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31_days2005-08-02 01:33 am
of-carabas.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2005-08-02 01:33 am
[August 2] [The Lost Boys] Souls, and Lack of a Lack Thereof
Title: Souls, and Lack of A Lack Thereof
Day/Theme: August 2/A school of morality
Series: The Lost Boys
Character: Michael
Rating: PG13
Notes: set in my AU where Michael turned at the end of the movie.
Vampires were evil. They were horrible, undead creatures of the night, devoid of all morality whatsoever; they had no souls, and they were just plain very bad no-good things.
Of course, they also didn't exist. Michael'd gotten over that idea already, so it shouldn't be that much of a surprise that the soulless bit was wrong, too.
Well. He thought he had a soul, anyway. He'd never been that certain of it even when he was human; he hadn't exactly been a true believer. But then, he'd never believed in vampires either, and if vampires existed, God existed too, right? Well, it made a kind of sense. And the holy water worked! So there had to be a God. And if there was a God, then humans had souls. And if humans had souls, and vampires didn't, then humans were Good and vampires were Evil and when vampires killed humans it was Wrong and when humans killed vampires it was Righteous.
An image popped into his head of Sam dressed like one of those surfers on the beach, his fist pumping in the air. "Righteous, dude!"
Okay. So maybe he was still on a bit of a high and shouldn't be philosophizing.
Wait, what was he thinking? He'd been through high school English, he'd done the required reading. No way those guys weren't stoned.
But. Souls. The thing was, the way he figured it, if he had a soul as a human, and he'd lost it, well, wouldn't he have noticed? He didn't know exactly how souls worked, but somehow he had a mental image of this big hole in the middle of his chest. Not physical, but something that he should still be able to feel somehow. He didn't feel hollow. He felt just the same as he had when he was human.
Okay, that was a total lie. He felt fucking fantastic. And the sounds and the smells and the brightness of the shadows and... whoa, waxing philosophical was one thing, but he was getting dangerously close to bad poetry territory here. Anyway, he didn't feel like a ravening monster, that was the point.
Well, come to think of it, ravening was a pretty good word for the hunger.
But the thing was, he still knew right from wrong. Kind of. He thought. As much as he ever had, anyway; he'd never been a choir boy or anything. It was just that the definitions had kind of... shifted. For example, killing was wrong. He knew that.
Eating, however, was good. Occasionally you had to kill to live, but hey, so did everyone else in the food chain. Well, not grass. Everything up from that, though. Oh, hey! Grass got energy from the sun. And vampires were killed by the sun! And vampires ate humans, who thought they were at the top of the food chain, only with the whole human-vampire-sun-grass thing it wasn't a food chain at all, it was a circle! That worked out neat!
Wow, blood-high was like the best high ever.
"What the hell are you giggling about?" David had turned around to look back at him, one eyebrow raised. The words sounded annoyed; the tone didn't.
"Nothing." He could feel himself grinning. David didn't question it, just laughed a little and kept walking down the beach, towards... wherever they were headed. Michael hadn't asked.
Now, if he were to kill, say, David, that would be wrong. And wasn't that a bit of a switch? It had only been, what, a few days since he'd tried to do just that. But now, the idea of any human killing a vampire was just... repulsive. He remembered the need, as a half-vampire, to return to humanity, which meant killing vampires; and he could realize, thinking logically, that it made sense for humans to try to keep themselves from being eaten. But still, the idea of a human killing a vampire was just so deeply wrong. Went against the natural order of things. Vampires killed humans, not the other way around. So, that was morality - killing to eat, good. Killing something that was supposed to eat you, just plain disturbing. Sensible, but disturbing.
And for a vampire to kill another vampire was... well, it didn't seem as deeply wrong to him as the idea of a human doing the killing, but it still felt like a horrible betrayal. You didn't kill other vampires. You just... didn't. They were family.
And by 'they', he meant 'David.' Man, the way things change.
But he still had a soul. He still knew right from wrong, he still had a sense of morality. It was just a slightly different school of morality.
