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31_days2005-09-06 11:34 pm
swollenfoot.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2005-09-06 11:34 pm
[September 6] [Original] A What-Could-Have-Been CJ and Her Mundane Demise
Title: A What-Could-Have-Been CJ and Her Mundane Demise
Day/Theme: September 6 / Hogwarts, A Life
Series: original, mentions Chronicles of Narnia & Harry Potter series
Character/Pairing: CJ Espiritu
Rating: G
CJ delighted in books, anything that comprised of words from one end to the other. She would read for long hours, absorbing the symbols from paper with her eyes, spinning them into a tapestry that spanned the stupendous halls of her imagination, singing out each combination in an inner voice that reverberated within the vaults of her mind. It was her secret life, these pages, and often she found herself out of synch with the so-called real one.
Narnia was wonderful, her favorite hideaway. On many afternoons after school, she'd sneak away to join some adventure or another, maying or hunting or simply holding court. King Peter was the preeminent gentleman, Queen Susan doting and motherly. Edmund was a flirt and Lucy was sweetly mischievous. But CJ's favorite was riding with Aravis, the Tarkheena now living in Arvard, and Cor---Shasta, CJ preferred to say, enjoying the roll of the name on her tongue---as they explored the mountainous wilderness of Archenland, their new home. They treated her well, though her robes were a bit threadbare and spotted with ube ice cream.
Older now, CJ's visits became infrequent. Her mind turned to the mundane studies of the real world. She still loved books, so even the exactingly anal geometry textbook amused her, as did the highfalutin physics one.
Then her cousin Zyah sent her a book, a gift from her parents working overseas. Zyah read books now and then, but did not hoard them. Zyah gave her explicit instructions to read the book, ASAP, which was very unlike her.
CJ was thirteen then, stunned by a sudden doorway to the world of Hogwarts.
Oh, it was much more accessible than Cair Paravel! It was so easy to lead a double life then, going to ordinary school early in the day and then afterwards, going to wizarding school. Suddenly, time zones were useful. Suddenly, she could fly on broomsticks and apparate with robe-clad ministry workers (that was illegal, of course, but they had to bend the rules for an exchange student like her.) Her house was Hufflepuff, and often she had rubbed shoulders with the famous Harry Potter, his red-head friend Ron Weasley, or the bushy-haired girl Hermione, as they walked down hallways in between periods. CJ didn't ingratiate herself on the little group, naturally; even in other worlds, she remained shy.
Best of all, like Narnia, Hogwarts was a secret no one knew but her. Well, of course, common sense dictated that there were other people who knew about both places, but they were distant to CJ, faceless and nameless.
Until one day, that is.
After a long wait, she had finally gotten the second book through Zyah, another gift from her parents. (Zyah must have enjoyed it, too. Zyah must have found similarities between the book and her life----a very selective school, dormitories, oddly named subjects, being considered elite and freak of nature both.)And then there was a third book to wait for and, soon, a fourth. Years passed, and CJ still hadn't gotten her hand on copies of either book. She resented, for once, being born in her beloved tropical archipelago.
She had gone to school with the second book, a little worn now from repeated readings. Jan, a classmate, took one look at the book and squealed with delight. It was a good book, she gushed, very good. CJ had smiled at her and nodded her assent, but inside she was shredded to pieces.
Hogwarts was not hers. It wasn't part of her secret life. Not just, not anymore.
And then everybody spoke of Hogwarts afterwards. They had more claim to it than her. They knew all the spells---she couldn't even pronounce half of them!----and the little details they were able to obsessively repeat. And she had dared fancy herself part of the world of the wizarding school, she who knew nothing past vague imaginings of belongingness?
Then after the first movie... Ah, but bitterness wasn't part of her nature.
Eventually, CJ was finally able to read about Sirius Black, Lupin, and the rest of the Marauders. She read about the Triwizard match and so on and so forth.
Then suddenly, she was old, and the Order of the Phoenix was exciting because of its psychologically compelling plot. Suddenly, to her the Half-Blood Prince was just a character to dissect. Oh, she loved the Half-blood prince for all he offered the seventh book, but five years ago, wouldn't she have joined with Harry in hating the Prince? Wouldn't she have feared the future, as well, shivered as she walked the cold stone floor of the ancient keep, as she ghosted in its passages in the middle of the night?
