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31_days2008-02-25 11:57 pm
fyliwionvilyaer.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2008-02-25 11:57 pm
[Feb 25] [Magic Kaitou] Facing the Lonliness
Title: Facing the Lonliness
Author: Fyliwion
Fandom: Magic Kaitou
Pairing: Aoko/Kaito
Theme: Feb 25- "What are kings, when regiment is gone?"
Rating: Pg-13
Disclaimer: Gosho’s characters…. I just abuse them
Life was ordinary. Not dull per-say, but common. She woke up every day at about seven to head to her job, worked from nine to five, would stop by some place to pick up dinner and then go home. Often on the weekends she would visit her father, or in the evening go their to make dinner instead, but usually it was too much trouble to make supper for one.
Her evenings might be interspersed with dates, trips to the gym, friends, parties with co-workers, or any other little event that might intercept her life. Nothing eventful filled the crevasses, and at times she would even crave the more crazy antics that seemed to follow her in high school.
On the worse days she’d find herself thinking about Kaito, and how she was positive his life was probably bursting with excitement. No doubt he was reveling in the joys that his freedom gave him. While she sat at home and watched variety shows on the television, he was still probably off seeing the world.
If nothing else those heists of his had to make life interesting, except it had been a long time since a KID heist had been anywhere near Ekoda, and at that point she’d even accept one of those to break up the monotony.
So it was that she found herself coming home to her empty apartment one Friday night, she decided to just order a pizza and plop down in front of the T.V. to amuse herself with another of those pointless shows or melodramas, when the phone rang.
She tried to puzzle out who would be calling. Her father was suppose to be at work until later, and Keiko had a date. It was far too late for her to have to go back to the office, and her last boyfriend had broken up with her months ago. She suspected it was either a telemarketer or bad news, and she didn’t really want to deal with either, but against her better judgment picked up the phone.
“Moshi moshi?”
“Ah… Is this Nakamori Aoko speaking?”
She froze as she held the phone, and her mind raced. The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but for whatever reason she couldn’t quite place it. It also put her nerves on end for some reason, like she knew somehow the conversation was going to jar her nice settled life, and put it back in the mixing bowl. Not that she minded that too much exactly but-
“…Umm yes? May I-”
“Nakamori-san!” She found herself cut off as the voice of the older man went on, “Ah… You won’t remember me I imagine. But well… I was an old family friend of the Kurobas-”
Her heart doubled its time, and a flash of irreational fear ran through her. Every worse possible ancedote went through her head. Kaito was dead, dying, hurt, paralyzed, been caught, his mother was on her death bed, and Kaito was broke. She hadn’t talked to her childhood friend in years, but all at once she found herself worrying about him as though she’d seen him yesterday.
“Is Kaito alright? He’s not hurt or-”
“What? Oh- No… He’s not… That is he’s not hurt. Young Master’s-” there was a long pause and finally, “Young Master’s doing… well…though like you have suspected I’m certain, he is the reason I have called.” She could hear the hesitation on the other line, and she realized the old man seemed slightly unsure of calling.
She frowned to herself and suddenly found herself irritated. How dare that impetutant boy try to, “Did Kaito tell you to call? If he did well you can just tell him to put himself on the line! What did he do to find this number anyway? Hack into the police files or-”
Again the man cut her off with his protests, “No! No no! Little Master had no idea I called at all, or he’d be quite angry if he thought I had. No he had no idea, and ah… well I confess I may have had to do some research to find it but I was truly hoping to speak with you.”
Aoko listened to his voice and felt a grudging belief nudge at her. Perhaps the man was telling the truth, or at least he was quite a good actor. She might as well hear him out, “Alright… I think I believe you. What about Kaito than if he’s doing alright?”
There was another pause as the man let out a long sigh, “You see. Little Master is actually in town, and well… I know he hasn’t spoken to you in a long while, but I hoped that you might be willing to visit him, or see him. I could possibly arrange it, and well… I think he would really like to see you…”
A well of emotions she hadn’t felt in years flew up. All the frustration, confusion, and a little hint of something else, as well as anticipation hit her at once. Shame seemed to cover all of them though the more she let her thoughts wander.
“…I don’t think so…” she didn’t dare let her hopes get raised.
“Mistress… He has missed you-”
This time she was the one to cut him off, “We had some difficulties before we lost touch. I know we ended on decent terms, but I’m not sure Kaito would want to see me.”
“I disagree. I think he would very much like to hear from you again. Nakamori-san Kaito has been alright health wise, but I am afraid the years as KID have not been good for him. He tries to be as good as he can, but the men who were after his father-” she could tell the man was debating going on, “They have not made it easy for him. He travels too much, and Young Master has never been good at making friends.”
She felt a bitter laugh well up in her throat, “He was always popular in school…”
“Yes but he only spoke about you-”
She had no response for that.
She really did want to see Kaito again, even against her better judgment and knowledge what it might do to her quiet life she wondered if it wasn’t too quiet.
If he turned away from her, well she could just force herself to go back to the life she had. They were older now, and she was a full adult. Surely it would be easier, and curiosity was also tickling at her. The old man wouldn’t call her just because Kaito was lonely. People didn’t look up old contacts for friends unless something was wrong.
“Alright… Tell me when and where…”
______________________________________
She wasn’t sure why she was doing it, nor was she certain that she hadn’t completely over dressed. It wasn’t like she’d attempted anything above casual, except that after such a long time she felt that she should be dressed up to make an impression.
Not to mention her little inkling inside that screamed she wanted him think she was pretty. Thus she smoothed her blue dress for the umpteenth time, and tried to figure out whether to go in with the coat fully unbuttoned or just a few. Her hand strayed up to her hair hoping that the mess was still in place, and her frizz hadn’t gotten out of control yet, nor did she think the make up was worn off.
She forced herself to stop fidgeting and opened the door nervously. She didn’t dare put it off any longer.
The tea shop was fairly un-crowded for the early evening. She took a quick glance aground, and frowned when she didn’t see him. She wondered vaguely if maybe the whole conversation had just been some ridiculous prank, but than that seemed silly as well.
She ordered herself one of their fruit teas, and was debating about getting a crêpe when she heard the door open. She did a quick glance before finishing her order, but it wasn’t until she gave her name to the attendant that she heard one of the people who had come behind her in line stop his movement.
The jolt caused her to turn, and she found herself face to face with the man she was suppose to meet there. She had been all so ready to prep herself, and now that he had finally arrived, she felt every thought she’d so earnestly come up with fly out altogether. It took no more than a quick glance as well to know that Jii-san hadn’t informed him of who he was going to meet.
Kaito’s eyes went wide as he stared at the girl. For a moment she completely forgot what she was doing, and failed to hear the waitress call “Miss?” In some ways she found herself just as surprised as Kaito appeared to be as she faced him in line. Actually seeing him there at such a close proximity-
“Kaito-” she said more to herself than him. She was still lost at looking at his face, unaware of the woman calling again, “Miss? Are you going to pay for-”
The man didn’t speak to Aoko immediately, but rather stepped next to her and threw a smile at the server, “It’s alright. I’ll cover it- and while you’re at it I’ll have one of those teas as well, and a crêpe-” he gave a quick look to the menu, “But with chocolate and crème rather than strawberries if you will…”
The girl smiled at him shyly and nodded, “Yes sir-” she threw a glare at Aoko as she took the money Kaito handed her. Aoko on the other hand was still trying to get her bearings back before she realized she should probably protest this. She looked at the man shaking her head, “Don’t be silly you shouldn’t have to pay for this! I have it-”
She lost her words when Kaito shot her a grin and winked, “This way you have to sit down and have tea with me. I mean…” she watched as something flickered in his eyes, “Unless you don’t want to… In which case-”
She shook her head and pushed her wallet back into her purse, “No. No… I… I do. Really…” she added seeing his smile flicker. He turned back to finish getting his change and she found self looking him over.
He looked almost the same except for his clothing and the maturity on his face. He was wearing a dress shirt and slacks, in many ways reminding her almost of a businessman, or perhaps more accurately one of the American stars.
