Personal Torment

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Title: Personal Torment
Day/Theme: September 16^th: Older ghosts
Series: Harry Potter
Character/Pairing: Snape / OC Felicity Karne
Rating: G suitable for all audiences.
Author’s Note: What if Snape wasn’t a traitor?

 

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On the eve after Dumbledore’s funeral, a visitor enters an ancient English castle. An approaching storm added to the turmoil in the air. In a lantern lit hall, through a door came a short stout woman dressed in a nurses uniform. Her poppy eyes of brown had seen many things through her long career, yet remained perplexed upon the sight in the room she’d left.

 

“How is he,” asked a slender woman with porcelain skin, and long red tresses to her knees.

 

“He’s resting. He’s falling apart emotionally,” the nurse answered.

 

“Give him this sleeping draught, Demelza.”

 

“Lady Felicity, I think he needs more help than this. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed,” she lowered her voice not to be heard by anyone else, “and he’s crying and shaking. I can’t stop him, my Lady.”

 

Lady Felicity of Karne Castle turned, placing her hand on the brass doorknob to enter his room.

 

“My Lady, no,” said the nurse with widened eyes.

 

“It’s all right. I’ve known him for years, Demelza. Go to bed for the night,” she waved her hand for the nurse to leave as she slowly opened the door to the suffering man’s room.

 

Through the veil of darkness before her, barely audible sobbing could be heard. She stood in front of the closed door as her eyes adjusted to her shadowed surroundings, noticing a denser black outline directly in front of her.

 

“Severus, dear Severus, it’s me Felicity,” she said in warm whispered tones.

 

Through the darkness, a low voice resonated.

 

“What do you want? Can’t you leave me be? Please,” he begged.

 

She took a few steps towards his now visible form. The moonlight spilled through the bedroom window playing on his ashen face. 

 

“What’s troubling you? I want to help you, Severus,” she chanced sitting next to him on the bed; to her relief he stayed.

 

“You don’t understand, Felicity, you can’t help me. It’s too late, he’s dead,” Severus began to weep as if he would die. He leaned forward with his head in his hands, sobbing harder.

 

Feeling shattered herself from the sight of her dear friend in such turmoil she felt the need to comfort him.

 

“I’ve never seen you like this. What’s happened?”

 

He pulled out his wand; said, ‘lumos’, its light reflected off her porcelain face, and glimmering sapphire eyes, which held tears.

 

“I killed him!” he spat back, shaking.

 

“Killed who?” she asked softly.

 

“The only one that I loved like a father. The only one who understood me and loved me back. The only one who trusted me. I killed Dumbledore,” his chin quivered as the words left his lips, and his eyes closed tightly, showing his pain.

 

Felicity gasped, for she knew Dumbledore. Her father introduced her to him the same time she met Severus. He’d stay in their castle when in town visiting. A kind old man she always thought. Severus was with him on several of his visits and seemed taken with the fair Felicity.  Why and how her father knew Dumbledore and Severus remained a deep mystery.

 

“Young ladies never meddle in their father’s affairs my dear,” he would always say.

 

The years past and her father died. She remained their alone living in their castle owned by her family for generations.

 

“Surely not,” she raised her hand to her mouth muffling a loud cry, as she burst into tears.

 

“You didn’t – tell me you didn’t – Severus,” she closed her streaming eyes.

 

A white flash filled the room; lighting lit the midnight sky and thunder crashed through the heavens.

 

“Why?” she asked him.

 

“Because of an oath. An oath I wish I never made,” he whispered.

 

“I can’t believe you would do this. I had so much faith in you. I never thought you could do such a thing.”

 

Severus looked upon her twisted and saddened face. How it mirrored his feelings. Oh, how everything appeared to blur the edge of reality. How his mind drifted to the vision of Dumbledore in his coffin.

 

Felicity knew this man before her. She knew his heart, and how he loved Dumbledore. She knew something dreadful would only have led him to this. She felt his pain, and knew his sincerity.

 

Severus needed to talk. He needed to purge old ghosts and new. He felt he’d fly apart if not.

 

“I remember his face as he lay in his coffin. The same wisdom emanated from him. I looked through the crowd, upon the many faces of hatred populating the area. Each wanting to murder me. Yet, nobody could see me shrouded through an invisibility cloak. Nobody knows my pain. How I suffer, and never wanted to do it. How I fought with the Dark Lord not to take the oath privately. How I tried to convince him there could be a better way. Nothing worked and finally I told Dumbledore. He trusted me. He trusted I would do the right thing.”

 

Felicity swallowed hard, not knowing who this Dark Lord was, yet she listened to Severus’s every troubled word.

 

“What would happen if you didn’t fulfill the oath?”

 

“Voldemort would kill me, and Draco, the boy I took the vow for, he’d be killed too.”

 

 

Felicity took a deep breath letting it out in a sigh trying to understand all he said.

 

“It’s simple then. Dumbledore protected you. He didn’t want you killed. He wanted the boy to be saved too, I’ll bet.”

