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31_days2008-10-10 11:17 pm
issen4.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2008-10-10 11:17 pm
[10 Oct] [Initial D/Prince of Tennis/Hikago] Slip Roads 10/31
Title: Slip Roads 10/31
Day/Theme: 10 Oct/doppelgangland
Series: Initial D/Prince of Tennis/Hikago
Character/Pairing: previous Takahashi Ryousuke/Fuji Yuuta, Takahashi Ryousuke/Takahashi Keisuke
Rating: NC-16, incest between brothers
----------------------------
Ryousuke stepped backwards into his room, before closing the door and locking it. The pounding of his heart drowned out every other sound as he leant against the door, before he slid down to the floor, unable to stand any longer.
His breath came in great gasps, but he felt unable to clear his lungs somehow. Unable to get the image of Keisuke out of his mind.
Without realising it, his hand had slipped inside his shorts, but at the touch of sensitive flesh he had pulled away as though scalded, and stumbled to his desk on heavy legs, finding himself seated on the ergonomic chair, both hands flattened on his desk as he stared unseeing at the rows of books above him.
Outside, Keisuke said, "Aniki?"
He didn't answer.
All the times he thought--no, hoped--he was beyond Keisuke, the events not ten minutes ago made a mockery of that. They had talked that night, when he saw Keisuke waiting for him at their usual meeting spot in those racing days, about life without the other: Keisuke with his career as a racer before him and Ryousuke as medical student with hardly enough time for himself. They had smiled at each other, wry about the turns of life. Then they had gone back home, and Ryousuke had decided on a shower to wash away the dust from the road.
Keisuke was waiting when he came out.
Before he left Japan, Keisuke was still just a young man with the slim, rangy build of someone who had yet to mature fully. But already Ryousuke, with his analytical mind and lengthy, secret contemplation of Keisuke, could imagine what his brother would look like in years to come.
And the Keisuke who had just stood in front of him was so true, to his imaginings, that Ryousuke felt as though a malicious deity had reached into his mind and conjured Keisuke out of thin air.
Keisuke was no longer slim like a boy; his shoulders had broadened and his chest had filled out, with lightly muscled arms and legs, with a sprinkling of fine dark hair on a taut stomach that led down an erection. He had smiled, confidently, before he stepped towards Ryousuke, who was suddenly thankful that he had decided to pull on a T-shirt and shorts before exiting the shower.
"Aniki," Keisuke had said.
Ryousuke had managed to hold on to his composure somehow. "What are you doing, Keisuke?" he asked. His voice had come out too soft, he thought dismally.
"It's not too late, Aniki," Keisuke said. "It's been years, I know, but we can still-" he stepped closer, placing his hand on Ryousuke's shoulder.
Ryousuke stood, dumbstruck, until Keisuke touched bare skin--a skimming of fingertips on his neck, like a caress--and he found himself shaking his head. He could suddenly see Fuji Syusuke doing the same to Yuuta: that gentle touch that raised alarms in every part of Ryousuke's mind. "No, Keisuke," he said.
When they were younger, just adolescents, they had experimented without qualms, but as they grew older, Ryousuke had pulled away first, knowing deep in his gut that he could not encourage Keisuke any further. It did not stop Keisuke from trying to gain his approval in other ways, and with the certainty of cold, detached analysis Ryousuke had decided what steps would be best to sever the attraction between them.
(He had not counted on finding Fujiwara and having his preconceptions, not to mention his driving skills, challenged by him, but on hindsight that had given him the strength to resist Keisuke.)
"I've missed you so much." Both of Keisuke's arms were around him now.
The scent of Keisuke's body made him dizzy. He longed to forget he was Takahashi Ryousuke and pull the other man closer to him, and sate his needs with that warm flesh. But, "Keisuke, we shouldn't." And he had freed himself, watching his own hands push away Keisuke firmly as though from a great distance away.