And it might have just been the blood talking, but somehow, he was okay with that.
Day/Theme: August 2/A school of morality
Series: The Lost Boys
Character: Michael
Rating: PG13
Notes: set in my AU where Michael turned at the end of the movie.
Vampires were evil. They were horrible, undead creatures of the night, devoid of all morality whatsoever; they had no souls, and they were just plain very bad no-good things.
Of course, they also didn't exist. Michael'd gotten over that idea already, so it shouldn't be that much of a surprise that the soulless bit was wrong, too.
Well. He thought he had a soul, anyway. He'd never been that certain of it even when he was human; he hadn't exactly been a true believer. But then, he'd never believed in vampires either, and if vampires existed, God existed too, right? Well, it made a kind of sense. And the holy water worked! So there had to be a God. And if there was a God, then humans had souls. And if humans had souls, and vampires didn't, then humans were Good and vampires were Evil and when vampires killed humans it was Wrong and when humans killed vampires it was Righteous.
An image popped into his head of Sam dressed like one of those surfers on the beach, his fist pumping in the air. "Righteous, dude!"
Okay. So maybe he was still on a bit of a high and shouldn't be philosophizing.
Wait, what was he thinking? He'd been through high school English, he'd done the required reading. No way those guys weren't stoned.
But. Souls. The thing was, the way he figured it, if he had a soul as a human, and he'd lost it, well, wouldn't he have noticed? He didn't know exactly how souls worked, but somehow he had a mental image of this big hole in the middle of his chest. Not physical, but something that he should still be able to feel somehow. He didn't feel hollow. He felt just the same as he had when he was human.
Okay, that was a total lie. He felt fucking fantastic. And the sounds and the smells and the brightness of the shadows and... whoa, waxing philosophical was one thing, but he was getting dangerously close to bad poetry territory here. Anyway, he didn't feel like a ravening monster, that was the point.
Well, come to think of it, ravening was a pretty good word for the hunger.
But the thing was, he still knew right from wrong. Kind of. He thought. As much as he ever had, anyway; he'd never been a choir boy or anything. It was just that the definitions had kind of... shifted. For example, killing was wrong. He knew that.
Eating, however, was good. Occasionally you had to kill to live, but hey, so did everyone else in the food chain. Well, not grass. Everything up from that, though. Oh, hey! Grass got energy from the sun. And vampires were killed by the sun! And vampires ate humans, who thought they were at the top of the food chain, only with the whole human-vampire-sun-grass thing it wasn't a food chain at all, it was a circle! That worked out neat!
Wow, blood-high was like the best high ever.
"What the hell are you giggling about?" David had turned around to look back at him, one eyebrow raised. The words sounded annoyed; the tone didn't.
"Nothing." He could feel himself grinning. David didn't question it, just laughed a little and kept walking down the beach, towards... wherever they were headed. Michael hadn't asked.
Now, if he were to kill, say, David, that would be wrong. And wasn't that a bit of a switch? It had only been, what, a few days since he'd tried to do just that. But now, the idea of any human killing a vampire was just... repulsive. He remembered the need, as a half-vampire, to return to humanity, which meant killing vampires; and he could realize, thinking logically, that it made sense for humans to try to keep themselves from being eaten. But still, the idea of a human killing a vampire was just so deeply wrong. Went against the natural order of things. Vampires killed humans, not the other way around. So, that was morality - killing to eat, good. Killing something that was supposed to eat you, just plain disturbing. Sensible, but disturbing.
And for a vampire to kill another vampire was... well, it didn't seem as deeply wrong to him as the idea of a human doing the killing, but it still felt like a horrible betrayal. You didn't kill other vampires. You just... didn't. They were family.
And by 'they', he meant 'David.' Man, the way things change.
But he still had a soul. He still knew right from wrong, he still had a sense of morality. It was just a slightly different school of morality.
And it might have just been the blood talking, but somehow, he was okay with that.