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31_days2009-06-01 10:59 pm
footseer.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2009-06-01 10:59 pm
[June 1st][Step into my office, baby][Transmet]
Title: And you wonder why they hate him.
Day/Theme: June 1st//Step into my office, baby.
Series: Transmetropolitan
Character/Pairing: Spider, the 'filthy assistants'
Rating: T
Warnings: Its Spider Jerusalem. He is not pretty, or nice. Reader be ware.
Dear reader, I have this to say to you. Do not use pick up lines on ‘filthy assistants’. Their small and inferior brains are incapable of understanding the nuances of a good whistle, and that simmering rage they seem unable to control must be a product of their higher hormone level and not, of course, any advances on my part.
I am now convinced that the city is filled not only with scum and villainy, but also with a lack of humor. No wonder the place is going to the dogs. (Its not like I even have an office.) Of course, the filthy assistants claim that I have a similar inability to laugh – but I ask you, dear reader – would you laugh at a komodo dragon on your bed at three in the morning? I think not. If you have any sense in your heads (which I doubt) you would retaliate just as I did.
On a completely unrelated note, did you know you can tailor viruses to attack only certain tissues in the body? They have whole kits, if you know where to look. I find it quite amusing that the starter set includes one that will attack ovarian tissue. Not that I tested it out on anyone. Nope, those cramps are not my fault.
Day/Theme: June 1st//Step into my office, baby.
Series: Transmetropolitan
Character/Pairing: Spider, the 'filthy assistants'
Rating: T
Warnings: Its Spider Jerusalem. He is not pretty, or nice. Reader be ware.
Dear reader, I have this to say to you. Do not use pick up lines on ‘filthy assistants’. Their small and inferior brains are incapable of understanding the nuances of a good whistle, and that simmering rage they seem unable to control must be a product of their higher hormone level and not, of course, any advances on my part.
I am now convinced that the city is filled not only with scum and villainy, but also with a lack of humor. No wonder the place is going to the dogs. (Its not like I even have an office.) Of course, the filthy assistants claim that I have a similar inability to laugh – but I ask you, dear reader – would you laugh at a komodo dragon on your bed at three in the morning? I think not. If you have any sense in your heads (which I doubt) you would retaliate just as I did.
On a completely unrelated note, did you know you can tailor viruses to attack only certain tissues in the body? They have whole kits, if you know where to look. I find it quite amusing that the starter set includes one that will attack ovarian tissue. Not that I tested it out on anyone. Nope, those cramps are not my fault.