"But why-" Keisuke's eyes narrowed. "Is it Fujiwara?"
Ryousuke seized on the name, fixing the image of Fujiwara in his mind. Truly, he had no idea if Fujiwara had even considered anything between them. Maybe Fujiwara was never attracted to him. But if he allowed himself to think of Fujiwara--if he allowed himself to imagine what was possible with Fujiwara--then there was strength, enough for him to turn away. "Don't do this again, Keisuke," he had said, and escaped to his room.
He was breathing normally again, Ryousuke realised with no little amazement, though his hands, when he took them away from the glass-covered surface of his desk, left sweaty palm prints.
Outside, Keisuke was still saying, "Aniki?"
Ryousuke thought of him standing naked outside his door and resisted a sigh. Keisuke had always been impetuous. Looking around, he spotted his bathrobe, grabbed it, and opened the door, just wide enough to allow him to look at Keisuke.
Keisuke's face had lit up but confusion entered his face again as Ryousuke pushed the robe into his arms. "What is this?"
"Put that on and go back to your room, Keisuke," Ryousuke said, keeping his clenching hands--still hungry now--where Keisuke couldn't see. "We can't do this. You're my brother."
The pout on Keisuke's face nearly made him relent. He had such a weakness for it, in the past. "It doesn't matter to m-"
"It does to me." He focused on a spot of bare skin between Keisuke's eyes. "Everything that happened... let it stay in the past. You have your future ahead of you. Don't wreck it."
Was this how Fuji Syusuke and Yuuta had done it? And if it was, how had they found the strength to keep to that agreement? Even now, he could remember how it had seemed to come jumbling back for Fuji Syusuke, if his alarm at Yuuta's injuries and jealousy at Ryousuke were any indication. He half-wondered if he and Keisuke would have to see-saw between desire and duty all their lives. So be it. He'd keep rejecting so long he had the strength to do so, and when he had no more strength, he'd find more.
"But-"
"Keisuke." He put on his big brother's voice, and was gratified to see Keisuke nearly snap to attention.
"Yes?"
"Good night," he said, and closed the door.
----tbc----
Day/Theme: 10 Oct/doppelgangland
Series: Initial D/Prince of Tennis/Hikago
Character/Pairing: previous Takahashi Ryousuke/Fuji Yuuta, Takahashi Ryousuke/Takahashi Keisuke
Rating: NC-16, incest between brothers
----------------------------
Ryousuke stepped backwards into his room, before closing the door and locking it. The pounding of his heart drowned out every other sound as he leant against the door, before he slid down to the floor, unable to stand any longer.
His breath came in great gasps, but he felt unable to clear his lungs somehow. Unable to get the image of Keisuke out of his mind.
Without realising it, his hand had slipped inside his shorts, but at the touch of sensitive flesh he had pulled away as though scalded, and stumbled to his desk on heavy legs, finding himself seated on the ergonomic chair, both hands flattened on his desk as he stared unseeing at the rows of books above him.
Outside, Keisuke said, "Aniki?"
He didn't answer.
All the times he thought--no, hoped--he was beyond Keisuke, the events not ten minutes ago made a mockery of that. They had talked that night, when he saw Keisuke waiting for him at their usual meeting spot in those racing days, about life without the other: Keisuke with his career as a racer before him and Ryousuke as medical student with hardly enough time for himself. They had smiled at each other, wry about the turns of life. Then they had gone back home, and Ryousuke had decided on a shower to wash away the dust from the road.
Keisuke was waiting when he came out.
Before he left Japan, Keisuke was still just a young man with the slim, rangy build of someone who had yet to mature fully. But already Ryousuke, with his analytical mind and lengthy, secret contemplation of Keisuke, could imagine what his brother would look like in years to come.
And the Keisuke who had just stood in front of him was so true, to his imaginings, that Ryousuke felt as though a malicious deity had reached into his mind and conjured Keisuke out of thin air.