He tilted his head towards a table, and she gave a nervous smile as they headed to a more private seat in the shop. As they sat down she was better able to look at his face, and found the small differences that had etched themselves into his face.
She saw what seemed like half hidden shadows under his eyes, and wondered to herself if he applied a light coat of make up to hide them. It was the gentle shadows and lines that seemed to remind her why she was their, remind her that it was Jii who had called her there.
Except it wasn’t what bothered her the most.
As her eyes glanced over him she found herself staring at his hairline. His hair was still as messy as ever, and really had the same rolled out of bed look it did when they were in high school, except she saw a few streaks of grey blended in. Streaks that didn’t belong there if the person was still shy of thirty.
They were well hidden, but she had the dying urge to reach out and touch them. In many ways she wanted to simply push them away, or make them disappear. She wondered if Kaito had simply not noticed them, or hadn’t bothered to hide them when she knew he must have a little make up to hide the circles.
Of course she probably would have never noticed if she hadn’t been actively searching for it, really when Jii had left her staring at the phone, she hadn’t been certain what to expect. She knew even at the worst of times Kaito wasn’t one to seek solace in alcohol, or suicide. She knew she wouldn’t find him with slashes on his arms, or in a drugged state. But the small hints of exhustion led her to believe that perhaps Jii had cause to call her.
“Still as dashing as ever am I?” she was thrown out of her assessment as she heard him chuckle at her. Looking up at him she wonder exactly how long he’d noticed her staring at him… Probably a while.
A blush blossomed on her cheeks and she rolled her eyes, “Silly. It’s been a few years, you’ll have to give me a few moments to get use to seeing you as more than a gangly teen.”
He smirked, “Oh? And just look whose talking miss-I-got-curves!” His smile widened, “Bet guys finally stopped thinking you were a man…”
“Kaito!” She made a face even as he laughed at her across the table. Except she saw something in his eye as he laughed, as though the laughter didn’t quite meet them. She felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny, and couldn’t help but feel as both of them were strangers.
The bridge between them started to shrink as they talked though. They ate and drank several cups of tea forgetting in the first place why they were even there, at least until Kaito looked at his watch and said, “I completely forgot. I should probably call Jii- I was suppose to meet him here at-” he froze and looked back up at her. All at once the easy expression that had made its way across his face disappeared. Like a child who discovered mommy had been lying to him, he watched Aoko warily.
“Jii called you here didn’t he?” for a moment she wondered if he was going to bolt, and she sat precariously in her seat wondering now what?
“Mabye he did but-”
Kaito scowled and looked away from her. She saw a hint of betrayal cross his face, and anger except that a moment later it was erased. Stone. She couldn’t have figured out what he was thinking for all the jewels in Japan. “Kaito it’s not like that. He simply called and said he thought you might want to see me. He was a little worried about you-” there was the flash of annoyance again but she chose to ignore it, “Though you seem alright to me. I didn’t come because of him… I… I wanted to see you- I just wasn’t sure you wanted to see me…” she stared down at her hands where they were trembling in her lap.
“What?” apparently that was enough to jerk Kaito back to her side.
“We didn’t exactly leave on the best terms. I mean they weren’t as terrible when I found out about… well… you know… but-” she found herself looking out the window rather than meet his eye. “I didn’t think you’d want to see me, but he at least gave me the opportunity. I figured if you hated me I’d-”
“Hate you?” She was thankful their was at least an expression on his face. “Hate you? Aoko why would I hate you? You had every right to be cool towards me! With everything else going on, I figured it was probably for the best we were losing touch, but hate you?” He shoot his head in shock, “I could never hate you.”
She found herself smiling and almost unconsciously reached across to the table to grab his hand and squeeze it, “Good, because try as I might I really couldn’t hate you either, and missed you pretty badly. Do you have any idea how boring life is without you sending off fireworks, or causing a garden to grow in the middle of my kitchen?”
She saw his smile return, but the distance was back in his eyes. She wondered just how long it would be before she was able to regain his trust completely again.
Or how long before she found exactly what had happened since she’d last seen him.
They’d traded numbers and promise to all one another as the evening turned to night. She asked him if he’d stop by for dinner later the week, and somehow managed to have him agree. Apparently Jii had talked him into staying in Ekoda for a while, to take a break from his magic shows and the heists. She imagined he must’ve been doing fairly well to be able to take a vacation like that, and she didn’t really want to think about the other option.
So they began falling into old patterns, and her common boring life suddenly had a catalyst causing everything to boil up once more. She found herself going out to dinners, movies, theatre or dragged out for a meteor shower that happened to come by at two am. Sometimes he’d just stop by her apartment and annoy her for awhile, but even after a couple months of this she realized she had yet to see where he was living.
She guessed it wasn’t that odd. They weren’t dating or anything, or at least she didn’t think they were. Not that it really mattered, but there was definitely no intimacy. Sometimes Kaito reminded her more of a skittish cat, than a human. It was one of the small changes she discovered after a time. She also hadn’t been able to drag much of what he’d been doing for the last several years.
Magic shows. Heists. Everything stayed vague, and he never mentioned friends from afar. She sometimes wondered in the way he acted if he even saw many average people unless they were stage hands, fans, or Jii. Every now and then when they’d brush against each other, or she’d get too close, she thought she saw a hint of fear dart in his eyes, and like that he’d be doing something else or distract her with a shower of rose petals.
Yet it was still nice. It was nice to have him back in her life, and even with the changes and worries he brought with him she never realized how much she missed him until she realized how right it was to chase him away as she baked a batch of cookies, or managed to lean against a shoulder as they both passed out on her couch watching old movies.
But after a while she decided she was going to go to his place for once. She pried the information out of Jii, made a batch of some sweets, and on an evening she knew he shouldn’t be doing anything decided it was her turn to surprise him.
A few days earlier she’d found a few roses, and a note for later on her desk that she knew he’d put their for ambiguity’s sake. Everyone had teased her for a week, and it only got worse when he showed up later to come fetch her for dinner. Regardless of how many times she told them she wasn’t date the handsome magician, it never ceased to fail.
Of course that wasn’t really the part that bothered it her, that was the fact that everyone seemed to believe he was several years older than her, and she knew quite well that even as she ignored it there was a certain amount of truth in the statement.
At least she hadn’t seen anymore of those damned grey hairs pop up.
So it was she found herself at his quite classy apartment not really that far from her place, and began wondering how good of an idea it was. Apparently he was doing quite well in the show business given where he was living, but she couldn’t imagine that was the reason he hadn’t invited her up. Perhaps his house was a mess, or she was being completely terrible about showing up.
But Kaito was always pretty easy going, and he’d seen her apartment in shambles at this point so fair was fair.
She knocked a couple times on the door still wondering if maybe she shouldn’t just turn around and walk away. She knocked again and heard a yell of, “I’m coming! Who is it? Jii?”
“It’s me!” she called back clutching at the bag holding the snacks and still wondering how great of an idea this was.
The door was midway between opening when it stopped all at once, “Aoko?” There was something in his voice she couldn’t quite detect.
“Yeah.”
“Oh… Ah… Here… Come in give me a sec-” the door finished opening and she saw his back as he headed to the other room, “I’ll be right back! Just make yourself at home.”
She looked around and raised an eyebrow. The place was immaculate. Compared to her cluttered hovel, his place might as well be a palace. She set the bag on the coffee table and took out the container of sweets. She looked at few of the papers on the table and frowned. Articles concerning theories about KID seemed to be sorted together, and she flipped through them briefly. For the most part she’d tried to ignore them, but these were different. A few in English and several from all parts of Japan and other countries.
She flipped through the headlines.
KID More and More Daring!
Near Miss for the Japanese Lupin!
KID Taking on Darker Roles?
Kaitou KID Almost Shot!
1412 the New Daredevil?
KID Hiests Grow Increasingly Dangerous…
All the headlines seemed to be the same, and she noticed pictures showing Kaito nearly slamming into the pavement after one apparently stupid stunt. She felt her breath catch before she nearly dropped them all as she heard Kaito say, “Oh… You found those…”
She hadn’t heard him enter, but than she really shouldn’t have expected to. She gave him a sheepish grin but waved the articles in front of him shaking her head, “Kaito you’re not being reckless are you?”
