. He is the most precious thing in the world, and she kisses him with this in mind. But Johanna knows by the way he grips her shoulders as he presses her to the bed that he feels the glances of other men as surely as her.
Remembering this, she forces herself to speak to the ones whose glances linger on her form. She makes conversation with them, and it is never awkward because they are not interested enough in her face to notice that her heart is not in it. Johanna smiles because she can feel her husband's eyes piercing wounds into their hearts.
It is not her intention to be cruel. She is more affectionate with Anthony than before- when they are alone, since she still feels uncomfortable with much more than walking with her arm in his in company. Johanna has never had anyone who she wanted to show her love to since- well, she does not think about that. All happy memories of childhood have been tainted by what came after.
Which isn't to say that when she brushes Anthony's blond hair behind his ears that she is driven to think of the Judge at all. The two could not be further apart in their treatment of her.
After all, Anthony is always bringing her out to events and hoping she will make friends with this woman, that couple, that older man- it makes her feel even guiltier to abuse his good will by paying more attention to the men mostly likely to arouse his jealousy.
But it is worth it in the end, to remind him that she is precious. Johanna learned to sin from the best of them- or the worst. She fears hell less than she fears losing her husband.
Now that Anthony is a captain, he has more autonomy over his travels, and she uses that to her advantage. She reassures herself that nothing she has seen of the other captain's wives suggests that they do otherwise.
In fact, she learns by example. Her eyes and ears are always wide open and intent.
Most of it comes naturally- Johanna likes touching her husband, and she is not so comfortable anywhere as in his embrace. Which is only reasonable- if it were otherwise, she would not endeavor to direct him towards the shortest journeys, nor persuade him to bring her on his longer travels.
She hears of more outlandish tricks from less than reputable sources- the advantage of being acquainted with many sailors. But Johanna has never had to resort to anything she honestly found shameful to make her husband burn for her when he is away. It helps that she knows Anthony does not take his pleasure with other women in foreign ports like his companions.
When Johanna was a child, she had possessed the romantic notion that she would die with the man she married. It is no longer a flowery ideal- it has become a comforting conviction. He is hers and she is his.