[feb 26][the dark tower] Denial

[raikune.livejournal.com]

edit: added title

Title: Denial
Fandom: The Dark Tower
Pairing: Roland/Jake
Rating: G
Day/theme: feb 26 / "we deceive ourselves"
Notes: OMG I JUST MADE IT. This is a drabble, 172 words.

For many years, Roland has walked this world alone. His friends are dead. His parents, dead. Everyone he has ever loved, dead.

 

Now he has the boy, and the gunslinger tells himself every hour of every day that he doesn’t love him too. He will not allow himself to love Jake Chambers. The past tells him bitterly that it could only end in more heartache. He has not, will not, feel anything when Jake smiles at him in awe and trust. His heart is immune to the feel of the boy’s small dry hand in his own; the breath of the boy against his midriff when Jake clings to him tightly, whenever he has a nightmare.  

 

Roland tells himself he is dead, and the boy nothing more then a ghost.

 

His soul ignores his brain’s pleas. The gunslinger turns back, squinting against the sun, watching as Jake runs to catch up with him. No use. Love sends needles though his heart.

 

“Come,” he says, and walks on, knowing the boy will follow.