The grin was another one of those that didn’t touch his eyes. She watched as his eyes stayed emotionless orbs as he darted across to steal them away from her and shove them in a drawer. “When haven’t I been reckless hmmm? I’m still hanging out with you after all, and if teasing an Inspector’s daughter isn’t reckless what is?”
She shook her head, but found her eyes searching him. For the life of her she couldn’t figure out why he’d left like that, here she’d thought most of the secrets between them were finished, except she’d known for a while now Kaito had been hiding something.
Just what she hadn’t the least clue, though she wondered if those article had something to do with it, and she was also quite aware that he’d been wearing himself thin.
“Here let me go put these in your kitchen… care to point me the way? Oh and I want a tour of this penthouse you have here…” she added with a smirk.
“I can take them…” he said trying to take them from her, but she shook her head and headed towards where she thought she saw a stove.
She heard Kaito sigh behind her as she finally found the spotless kitchen that she wondered if it had even been used. “Sheesh I wish I could keep my kitchen as clean as you,” she muttered as she set the tray down before she took out another container, “Here let me refidgerate these so they don’t go bad…”
“Ah I can-”
She stared at the inside of the thing confused. Like the kitchen it looked like it had never been used, and except for a few stray items that looked as though they’d lived there for eternity, there was absolutely nothing in their to eat.
She turned to stare at Kaito.
“…What on earth? Do you not eat?” she prodded his side and he slipped away before she could really poke him. “We’re getting groceries later before you starve…”
He let out an elongated sigh, “I eat out more than I cook.”
“Uh huh-” she closed the fridge and peeked into the equally empty freezer. Without giving him a chance to protest she started looking through the cupboards, “Kaito you don’t even have instant ramen! What do you think you’re doing? Turning into a ghost?”
He sighed and reached across to pull her arm down, “Idiot I’m out most of the time. It’s not like I need much here unless it’s to sleep.”
She didn’t know if she quite believed him, but decided it would have to do. Still, “Regardless we’re still getting you at least a few vegetables or fruits… or next time I’m making you take me to a sushi bar.” She smiled as the threat still made him shudder.
In the end she let him lead her out of the kitchen and forced him to take her around the giant place. To her surprise it even had a second floor, and a guest room he said he’d left open for Jii and his mom. There was an office as well as a small room acting as a library. Last he grudgingly showed her the room that opened into the balcony on the other side of his room. This one held his magic tricks, as well as she figured his hidden KID stuff. She had to smile that there were roses growing along his balcony wall. She found herself shaking her head in awe at him. “This is amazing Kaito, and you choose to spend your time at my place?”
He shrugged looking uncomfortable, “Yours is cozier. I’m not even certain why I got this place. Jii found it for me, and I didn’t really care too much at the time. It feels more like a place to sleep than anything-”
“You’ve got to be joking me-” she found herself staring at him as though he really had cracked. “This is… beautiful! I’m coming back to make you dinner later this week, your apartment deserves some love.” She smiled at him, but only received a vague grin back. She let hers drop as she started to worry, “You’re… you’re not mad I made Jii tell me where it was are you? I wanted to get revenge for what you pulled last week at work, and well you never invited me up-”
He gave her a weak smile, “No. I’m just a bit surprised that’s all. It’s fine… so you like it?”
“Yeah. Love it-” she smiled at him. “Though I do admit I thought it would be a bit messier. Makes my place look like a complete pigsty.”
He shook his head, “Yours actually looks lived in, I feel like mine is a museum or something at times.” He smiled at her again as they sat down on the couch to talk a while.
She didn’t really think of anything else out of place until she asked to use the restroom, and noticed something odd as she washed her hands. The medicine compartment was open underneath the mirror partially, and she peeked in after seeing a prescription for something. She was quite aware she was snooping, but the fact she thought she’d seen a couple bottles of prescription painkillers confused her.
She didn’t expect to see several bottles of not only codeine, hydrocodone and Vicodin, but several types of sleeping aides, as well as a few sedatives.
She suspected perhaps one bottle of painkillers might be expected, or maybe even a two given his night job, and perhaps a valium to calm him if something really serious had to be done. But the sleeping aides as well? And this much? She knew the prescriptions couldn’t be entirely legal either, not with this number of pills.
She realized her hand was shaking, and she wasn’t sure what to do as she read them.
Why would Kaito need them? He wasn’t injured, and he didn’t act like he was drugged, at least when she saw him.
She heard a knock and, “Are you okay in there?”
“Huh? Oh yeah I’m done sorry I…” She opened the door but realized one of the bottles was still on the table. Kaito must have noticed it because she saw his eyes flash to where it was, and found herself wincing as something dark passed over his face.
“Uh… your cabinent was open, and I just…”
She was surprised when he chuckled, “…You don’t really think I’m a druggie now do you?”
She blushed and suddenly felt ashamed, “Well I do admit I was surprised at the amount of pills in them…”
He crossed to the counter and held up the sleeping aides she’d left out, “ I have difficulty getting to sleep sometimes, so I thought I’d try these for a while. I don’t really like using them much, but Jii thought it might help me. They make me more exhausted than if I went without though, so on a whole I just deal with it. The painkillers were from when I got shot about a year ago-” he saw her eyes widened and shook his head, “It’s not as bad as it sounds. Just a shoulder wound, and completely healed now. We decided it was better to keep a good supply on hand though, as well as the sedatives just in case. I didn’t handle it so well at the time…”
It made sense to Aoko, but than she didn’t really want to see anything else. The other thoughts were too off, too wild, and so unlike Kaito. She knew he was still hiding something, but it did make sense. And it wasn’t like he would never eat, or never sleep. He’d crashed on her couch more than once, and they usually caught some food a few days in a week so she was certain he did have some substance.
She still held onto her doubts though, and decided she wait and see what happened. It wasn’t like he would disappear one her again.
At least she thought so.
For now at least, things seemed to stay normal.
So everything fell back into the same pattern for months. He still mostly hung out at her place, but she’d sometimes find herself crashing at his if they were up late. Dinners, game night, everything stayed exactly he same. He was still the perfect gentleman, and it wasn’t much longer before she realized exactly how much her feelings toward him were changing.
Rather than a best friend who might be a romantic interest, she became quite aware she was starting to fall completely in love with him. For the most part she managed to ignore it, but sometimes she found herself through him glances at him.
Except that he never made a sigh, never showed a thought that he might feel the same way. Of course she never saw him with another girl, or guy for that matter, but still…
Perhaps that was what really did it…
He was leaving her apartment one evening, and they’d both had a little sake with dinner. She felt comfortable, and he was leaving her at the door when she found herself staring up at him. He looked less tired than usual, and right then she thought she saw that same sparkle his eyes had held all through their younger days.
Without really thinking she found herself leaning up after a good night, and pulling him into a kiss. Initially she found his arm hesitantly sliding up her side, and his other hand almost touching her cheek. She felt his lips lean into hers, and felt about to lean further in-
Until he pulled away with a start.
His eyes were wide with shock and surprise, and confusion was written all across his face. She saw he was trembling slightly, just like her, and he shook his head.
“No…”
“Kaito-”
“I can’t…” he whispered turning around. “Sorry…”
“I did something wrong…” she whispered to his turned back.
He was still shaking his head, “No… its not… I’m sorry. I’ll… I’ll call you later alright? Good night…”
And like that he was gone.
She found herself in her room later hitting herself over the head with the pillow for being so stupid. She couldn’t believe she let her emotions get away with her like that. She knew Kaito was still skittish sometimes around her, but she’d been dumb enough to throw it all to the wind and suddenly she was terrified she’d lose him.
If he left her for good this time…
She’d rather spend a lifetime just the way they had been, rather than lose it all for one stupid moment.
Her whole night was spent tossing and turning, and she managed to get a couple hours of sleep before waking up ridiculously early and deciding she was going to go over to Kaito’s for breakfast and set things right. She’d apologize, and tell him she’d been slightly tipsy and didn’t know what she’d been doing and never mention it again.
