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31_days2009-02-17 10:28 pm
firehawk05.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2009-02-17 10:28 pm
[17 Feb] [Bleach] Post mortem, ex animo
Title: Post Mortem, ex animo
Day/Theme: 17 Feb/One pierced moment whiter than the rest
Series: Bleach
Character: Kaien POV
Rating: T for language.
Author's notes: Based on chapter 136. From Kaien's POV.
I'll tell you straight, I've never liked the strict hierarachy that this place seems to favor. I've always tried to look after my subordinates, to encourage a sense of camaraderie in the ranks.
I tell them, that I'll stand by them until they die as long as they're under me. I believed it too. Always have. But it's easy to hold on to your convictions when life is good.
We who deal death to others almost on a daily basis accept death as a practical hazard of the job. It's not really death anyway with this reincarnation business, more like a temporary intermission in whole circle of life. That's was what I told myself all the time, it never really bothered me.
I mean, what the hell, I was young and already a lieutenant and I had a beautiful wife. To top it off I had a funny, timid little girl to tease almost on a daily basis. It's not every day that you get to tease a member of the Noble house and a Kuchiki to boot. Hell, life was totally looking up.
You know the feeling when you're on the top of the world and everything and can't for a moment imagine that you could possibly crash? It was totally like that.
The news of her death came fluttering to me on ragged wings. I guess that's why they're called Hell butterflies.
Everything after that was just a blur. I mean, the condolences, the funeral and everything. The stunning realization that the old I'm-so-much-more-blue-blooded-it's-a-wonder-I-even-deign-to-look-in-your-direction-Kuchiki had someone deliver an unexpected wreath to her grave.
I don't know. I don't even really remember most of it.
Just the cold, smouldering, almost suicidally manic rage. Anger at the hollow for killing her, her for allowing herself to be killed by a mere hollow, at her for dying and leaving me here with nothing but the broken shards of a once-bright future.
Then the beast appeared. Ugly son-of-a-bitch that it was. Regretting that it didn't eat... Well, never mind. Suffice to say I completely lost my head there.
I'm not proud of that. I'm even more ashamed that I lost my sword and then my mind in that encounter.
I'm lucky you were there. My timid, funny, totally-lacking-in-confidence-despite-being-a-Kuchiki girl. I wish I hadn't dragged you into the whole mess, but when I felt the shock of your blade sliding between my ribs and out my back, I had this, like epiphany thing. Along with a whole lot of pain. But I knew that would fade.
It was like my sanity returning, I've always kind of felt that for a thinking creature that man is, it's a terrible thing to die insane.
I guess I really need to thank you, Kuchiki Rukia. For leading me back to myself, for allowing me to die with honor and most of all, for being strong enough to bear the burden of carrying on living.
Day/Theme: 17 Feb/One pierced moment whiter than the rest
Series: Bleach
Character: Kaien POV
Rating: T for language.
Author's notes: Based on chapter 136. From Kaien's POV.
I'll tell you straight, I've never liked the strict hierarachy that this place seems to favor. I've always tried to look after my subordinates, to encourage a sense of camaraderie in the ranks.
I tell them, that I'll stand by them until they die as long as they're under me. I believed it too. Always have. But it's easy to hold on to your convictions when life is good.
We who deal death to others almost on a daily basis accept death as a practical hazard of the job. It's not really death anyway with this reincarnation business, more like a temporary intermission in whole circle of life. That's was what I told myself all the time, it never really bothered me.
I mean, what the hell, I was young and already a lieutenant and I had a beautiful wife. To top it off I had a funny, timid little girl to tease almost on a daily basis. It's not every day that you get to tease a member of the Noble house and a Kuchiki to boot. Hell, life was totally looking up.
You know the feeling when you're on the top of the world and everything and can't for a moment imagine that you could possibly crash? It was totally like that.
The news of her death came fluttering to me on ragged wings. I guess that's why they're called Hell butterflies.
Everything after that was just a blur. I mean, the condolences, the funeral and everything. The stunning realization that the old I'm-so-much-more-blue-blooded-it's-a-wonder-I-even-deign-to-look-in-your-direction-Kuchiki had someone deliver an unexpected wreath to her grave.
I don't know. I don't even really remember most of it.
Just the cold, smouldering, almost suicidally manic rage. Anger at the hollow for killing her, her for allowing herself to be killed by a mere hollow, at her for dying and leaving me here with nothing but the broken shards of a once-bright future.
Then the beast appeared. Ugly son-of-a-bitch that it was. Regretting that it didn't eat... Well, never mind. Suffice to say I completely lost my head there.
I'm not proud of that. I'm even more ashamed that I lost my sword and then my mind in that encounter.
I'm lucky you were there. My timid, funny, totally-lacking-in-confidence-despite-being-a-Kuchiki girl. I wish I hadn't dragged you into the whole mess, but when I felt the shock of your blade sliding between my ribs and out my back, I had this, like epiphany thing. Along with a whole lot of pain. But I knew that would fade.
It was like my sanity returning, I've always kind of felt that for a thinking creature that man is, it's a terrible thing to die insane.
I guess I really need to thank you, Kuchiki Rukia. For leading me back to myself, for allowing me to die with honor and most of all, for being strong enough to bear the burden of carrying on living.