 

“Yes, even in the end when the boy threatened to kill him he spoke well of him. His manners were perfect,” Severus’s eyes welled with tears again. Crying was new to Severus Snape. He hadn’t allowed anything to penetrate his thick skin since a child; he bottled all feelings up tightly. Now, they exploded to the surface in torrents of profound tears.

 

“I don’t expect a muggle to understand all of this,” he said a bit sharp.

 

“A muggle? I’ve heard my father speak with Dumbledore about them. What’s a muggle?” she asked, her eyes narrowed in interest.

 

“What you are. People without magic,” Severus saw the change of expression spread over her face.

 

“I know what you are Severus. I know you’re a wizard, and so was Dumbledore.”

 

Severus looked a little surprised of how direct she was.

 

“ I mean, don’t you think that bit with the wand would have scared me off by now, if I didn’t know? That’s all I know, though. What I’ve overheard and what slipped out from my father. Why did Dumbledore and you always come to see my father?”

 

Severus began to calm down a bit, stood up, and lit a lantern on the side table sitting by the bed. He sat down beside her again, and explained.

 

“The wizard I spoke of, Dark Lord; he’s a threat to all. Dumbledore was gathering information about him. He’d been doing this for years. Your father owned something the Dark Lord wanted.”

 

“Let me guess, the statue he found in Karnack, Egypt,” broke in Felicity.

 

“Yes, and your father didn’t want to part with it,” said Severus in his usual low toned silky voice.

 

“Then this Dark Lord you speak of, his name must have been Tom Riddle.”

 

Severus flinched, at how quickly she came with the answer. This served to impress him, for he always admired a sharp wit.

 

“Yes, he is. Then you are aware he stole it from your father’s collection?”

 

“Yes, my father was very angry. He worked hard; day and night to find it. He always adored ancient relics. However, it wasn’t as if he found something beautiful this time. This statue looked like an older gaunt-faced man. All in white, no color, just pure white.”

 

“Salazar,” said Severus under his breath, looking down.

 

“What?”

 

“The statue was created in the image of Salazar Slytherin, a direct descendent of Tom Riddle’s,” said Snape with a curious expression.

 

Felicity just paused, and went on.

 

“His long beard covered most of him and the giant snake entwined around his

Legs; curling to his waist looked creepy. It would glow at night by itself sometimes.”

 

Severus listened; his eyes fixed on her every expression.

 

“It held an ancient tie to his family. The snake was a clue,” said Severus.

 

“Yes, and that snake scared me the most. I was happy the statue disappeared,” said Felicity almost shaking from the unpleasant memory.

 

“I’ll bet you were. However, it’s a dangerous thing. We believe it’s a Horcrux,” Severus grew paler with the mention of such a thing. His heart was still in the dark arts, yet something this evil needed careful care, and even he trod lightly around the idea of a Horcrux.

 

She looked perplexed.

 

“A Horcrux?”

 

“Yes, I haven’t time to explain, only a Horcrux holds something evil, and Dumbledore traced the statue to your father. He also knew the connection to Salazar, and the potential significance to Tom this statue would have. He only made Horcruxes from important objects in his life, or so it appears. This would have been something valued to Tom, so your father became a target. Dumbledore wanted to speak to your father and retrieve memories in order to trace its whereabouts. He hoped maybe through several conversations your father had with Tom before he stole it, he might be able to understand where Tom hid it. He’s been trying to find clues for years until his death. Still it remains hidden,” said Severus looking down in despair.

 

“Do you think you’ll ever find it?”

 

“I don’t know. If I don’t or a boy that’s been assigned the task doesn’t, I fear we are all doomed. It’s a long story and I haven’t the energy to explain more,” said Severus. The clock chimed 3 times.

 

“You’re right, it’s three am. I know I don’t understand everything. However, I feel I can trust you,” he winced, closing his eyes, bringing the memory of how Dumbledore would say the same about him.

 

“I give you permission to stay here. You may stay as long as you like,” Felicity reached out for his hand, touching him. He seemed cold, and surprised, yet allowed her hand to remain on his.

 

“I mustn’t. If his people, the Death Eaters find me here they will kill both of us. I will be known as a traitor among them. There is one who suspects me, Bellatrix is her name and is close to the Dark Lord. She could twist his mind to believe her, if I’m found here.”

 

“Then stay here just tonight. Get some rest you’re tired and upset. Please, it means a lot to me.”

 

He stared into her eyes for a moment, and then nodded. A smile spread across her face.

 

“Thank you, Felicity. You’re very kind. I’m grateful,” a term Severus never believed he’d use towards a muggle. He almost couldn’t believe he’d said it until it left his lips. A loud thunder crack broke their intense brief stare, bringing both to reality.

 

“I must go now. Sleep well, and good luck to you in your mission. I hope you’re here when I awake,” a subtle smile crossed her lips again, she stood up and left the room. Severus remained on the bed, watching her every move as she disappeared through the door leaving him to his thoughts.

 

 

“Yes, Felicity, wish me much luck, for before the day breaks and rooster crows I shall be off. If I survive I will return, indeed.”

 

 

[ End ]