Surely he’d understand.
She got dressed quickly, and tried to make herself presentable as she darted out of her apartment. She hoped he wouldn’t be too frustrated that it was so early, and knowing him he was probably still sleeping but she didn’t want him to take off for another part of the world or something because of her stupid fan girlish mistake.
How could she just do that? Act like another of those stupid girls who found themselves love stricken by the thief or magician? Just force herself on him as though it were nothing…
She felt terrible, especially when they’d only seen each other again for such a small time, and she knew Kaito was still keeping something from her…
For all she knew he had a wife in another country or something. Maybe a child he’d failed to mention…
Which was even more ridiculous as she thought about it, but still.
Somehow she found the courage to bang on his door though, and call on him regardless. Her fear of losing him overcame her fear of what he might tell her, even if it was “I don’t love you.” People did stupid things in love, and well… she’d put whatever hopes she had on the line if it meant she could at least hold on to her best friend for a bit longer.
She banged again and there was still no answer. Hesitantly she tried the handle and she heard a muffled, “Just come in…” from the other room as she opened it.
“Jii that’s-” Kaito walked into the room and she found herself staring at him as he stood their sleepily in his pajama pants and a button up shirt that he was still sliding on. “A… Aoko-” he said stammering.
She was too busy staring at his chest to really notice. She realized at once that she hadn’t really seen him out of a medium sleeved shirt since she met him in the tea shop, and never with his shirt open. He turned when he saw her eyes on him and tried to hastily button them up, but she was across the room and had grabbed his arm.
“Dammit Aoko don’t-” she heard him snap.
She didn’t care at that point.
Suddenly she was well aware of the first time she’d seen his fridge empty, and all those painkillers in the bathroom. She wondered how she’d let it all slide by so easily. She thought about all the times he wouldn’t lean too close to her, or let her wrap her arms around him so easily… and no wonder.
He might as well be a skeleton.
The scars that he had on his shoulder, and a few crisscrossing his torso were nothing to the way his ribs popped out. She only wondered what he had looked like months ago before she started to feed him.
It was only then she thought to look up, and noticed he apparently hadn’t had time to put the cover up make up she’d almost forgotten about at this time.
Dark circles were under his eyes, his hair a mess with the grey more obvious than ever, and he looked gaunt and exhausted.
She realized she was shaking with anger.
“God Kaito… what have you done to yourself?”
He turned away to try to finish buttoning his shirt but she clung to his arm, “Don’t you dare turn away from me! No wonder Jii called!! You lied didn’t you? You have been downing those pills too!”
He winced, “No… I… not all. Sometimes I’ll take a couple of the painkillers, but only the sleeping meds really if I need the sleep. I… It’s not easy to get rest without them…”
“And do you eat? If I’m not here? Kaito you look like a skeleton! Do you not care? What are you trying to do? Kill yourself? All those articles-” she wondered if he really was. If he was doing heists like this, and being stupid enough to almost crash land his glider.
“It… It doesn’t matter Aoko-”
“Do you not think I’d care? That you’re mother would care? Jii? You’re being selfish!! Kaito you-” he pulled away and swerved to stare at her. She’d never seen Kaito really angry before, not even when she’d last screamed at him all those horrible things.
Never like this as his eyes blazed, and he looked as though he might as well be dying. She’d never seen him break poker face like this…
“It doesn’t matter alright!” he shouted at her fiercely. “Why do you even stay near me? Why do you try Aoko? Dammit how could you kiss me?” He took a few more steps away and shook his head, “You hated me remember!? What changed huh? I deserve this… Do you know how many lives I’ve ruined? Yours, Mom’s, your fathers…” he shook as he spoke. “And I’d finish it if I could find Pandora. I’d stop but I can’t find the damn gem. Its no where. I’ve gone all around the world and she doesn’t even exist, and I can’t stop because if she does and they get it-” she realized he was trembling harder.
“Kaito-” she whispered hoarsely, except now that he let it out he couldn’t stop.
“And they all think… they all think KID’s some phantom. That he can just keep going, and I try. I try as Kaito and I try as KID. I’ve hidden the fact I can’t sleep at night, because every time I close my eyes its like I’m just waiting for them to come and finally know its me, and for them to kill me just like they did Dad. Or for the news to come that they decided to go after Mom or Jii… or… or You…” he looked away from her. “I… I wish I’d never returned then, and so I down the damn pills because at least then I’m so knocked out I don’t dream usually.”
Her eyes were wide and she was aware that tears were building up, just like her anger was nearly as strong as the horror she was feeling. Suddenly she understood everything much clearer…
He laughed hoarsely, “They never seem to realize that when you take something like this on you have to do it alone. I… I don’t dare bring anyone else into the mess because I don’t dare. I’ve traveled alone for so long now, unless its with Jii.” He hung his head, “And then I saw you all those months ago and forgot what it was like. But when you kissed me last night I realized-”
“So you’re going to run off again? And what? Get yourself killed?” she was nearly screaming as her anger poured out of her. “Kaito look at this!” she grabbed for his shirt opening it up, “No wonder Jii made you take some time off!! You cant’ do heists like this. I know you’ve been hiding those circles with make up, but have you seen the grey in your hair?” She reached up and finally fingered the wisps gently. She saw him close his eyes.
“You’re not even thirty Kaito… You’re not suppose to have grey this early. You’re wearing yourself out, and you still have years to find Pandora-”
“I wanted to be able to retire KID by then…” he told her softly. “I… I thought I might be able to put the cloak aside, and I didn’t want to see you until I could swear it was over. I admit I was angry when Jii called you before, but… I missed you-” she realized his arms had wrapped around her and he’d buried his head in her anger.
She felt like she was suddenly holding a very smile child, and her anger simply evaporated. They were both still so young, and here was a young man who had seen and done more than most people would in a lifetime, and done so completely alone.
Idiot.
Finally she asked softly as she found herself stroking his hair comfortingly, “Then… then you don’t hate me?” She was reminded of when they had first seen each other after such a long time and she’d asked him that same question.
She felt him pull away and look at her, she could almost swear the sparkle was returning to his eyes again and he shook his head. “Haven’t you been listening to a word I said?”
“But you said-”
“Aoko I love you.” The words were sharp and almost cold in someway, except that he was still looking at her as though he was waiting for her verdict.
She found that her pulse was speeding up again and she felt a rush to her brain, “But last night-”
“I was scared. For that matter I’m still scared. If I were to lose you, I don’t know what I’d do. Damn you just saw what I’ve done to myself. I’m not stupid, but…” he shook his head. “I’m not the prize everyone things, and I’m definitely not deserving of you. You should have someone better, and I didn’t want you to find out. Not like this. It’s bad enough I’m KID but-”
She stepped forward and wrapped her arms back around him. It still scared her how thin he was, and how well he’d managed to conceal it from her for so long. Well he was very mistaken if he thought he was going to get away with it now.
“You’re the stupidest person I know… you realize that right?”
She could almost feel him smile as his arms wrapped hesitantly around her. She snuggled into his chest further and sighed, “Oh and if you even consider going anywhere your going to find a very angry woman at your next heist with a mop, if I have to knock you out with it and drag you back here by your ear. That or I’ll see to it they put the gem in the middle of a very large aquarium.”
“You’re a cruel, cruel individual… you realize that right?”
“Mmmm but you love me, so you’ll forgive me right?”
She heard him snort, but he didn’t refute the point.
When they finally pulled apart Aoko sighed and looked around the apartment, “I don’t know what Dad’s going to do when I tell him I’m moving in here… but I guess he’ll get use to it-”
Kaito nearly fell over causing her lips to turn up in a smile as he made odd noises of protest.
“What? You think I’m honestly letting you live alone after what I just found out? You have a guest room anyway, and I’m pretty sure you just said you loved me. Not to mention as much as you end up passing out at my place you can’t argue about propriety. You’re apartment’s nicer than mine anyway-” she added smiling.
“….I don’t have a say?”
“Not really no. Think of it as revenge for failing to mention you were wasting away into a corpse.”
“….”