Keisuke was no longer slim like a boy; his shoulders had broadened and his chest had filled out, with lightly muscled arms and legs, with a sprinkling of fine dark hair on a taut stomach that led down an erection. He had smiled, confidently, before he stepped towards Ryousuke, who was suddenly thankful that he had decided to pull on a T-shirt and shorts before exiting the shower.
"Aniki," Keisuke had said.
Ryousuke had managed to hold on to his composure somehow. "What are you doing, Keisuke?" he asked. His voice had come out too soft, he thought dismally.
"It's not too late, Aniki," Keisuke said. "It's been years, I know, but we can still-" he stepped closer, placing his hand on Ryousuke's shoulder.
Ryousuke stood, dumbstruck, until Keisuke touched bare skin--a skimming of fingertips on his neck, like a caress--and he found himself shaking his head. He could suddenly see Fuji Syusuke doing the same to Yuuta: that gentle touch that raised alarms in every part of Ryousuke's mind. "No, Keisuke," he said.
When they were younger, just adolescents, they had experimented without qualms, but as they grew older, Ryousuke had pulled away first, knowing deep in his gut that he could not encourage Keisuke any further. It did not stop Keisuke from trying to gain his approval in other ways, and with the certainty of cold, detached analysis Ryousuke had decided what steps would be best to sever the attraction between them.
(He had not counted on finding Fujiwara and having his preconceptions, not to mention his driving skills, challenged by him, but on hindsight that had given him the strength to resist Keisuke.)
"I've missed you so much." Both of Keisuke's arms were around him now.
The scent of Keisuke's body made him dizzy. He longed to forget he was Takahashi Ryousuke and pull the other man closer to him, and sate his needs with that warm flesh. But, "Keisuke, we shouldn't." And he had freed himself, watching his own hands push away Keisuke firmly as though from a great distance away.
"But why-" Keisuke's eyes narrowed. "Is it Fujiwara?"
Ryousuke seized on the name, fixing the image of Fujiwara in his mind. Truly, he had no idea if Fujiwara had even considered anything between them. Maybe Fujiwara was never attracted to him. But if he allowed himself to think of Fujiwara--if he allowed himself to imagine what was possible with Fujiwara--then there was strength, enough for him to turn away. "Don't do this again, Keisuke," he had said, and escaped to his room.
He was breathing normally again, Ryousuke realised with no little amazement, though his hands, when he took them away from the glass-covered surface of his desk, left sweaty palm prints.
Outside, Keisuke was still saying, "Aniki?"
Ryousuke thought of him standing naked outside his door and resisted a sigh. Keisuke had always been impetuous. Looking around, he spotted his bathrobe, grabbed it, and opened the door, just wide enough to allow him to look at Keisuke.
Keisuke's face had lit up but confusion entered his face again as Ryousuke pushed the robe into his arms. "What is this?"
"Put that on and go back to your room, Keisuke," Ryousuke said, keeping his clenching hands--still hungry now--where Keisuke couldn't see. "We can't do this. You're my brother."
The pout on Keisuke's face nearly made him relent. He had such a weakness for it, in the past. "It doesn't matter to m-"
"It does to me." He focused on a spot of bare skin between Keisuke's eyes. "Everything that happened... let it stay in the past. You have your future ahead of you. Don't wreck it."
Was this how Fuji Syusuke and Yuuta had done it? And if it was, how had they found the strength to keep to that agreement? Even now, he could remember how it had seemed to come jumbling back for Fuji Syusuke, if his alarm at Yuuta's injuries and jealousy at Ryousuke were any indication. He half-wondered if he and Keisuke would have to see-saw between desire and duty all their lives. So be it. He'd keep rejecting so long he had the strength to do so, and when he had no more strength, he'd find more.
"But-"
"Keisuke." He put on his big brother's voice, and was gratified to see Keisuke nearly snap to attention.
"Yes?"
"Good night," he said, and closed the door.
----tbc----