Hogwarts, a life, simply wasn't hers anymore, and with that realization came a deep-seated regret that would forever echo in her bosom.
~23:10
Day/Theme: September 6 / Hogwarts, A Life
Series: original, mentions Chronicles of Narnia & Harry Potter series
Character/Pairing: CJ Espiritu
Rating: G
CJ delighted in books, anything that comprised of words from one end to the other. She would read for long hours, absorbing the symbols from paper with her eyes, spinning them into a tapestry that spanned the stupendous halls of her imagination, singing out each combination in an inner voice that reverberated within the vaults of her mind. It was her secret life, these pages, and often she found herself out of synch with the so-called real one.
Narnia was wonderful, her favorite hideaway. On many afternoons after school, she'd sneak away to join some adventure or another, maying or hunting or simply holding court. King Peter was the preeminent gentleman, Queen Susan doting and motherly. Edmund was a flirt and Lucy was sweetly mischievous. But CJ's favorite was riding with Aravis, the Tarkheena now living in Arvard, and Cor---Shasta, CJ preferred to say, enjoying the roll of the name on her tongue---as they explored the mountainous wilderness of Archenland, their new home. They treated her well, though her robes were a bit threadbare and spotted with ube ice cream.
Older now, CJ's visits became infrequent. Her mind turned to the mundane studies of the real world. She still loved books, so even the exactingly anal geometry textbook amused her, as did the highfalutin physics one.
Then her cousin Zyah sent her a book, a gift from her parents working overseas. Zyah read books now and then, but did not hoard them. Zyah gave her explicit instructions to read the book, ASAP, which was very unlike her.
CJ was thirteen then, stunned by a sudden doorway to the world of Hogwarts.
Oh, it was much more accessible than Cair Paravel! It was so easy to lead a double life then, going to ordinary school early in the day and then afterwards, going to wizarding school. Suddenly, time zones were useful. Suddenly, she could fly on broomsticks and apparate with robe-clad ministry workers (that was illegal, of course, but they had to bend the rules for an exchange student like her.) Her house was Hufflepuff, and often she had rubbed shoulders with the famous Harry Potter, his red-head friend Ron Weasley, or the bushy-haired girl Hermione, as they walked down hallways in between periods. CJ didn't ingratiate herself on the little group, naturally; even in other worlds, she remained shy.
Best of all, like Narnia, Hogwarts was a secret no one knew but her. Well, of course, common sense dictated that there were other people who knew about both places, but they were distant to CJ, faceless and nameless.
Until one day, that is.
After a long wait, she had finally gotten the second book through Zyah, another gift from her parents. (Zyah must have enjoyed it, too. Zyah must have found similarities between the book and her life----a very selective school, dormitories, oddly named subjects, being considered elite and freak of nature both.)And then there was a third book to wait for and, soon, a fourth. Years passed, and CJ still hadn't gotten her hand on copies of either book. She resented, for once, being born in her beloved tropical archipelago.
She had gone to school with the second book, a little worn now from repeated readings. Jan, a classmate, took one look at the book and squealed with delight. It was a good book, she gushed, very good. CJ had smiled at her and nodded her assent, but inside she was shredded to pieces.
Hogwarts was not hers. It wasn't part of her secret life. Not just, not anymore.
And then everybody spoke of Hogwarts afterwards. They had more claim to it than her. They knew all the spells---she couldn't even pronounce half of them!----and the little details they were able to obsessively repeat. And she had dared fancy herself part of the world of the wizarding school, she who knew nothing past vague imaginings of belongingness?
Then after the first movie... Ah, but bitterness wasn't part of her nature.
Eventually, CJ was finally able to read about Sirius Black, Lupin, and the rest of the Marauders. She read about the Triwizard match and so on and so forth.
Then suddenly, she was old, and the Order of the Phoenix was exciting because of its psychologically compelling plot. Suddenly, to her the Half-Blood Prince was just a character to dissect. Oh, she loved the Half-blood prince for all he offered the seventh book, but five years ago, wouldn't she have joined with Harry in hating the Prince? Wouldn't she have feared the future, as well, shivered as she walked the cold stone floor of the ancient keep, as she ghosted in its passages in the middle of the night?
Hogwarts, a life, simply wasn't hers anymore, and with that realization came a deep-seated regret that would forever echo in her bosom.
~23:10