And like that things were suddenly alright, or at least mostly. It felt more like they had in a long time, even if she was still angry at his damn reckless behavior. Except that as much as he complained as she began discussing where she’d put her things, she was also well aware of the color back in his face and way his eyes kept the sparkle she’d seen earlier.
And for the first time in a long time, she really did believe that maybe, just maybe, everything would turn out alright.
A/N: I might have to re write the last 1/3 of this… it didn’t really turn out like I thought… but oh well… we’ll see ^^;;
Author: Fyliwion
Fandom: Magic Kaitou
Pairing: Aoko/Kaito
Theme: Feb 25- "What are kings, when regiment is gone?"
Rating: Pg-13
Disclaimer: Gosho’s characters…. I just abuse them
Life was ordinary. Not dull per-say, but common. She woke up every day at about seven to head to her job, worked from nine to five, would stop by some place to pick up dinner and then go home. Often on the weekends she would visit her father, or in the evening go their to make dinner instead, but usually it was too much trouble to make supper for one.
Her evenings might be interspersed with dates, trips to the gym, friends, parties with co-workers, or any other little event that might intercept her life. Nothing eventful filled the crevasses, and at times she would even crave the more crazy antics that seemed to follow her in high school.
On the worse days she’d find herself thinking about Kaito, and how she was positive his life was probably bursting with excitement. No doubt he was reveling in the joys that his freedom gave him. While she sat at home and watched variety shows on the television, he was still probably off seeing the world.
If nothing else those heists of his had to make life interesting, except it had been a long time since a KID heist had been anywhere near Ekoda, and at that point she’d even accept one of those to break up the monotony.
So it was that she found herself coming home to her empty apartment one Friday night, she decided to just order a pizza and plop down in front of the T.V. to amuse herself with another of those pointless shows or melodramas, when the phone rang.
She tried to puzzle out who would be calling. Her father was suppose to be at work until later, and Keiko had a date. It was far too late for her to have to go back to the office, and her last boyfriend had broken up with her months ago. She suspected it was either a telemarketer or bad news, and she didn’t really want to deal with either, but against her better judgment picked up the phone.
“Moshi moshi?”
“Ah… Is this Nakamori Aoko speaking?”
She froze as she held the phone, and her mind raced. The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but for whatever reason she couldn’t quite place it. It also put her nerves on end for some reason, like she knew somehow the conversation was going to jar her nice settled life, and put it back in the mixing bowl. Not that she minded that too much exactly but-
“…Umm yes? May I-”
“Nakamori-san!” She found herself cut off as the voice of the older man went on, “Ah… You won’t remember me I imagine. But well… I was an old family friend of the Kurobas-”
Her heart doubled its time, and a flash of irreational fear ran through her. Every worse possible ancedote went through her head. Kaito was dead, dying, hurt, paralyzed, been caught, his mother was on her death bed, and Kaito was broke. She hadn’t talked to her childhood friend in years, but all at once she found herself worrying about him as though she’d seen him yesterday.
“Is Kaito alright? He’s not hurt or-”
“What? Oh- No… He’s not… That is he’s not hurt. Young Master’s-” there was a long pause and finally, “Young Master’s doing… well…though like you have suspected I’m certain, he is the reason I have called.” She could hear the hesitation on the other line, and she realized the old man seemed slightly unsure of calling.
She frowned to herself and suddenly found herself irritated. How dare that impetutant boy try to, “Did Kaito tell you to call? If he did well you can just tell him to put himself on the line! What did he do to find this number anyway? Hack into the police files or-”
Again the man cut her off with his protests, “No! No no! Little Master had no idea I called at all, or he’d be quite angry if he thought I had. No he had no idea, and ah… well I confess I may have had to do some research to find it but I was truly hoping to speak with you.”
Aoko listened to his voice and felt a grudging belief nudge at her. Perhaps the man was telling the truth, or at least he was quite a good actor. She might as well hear him out, “Alright… I think I believe you. What about Kaito than if he’s doing alright?”
There was another pause as the man let out a long sigh, “You see. Little Master is actually in town, and well… I know he hasn’t spoken to you in a long while, but I hoped that you might be willing to visit him, or see him. I could possibly arrange it, and well… I think he would really like to see you…”
A well of emotions she hadn’t felt in years flew up. All the frustration, confusion, and a little hint of something else, as well as anticipation hit her at once. Shame seemed to cover all of them though the more she let her thoughts wander.
“…I don’t think so…” she didn’t dare let her hopes get raised.
“Mistress… He has missed you-”
This time she was the one to cut him off, “We had some difficulties before we lost touch. I know we ended on decent terms, but I’m not sure Kaito would want to see me.”
“I disagree. I think he would very much like to hear from you again. Nakamori-san Kaito has been alright health wise, but I am afraid the years as KID have not been good for him. He tries to be as good as he can, but the men who were after his father-” she could tell the man was debating going on, “They have not made it easy for him. He travels too much, and Young Master has never been good at making friends.”
She felt a bitter laugh well up in her throat, “He was always popular in school…”
“Yes but he only spoke about you-”
She had no response for that.
She really did want to see Kaito again, even against her better judgment and knowledge what it might do to her quiet life she wondered if it wasn’t too quiet.
If he turned away from her, well she could just force herself to go back to the life she had. They were older now, and she was a full adult. Surely it would be easier, and curiosity was also tickling at her. The old man wouldn’t call her just because Kaito was lonely. People didn’t look up old contacts for friends unless something was wrong.
“Alright… Tell me when and where…”
______________________________________
She wasn’t sure why she was doing it, nor was she certain that she hadn’t completely over dressed. It wasn’t like she’d attempted anything above casual, except that after such a long time she felt that she should be dressed up to make an impression.
Not to mention her little inkling inside that screamed she wanted him think she was pretty. Thus she smoothed her blue dress for the umpteenth time, and tried to figure out whether to go in with the coat fully unbuttoned or just a few. Her hand strayed up to her hair hoping that the mess was still in place, and her frizz hadn’t gotten out of control yet, nor did she think the make up was worn off.
She forced herself to stop fidgeting and opened the door nervously. She didn’t dare put it off any longer.
The tea shop was fairly un-crowded for the early evening. She took a quick glance aground, and frowned when she didn’t see him. She wondered vaguely if maybe the whole conversation had just been some ridiculous prank, but than that seemed silly as well.
She ordered herself one of their fruit teas, and was debating about getting a crêpe when she heard the door open. She did a quick glance before finishing her order, but it wasn’t until she gave her name to the attendant that she heard one of the people who had come behind her in line stop his movement.
The jolt caused her to turn, and she found herself face to face with the man she was suppose to meet there. She had been all so ready to prep herself, and now that he had finally arrived, she felt every thought she’d so earnestly come up with fly out altogether. It took no more than a quick glance as well to know that Jii-san hadn’t informed him of who he was going to meet.
Kaito’s eyes went wide as he stared at the girl. For a moment she completely forgot what she was doing, and failed to hear the waitress call “Miss?” In some ways she found herself just as surprised as Kaito appeared to be as she faced him in line. Actually seeing him there at such a close proximity-
“Kaito-” she said more to herself than him. She was still lost at looking at his face, unaware of the woman calling again, “Miss? Are you going to pay for-”
The man didn’t speak to Aoko immediately, but rather stepped next to her and threw a smile at the server, “It’s alright. I’ll cover it- and while you’re at it I’ll have one of those teas as well, and a crêpe-” he gave a quick look to the menu, “But with chocolate and crème rather than strawberries if you will…”
The girl smiled at him shyly and nodded, “Yes sir-” she threw a glare at Aoko as she took the money Kaito handed her. Aoko on the other hand was still trying to get her bearings back before she realized she should probably protest this. She looked at the man shaking her head, “Don’t be silly you shouldn’t have to pay for this! I have it-”
She lost her words when Kaito shot her a grin and winked, “This way you have to sit down and have tea with me. I mean…” she watched as something flickered in his eyes, “Unless you don’t want to… In which case-”
She shook her head and pushed her wallet back into her purse, “No. No… I… I do. Really…” she added seeing his smile flicker. He turned back to finish getting his change and she found self looking him over.
