16 Nov | Harry Potter | Flexibility

[maajna.livejournal.com]

Title: Flexibility
Day/Theme: 16 Nov / misunderstandings stemming from contrasting courting styles.
Series: Harry Potter
Character/Pairing: James, Sirius and Remus
Rating: PG-13 for un-delicate subjects and boyish attitude
Word Count: 630





"For Christ's sake, James, it's simple." With an irrefutable air of authority, Sirius pushes James to the side and ostentatiously clears his throat. The study is dimly lit by the fading afternoon light, bright through sticking snowflakes. "Legs all the way over the shoulder, touching the ground, then you fit in on top, like so --and there, Pile Driver."

Sirius performs the motion slowly for him to observe. Remus grunts uncomfortably, and James pales, taking an unsure step back before stumbling against the settee. He brushes his frowzy black hair into his face, then away again, and finally mutters,

"Not so bad, I guess." He looks a bit peaky.

"Not so bad, eh?" Sirius tsks meaningfully. "It's unbelievable, that's what."

Remus's irritable sigh falls on deaf ears. "D'you reckon she'd mind?"

"Evans?" Sirius pauses mid-demonstration, peering down at him. "Mind? Why?"

"It's just..." James pushes his hair into his face again. "I don't know if she's quite...well, flexible."

"I think flexibility will be the least of your problems." Remus states flatly. "Maybe you ought to focus your efforts towards getting her on a date first. Now, if you wouldn't mind lifting your bony arse--"

"She can't be any less flexible than ol' pissy-pants Moony here." Sirius says matter-of-factly, pushing Remus further into the ground with a deft palm. There is a sharp crack --Remus yelps, but again it goes otherwise unnoticed.

James frowns slightly. "I mean flexible like..." He sighs. "I don't know, Pads, I'd do it of course but I'm not sure Lily--er, Evans, if she'd appreciate it, I suppose."

He trails off and Sirius, with a sweeping sigh finally stands. Remus rights himself on the floor, breathing heavily, and Sirius moves for the bottle of pumpkin beer left beside the chaise. "Honestly, man...If all you were looking for is a tender moment, you'd have done better not to ask."

He takes a swig. "You haven't even gotten a snog out of her and already the estrogen's leaking out your eyes. I'm disappointed."

James frowns further but says nothing, his ego visibly wounded. Remus stands, tetchily brushing off his sweater. "These lessons in "seduction" are rubbish. Lily Evans is very much not the type to be taken by force, I hope you realize."

Sirius barks with laughter. "Certainly not by Prongsy."

"Shove off." He snaps, leaning onto his knees, head hung. "Moony's right. I can't throw her onto her back, she won't have it." He looks up, grinning. "Ought to start with something a little slower, you know, to loosen her up a bit."

Remus rolls his eyes and Sirius grins cheekily in turn, clapping his mate on the shoulder.

"There he is, back on target. I've got a one one of the bird's I picked up at the Hogshead taught me. It's called Delight, and she perches on the edge of the bed...Moony, come 'ere a sec."

"You're out of luck on demonstrators." says Remus sharply, leaning on the mantle in the shadowy back of the room. "I'd swallow a bat's eye first."

"You'd swallow more than that, I'd reckon." Sirius snorts, grinning. "Ought to take what you can get."

"Some people are just ungrateful, I guess." James cackles.

Remus finds a flask of red currant rum and pours a glass. "We should just get Evans over here and have you coach him through the whole process. Or better yet, cut out the middle man and use James instead."

They glare at Moony for a good moment, then turning slowly, their eyes catch in one another's.


Sirius sighs. "Well, you ought to concentrate on getting her smitten with you, anyway."

"Yeah, wouldn't want to get ahead of myself."

They nod gruffly. Remus takes a sip of rum and says nothing further.