He looked almost the same except for his clothing and the maturity on his face. He was wearing a dress shirt and slacks, in many ways reminding her almost of a businessman, or perhaps more accurately one of the American stars.
He tilted his head towards a table, and she gave a nervous smile as they headed to a more private seat in the shop. As they sat down she was better able to look at his face, and found the small differences that had etched themselves into his face.
She saw what seemed like half hidden shadows under his eyes, and wondered to herself if he applied a light coat of make up to hide them. It was the gentle shadows and lines that seemed to remind her why she was their, remind her that it was Jii who had called her there.
Except it wasn’t what bothered her the most.
As her eyes glanced over him she found herself staring at his hairline. His hair was still as messy as ever, and really had the same rolled out of bed look it did when they were in high school, except she saw a few streaks of grey blended in. Streaks that didn’t belong there if the person was still shy of thirty.
They were well hidden, but she had the dying urge to reach out and touch them. In many ways she wanted to simply push them away, or make them disappear. She wondered if Kaito had simply not noticed them, or hadn’t bothered to hide them when she knew he must have a little make up to hide the circles.
Of course she probably would have never noticed if she hadn’t been actively searching for it, really when Jii had left her staring at the phone, she hadn’t been certain what to expect. She knew even at the worst of times Kaito wasn’t one to seek solace in alcohol, or suicide. She knew she wouldn’t find him with slashes on his arms, or in a drugged state. But the small hints of exhustion led her to believe that perhaps Jii had cause to call her.
“Still as dashing as ever am I?” she was thrown out of her assessment as she heard him chuckle at her. Looking up at him she wonder exactly how long he’d noticed her staring at him… Probably a while.
A blush blossomed on her cheeks and she rolled her eyes, “Silly. It’s been a few years, you’ll have to give me a few moments to get use to seeing you as more than a gangly teen.”
He smirked, “Oh? And just look whose talking miss-I-got-curves!” His smile widened, “Bet guys finally stopped thinking you were a man…”
“Kaito!” She made a face even as he laughed at her across the table. Except she saw something in his eye as he laughed, as though the laughter didn’t quite meet them. She felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny, and couldn’t help but feel as both of them were strangers.
The bridge between them started to shrink as they talked though. They ate and drank several cups of tea forgetting in the first place why they were even there, at least until Kaito looked at his watch and said, “I completely forgot. I should probably call Jii- I was suppose to meet him here at-” he froze and looked back up at her. All at once the easy expression that had made its way across his face disappeared. Like a child who discovered mommy had been lying to him, he watched Aoko warily.
“Jii called you here didn’t he?” for a moment she wondered if he was going to bolt, and she sat precariously in her seat wondering now what?
“Mabye he did but-”
Kaito scowled and looked away from her. She saw a hint of betrayal cross his face, and anger except that a moment later it was erased. Stone. She couldn’t have figured out what he was thinking for all the jewels in Japan. “Kaito it’s not like that. He simply called and said he thought you might want to see me. He was a little worried about you-” there was the flash of annoyance again but she chose to ignore it, “Though you seem alright to me. I didn’t come because of him… I… I wanted to see you- I just wasn’t sure you wanted to see me…” she stared down at her hands where they were trembling in her lap.
“What?” apparently that was enough to jerk Kaito back to her side.
“We didn’t exactly leave on the best terms. I mean they weren’t as terrible when I found out about… well… you know… but-” she found herself looking out the window rather than meet his eye. “I didn’t think you’d want to see me, but he at least gave me the opportunity. I figured if you hated me I’d-”
“Hate you?” She was thankful their was at least an expression on his face. “Hate you? Aoko why would I hate you? You had every right to be cool towards me! With everything else going on, I figured it was probably for the best we were losing touch, but hate you?” He shoot his head in shock, “I could never hate you.”
She found herself smiling and almost unconsciously reached across to the table to grab his hand and squeeze it, “Good, because try as I might I really couldn’t hate you either, and missed you pretty badly. Do you have any idea how boring life is without you sending off fireworks, or causing a garden to grow in the middle of my kitchen?”
She saw his smile return, but the distance was back in his eyes. She wondered just how long it would be before she was able to regain his trust completely again.
Or how long before she found exactly what had happened since she’d last seen him.
They’d traded numbers and promise to all one another as the evening turned to night. She asked him if he’d stop by for dinner later the week, and somehow managed to have him agree. Apparently Jii had talked him into staying in Ekoda for a while, to take a break from his magic shows and the heists. She imagined he must’ve been doing fairly well to be able to take a vacation like that, and she didn’t really want to think about the other option.
So they began falling into old patterns, and her common boring life suddenly had a catalyst causing everything to boil up once more. She found herself going out to dinners, movies, theatre or dragged out for a meteor shower that happened to come by at two am. Sometimes he’d just stop by her apartment and annoy her for awhile, but even after a couple months of this she realized she had yet to see where he was living.
She guessed it wasn’t that odd. They weren’t dating or anything, or at least she didn’t think they were. Not that it really mattered, but there was definitely no intimacy. Sometimes Kaito reminded her more of a skittish cat, than a human. It was one of the small changes she discovered after a time. She also hadn’t been able to drag much of what he’d been doing for the last several years.
Magic shows. Heists. Everything stayed vague, and he never mentioned friends from afar. She sometimes wondered in the way he acted if he even saw many average people unless they were stage hands, fans, or Jii. Every now and then when they’d brush against each other, or she’d get too close, she thought she saw a hint of fear dart in his eyes, and like that he’d be doing something else or distract her with a shower of rose petals.
Yet it was still nice. It was nice to have him back in her life, and even with the changes and worries he brought with him she never realized how much she missed him until she realized how right it was to chase him away as she baked a batch of cookies, or managed to lean against a shoulder as they both passed out on her couch watching old movies.
But after a while she decided she was going to go to his place for once. She pried the information out of Jii, made a batch of some sweets, and on an evening she knew he shouldn’t be doing anything decided it was her turn to surprise him.
A few days earlier she’d found a few roses, and a note for later on her desk that she knew he’d put their for ambiguity’s sake. Everyone had teased her for a week, and it only got worse when he showed up later to come fetch her for dinner. Regardless of how many times she told them she wasn’t date the handsome magician, it never ceased to fail.
Of course that wasn’t really the part that bothered it her, that was the fact that everyone seemed to believe he was several years older than her, and she knew quite well that even as she ignored it there was a certain amount of truth in the statement.
At least she hadn’t seen anymore of those damned grey hairs pop up.
So it was she found herself at his quite classy apartment not really that far from her place, and began wondering how good of an idea it was. Apparently he was doing quite well in the show business given where he was living, but she couldn’t imagine that was the reason he hadn’t invited her up. Perhaps his house was a mess, or she was being completely terrible about showing up.
But Kaito was always pretty easy going, and he’d seen her apartment in shambles at this point so fair was fair.
She knocked a couple times on the door still wondering if maybe she shouldn’t just turn around and walk away. She knocked again and heard a yell of, “I’m coming! Who is it? Jii?”
“It’s me!” she called back clutching at the bag holding the snacks and still wondering how great of an idea this was.
The door was midway between opening when it stopped all at once, “Aoko?” There was something in his voice she couldn’t quite detect.
“Yeah.”
“Oh… Ah… Here… Come in give me a sec-” the door finished opening and she saw his back as he headed to the other room, “I’ll be right back! Just make yourself at home.”
She looked around and raised an eyebrow. The place was immaculate. Compared to her cluttered hovel, his place might as well be a palace. She set the bag on the coffee table and took out the container of sweets. She looked at few of the papers on the table and frowned. Articles concerning theories about KID seemed to be sorted together, and she flipped through them briefly. For the most part she’d tried to ignore them, but these were different. A few in English and several from all parts of Japan and other countries.
She flipped through the headlines.
KID More and More Daring!
Near Miss for the Japanese Lupin!
KID Taking on Darker Roles?
Kaitou KID Almost Shot!
1412 the New Daredevil?
KID Hiests Grow Increasingly Dangerous…
All the headlines seemed to be the same, and she noticed pictures showing Kaito nearly slamming into the pavement after one apparently stupid stunt. She felt her breath catch before she nearly dropped them all as she heard Kaito say, “Oh… You found those…”
She hadn’t heard him enter, but than she really shouldn’t have expected to. She gave him a sheepish grin but waved the articles in front of him shaking her head, “Kaito you’re not being reckless are you?”
The grin was another one of those that didn’t touch his eyes. She watched as his eyes stayed emotionless orbs as he darted across to steal them away from her and shove them in a drawer. “When haven’t I been reckless hmmm? I’m still hanging out with you after all, and if teasing an Inspector’s daughter isn’t reckless what is?”
She shook her head, but found her eyes searching him. For the life of her she couldn’t figure out why he’d left like that, here she’d thought most of the secrets between them were finished, except she’d known for a while now Kaito had been hiding something.
Just what she hadn’t the least clue, though she wondered if those article had something to do with it, and she was also quite aware that he’d been wearing himself thin.
“Here let me go put these in your kitchen… care to point me the way? Oh and I want a tour of this penthouse you have here…” she added with a smirk.
“I can take them…” he said trying to take them from her, but she shook her head and headed towards where she thought she saw a stove.
She heard Kaito sigh behind her as she finally found the spotless kitchen that she wondered if it had even been used. “Sheesh I wish I could keep my kitchen as clean as you,” she muttered as she set the tray down before she took out another container, “Here let me refidgerate these so they don’t go bad…”
“Ah I can-”
She stared at the inside of the thing confused. Like the kitchen it looked like it had never been used, and except for a few stray items that looked as though they’d lived there for eternity, there was absolutely nothing in their to eat.
She turned to stare at Kaito.
“…What on earth? Do you not eat?” she prodded his side and he slipped away before she could really poke him. “We’re getting groceries later before you starve…”
He let out an elongated sigh, “I eat out more than I cook.”
“Uh huh-” she closed the fridge and peeked into the equally empty freezer. Without giving him a chance to protest she started looking through the cupboards, “Kaito you don’t even have instant ramen! What do you think you’re doing? Turning into a ghost?”
He sighed and reached across to pull her arm down, “Idiot I’m out most of the time. It’s not like I need much here unless it’s to sleep.”
She didn’t know if she quite believed him, but decided it would have to do. Still, “Regardless we’re still getting you at least a few vegetables or fruits… or next time I’m making you take me to a sushi bar.” She smiled as the threat still made him shudder.
In the end she let him lead her out of the kitchen and forced him to take her around the giant place. To her surprise it even had a second floor, and a guest room he said he’d left open for Jii and his mom. There was an office as well as a small room acting as a library. Last he grudgingly showed her the room that opened into the balcony on the other side of his room. This one held his magic tricks, as well as she figured his hidden KID stuff. She had to smile that there were roses growing along his balcony wall. She found herself shaking her head in awe at him. “This is amazing Kaito, and you choose to spend your time at my place?”
He shrugged looking uncomfortable, “Yours is cozier. I’m not even certain why I got this place. Jii found it for me, and I didn’t really care too much at the time. It feels more like a place to sleep than anything-”
“You’ve got to be joking me-” she found herself staring at him as though he really had cracked. “This is… beautiful! I’m coming back to make you dinner later this week, your apartment deserves some love.” She smiled at him, but only received a vague grin back. She let hers drop as she started to worry, “You’re… you’re not mad I made Jii tell me where it was are you? I wanted to get revenge for what you pulled last week at work, and well you never invited me up-”
He gave her a weak smile, “No. I’m just a bit surprised that’s all. It’s fine… so you like it?”
“Yeah. Love it-” she smiled at him. “Though I do admit I thought it would be a bit messier. Makes my place look like a complete pigsty.”
He shook his head, “Yours actually looks lived in, I feel like mine is a museum or something at times.” He smiled at her again as they sat down on the couch to talk a while.
She didn’t really think of anything else out of place until she asked to use the restroom, and noticed something odd as she washed her hands. The medicine compartment was open underneath the mirror partially, and she peeked in after seeing a prescription for something. She was quite aware she was snooping, but the fact she thought she’d seen a couple bottles of prescription painkillers confused her.
She didn’t expect to see several bottles of not only codeine, hydrocodone and Vicodin, but several types of sleeping aides, as well as a few sedatives.
She suspected perhaps one bottle of painkillers might be expected, or maybe even a two given his night job, and perhaps a valium to calm him if something really serious had to be done. But the sleeping aides as well? And this much? She knew the prescriptions couldn’t be entirely legal either, not with this number of pills.
She realized her hand was shaking, and she wasn’t sure what to do as she read them.
Why would Kaito need them? He wasn’t injured, and he didn’t act like he was drugged, at least when she saw him.
She heard a knock and, “Are you okay in there?”
“Huh? Oh yeah I’m done sorry I…” She opened the door but realized one of the bottles was still on the table. Kaito must have noticed it because she saw his eyes flash to where it was, and found herself wincing as something dark passed over his face.
“Uh… your cabinent was open, and I just…”
She was surprised when he chuckled, “…You don’t really think I’m a druggie now do you?”
She blushed and suddenly felt ashamed, “Well I do admit I was surprised at the amount of pills in them…”
He crossed to the counter and held up the sleeping aides she’d left out, “ I have difficulty getting to sleep sometimes, so I thought I’d try these for a while. I don’t really like using them much, but Jii thought it might help me. They make me more exhausted than if I went without though, so on a whole I just deal with it. The painkillers were from when I got shot about a year ago-” he saw her eyes widened and shook his head, “It’s not as bad as it sounds. Just a shoulder wound, and completely healed now. We decided it was better to keep a good supply on hand though, as well as the sedatives just in case. I didn’t handle it so well at the time…”
It made sense to Aoko, but than she didn’t really want to see anything else. The other thoughts were too off, too wild, and so unlike Kaito. She knew he was still hiding something, but it did make sense. And it wasn’t like he would never eat, or never sleep. He’d crashed on her couch more than once, and they usually caught some food a few days in a week so she was certain he did have some substance.
She still held onto her doubts though, and decided she wait and see what happened. It wasn’t like he would disappear one her again.
At least she thought so.
For now at least, things seemed to stay normal.
So everything fell back into the same pattern for months. He still mostly hung out at her place, but she’d sometimes find herself crashing at his if they were up late. Dinners, game night, everything stayed exactly he same. He was still the perfect gentleman, and it wasn’t much longer before she realized exactly how much her feelings toward him were changing.
Rather than a best friend who might be a romantic interest, she became quite aware she was starting to fall completely in love with him. For the most part she managed to ignore it, but sometimes she found herself through him glances at him.
Except that he never made a sigh, never showed a thought that he might feel the same way. Of course she never saw him with another girl, or guy for that matter, but still…
Perhaps that was what really did it…
He was leaving her apartment one evening, and they’d both had a little sake with dinner. She felt comfortable, and he was leaving her at the door when she found herself staring up at him. He looked less tired than usual, and right then she thought she saw that same sparkle his eyes had held all through their younger days.
Without really thinking she found herself leaning up after a good night, and pulling him into a kiss. Initially she found his arm hesitantly sliding up her side, and his other hand almost touching her cheek. She felt his lips lean into hers, and felt about to lean further in-
Until he pulled away with a start.
His eyes were wide with shock and surprise, and confusion was written all across his face. She saw he was trembling slightly, just like her, and he shook his head.
“No…”
“Kaito-”
“I can’t…” he whispered turning around. “Sorry…”
“I did something wrong…” she whispered to his turned back.
He was still shaking his head, “No… its not… I’m sorry. I’ll… I’ll call you later alright? Good night…”
And like that he was gone.
She found herself in her room later hitting herself over the head with the pillow for being so stupid. She couldn’t believe she let her emotions get away with her like that. She knew Kaito was still skittish sometimes around her, but she’d been dumb enough to throw it all to the wind and suddenly she was terrified she’d lose him.
If he left her for good this time…
She’d rather spend a lifetime just the way they had been, rather than lose it all for one stupid moment.
Her whole night was spent tossing and turning, and she managed to get a couple hours of sleep before waking up ridiculously early and deciding she was going to go over to Kaito’s for breakfast and set things right. She’d apologize, and tell him she’d been slightly tipsy and didn’t know what she’d been doing and never mention it again.
Surely he’d understand.
She got dressed quickly, and tried to make herself presentable as she darted out of her apartment. She hoped he wouldn’t be too frustrated that it was so early, and knowing him he was probably still sleeping but she didn’t want him to take off for another part of the world or something because of her stupid fan girlish mistake.
How could she just do that? Act like another of those stupid girls who found themselves love stricken by the thief or magician? Just force herself on him as though it were nothing…
She felt terrible, especially when they’d only seen each other again for such a small time, and she knew Kaito was still keeping something from her…
For all she knew he had a wife in another country or something. Maybe a child he’d failed to mention…
Which was even more ridiculous as she thought about it, but still.
Somehow she found the courage to bang on his door though, and call on him regardless. Her fear of losing him overcame her fear of what he might tell her, even if it was “I don’t love you.” People did stupid things in love, and well… she’d put whatever hopes she had on the line if it meant she could at least hold on to her best friend for a bit longer.
She banged again and there was still no answer. Hesitantly she tried the handle and she heard a muffled, “Just come in…” from the other room as she opened it.
“Jii that’s-” Kaito walked into the room and she found herself staring at him as he stood their sleepily in his pajama pants and a button up shirt that he was still sliding on. “A… Aoko-” he said stammering.
She was too busy staring at his chest to really notice. She realized at once that she hadn’t really seen him out of a medium sleeved shirt since she met him in the tea shop, and never with his shirt open. He turned when he saw her eyes on him and tried to hastily button them up, but she was across the room and had grabbed his arm.
“Dammit Aoko don’t-” she heard him snap.
She didn’t care at that point.
Suddenly she was well aware of the first time she’d seen his fridge empty, and all those painkillers in the bathroom. She wondered how she’d let it all slide by so easily. She thought about all the times he wouldn’t lean too close to her, or let her wrap her arms around him so easily… and no wonder.
He might as well be a skeleton.
The scars that he had on his shoulder, and a few crisscrossing his torso were nothing to the way his ribs popped out. She only wondered what he had looked like months ago before she started to feed him.
It was only then she thought to look up, and noticed he apparently hadn’t had time to put the cover up make up she’d almost forgotten about at this time.
Dark circles were under his eyes, his hair a mess with the grey more obvious than ever, and he looked gaunt and exhausted.
She realized she was shaking with anger.
“God Kaito… what have you done to yourself?”
He turned away to try to finish buttoning his shirt but she clung to his arm, “Don’t you dare turn away from me! No wonder Jii called!! You lied didn’t you? You have been downing those pills too!”
He winced, “No… I… not all. Sometimes I’ll take a couple of the painkillers, but only the sleeping meds really if I need the sleep. I… It’s not easy to get rest without them…”
“And do you eat? If I’m not here? Kaito you look like a skeleton! Do you not care? What are you trying to do? Kill yourself? All those articles-” she wondered if he really was. If he was doing heists like this, and being stupid enough to almost crash land his glider.
“It… It doesn’t matter Aoko-”
“Do you not think I’d care? That you’re mother would care? Jii? You’re being selfish!! Kaito you-” he pulled away and swerved to stare at her. She’d never seen Kaito really angry before, not even when she’d last screamed at him all those horrible things.
Never like this as his eyes blazed, and he looked as though he might as well be dying. She’d never seen him break poker face like this…
“It doesn’t matter alright!” he shouted at her fiercely. “Why do you even stay near me? Why do you try Aoko? Dammit how could you kiss me?” He took a few more steps away and shook his head, “You hated me remember!? What changed huh? I deserve this… Do you know how many lives I’ve ruined? Yours, Mom’s, your fathers…” he shook as he spoke. “And I’d finish it if I could find Pandora. I’d stop but I can’t find the damn gem. Its no where. I’ve gone all around the world and she doesn’t even exist, and I can’t stop because if she does and they get it-” she realized he was trembling harder.
“Kaito-” she whispered hoarsely, except now that he let it out he couldn’t stop.
“And they all think… they all think KID’s some phantom. That he can just keep going, and I try. I try as Kaito and I try as KID. I’ve hidden the fact I can’t sleep at night, because every time I close my eyes its like I’m just waiting for them to come and finally know its me, and for them to kill me just like they did Dad. Or for the news to come that they decided to go after Mom or Jii… or… or You…” he looked away from her. “I… I wish I’d never returned then, and so I down the damn pills because at least then I’m so knocked out I don’t dream usually.”
Her eyes were wide and she was aware that tears were building up, just like her anger was nearly as strong as the horror she was feeling. Suddenly she understood everything much clearer…
He laughed hoarsely, “They never seem to realize that when you take something like this on you have to do it alone. I… I don’t dare bring anyone else into the mess because I don’t dare. I’ve traveled alone for so long now, unless its with Jii.” He hung his head, “And then I saw you all those months ago and forgot what it was like. But when you kissed me last night I realized-”
“So you’re going to run off again? And what? Get yourself killed?” she was nearly screaming as her anger poured out of her. “Kaito look at this!” she grabbed for his shirt opening it up, “No wonder Jii made you take some time off!! You cant’ do heists like this. I know you’ve been hiding those circles with make up, but have you seen the grey in your hair?” She reached up and finally fingered the wisps gently. She saw him close his eyes.
“You’re not even thirty Kaito… You’re not suppose to have grey this early. You’re wearing yourself out, and you still have years to find Pandora-”
“I wanted to be able to retire KID by then…” he told her softly. “I… I thought I might be able to put the cloak aside, and I didn’t want to see you until I could swear it was over. I admit I was angry when Jii called you before, but… I missed you-” she realized his arms had wrapped around her and he’d buried his head in her anger.
She felt like she was suddenly holding a very smile child, and her anger simply evaporated. They were both still so young, and here was a young man who had seen and done more than most people would in a lifetime, and done so completely alone.
Idiot.
Finally she asked softly as she found herself stroking his hair comfortingly, “Then… then you don’t hate me?” She was reminded of when they had first seen each other after such a long time and she’d asked him that same question.
She felt him pull away and look at her, she could almost swear the sparkle was returning to his eyes again and he shook his head. “Haven’t you been listening to a word I said?”
“But you said-”
“Aoko I love you.” The words were sharp and almost cold in someway, except that he was still looking at her as though he was waiting for her verdict.
She found that her pulse was speeding up again and she felt a rush to her brain, “But last night-”
“I was scared. For that matter I’m still scared. If I were to lose you, I don’t know what I’d do. Damn you just saw what I’ve done to myself. I’m not stupid, but…” he shook his head. “I’m not the prize everyone things, and I’m definitely not deserving of you. You should have someone better, and I didn’t want you to find out. Not like this. It’s bad enough I’m KID but-”
She stepped forward and wrapped her arms back around him. It still scared her how thin he was, and how well he’d managed to conceal it from her for so long. Well he was very mistaken if he thought he was going to get away with it now.
“You’re the stupidest person I know… you realize that right?”
She could almost feel him smile as his arms wrapped hesitantly around her. She snuggled into his chest further and sighed, “Oh and if you even consider going anywhere your going to find a very angry woman at your next heist with a mop, if I have to knock you out with it and drag you back here by your ear. That or I’ll see to it they put the gem in the middle of a very large aquarium.”
“You’re a cruel, cruel individual… you realize that right?”
“Mmmm but you love me, so you’ll forgive me right?”
She heard him snort, but he didn’t refute the point.
When they finally pulled apart Aoko sighed and looked around the apartment, “I don’t know what Dad’s going to do when I tell him I’m moving in here… but I guess he’ll get use to it-”
Kaito nearly fell over causing her lips to turn up in a smile as he made odd noises of protest.
“What? You think I’m honestly letting you live alone after what I just found out? You have a guest room anyway, and I’m pretty sure you just said you loved me. Not to mention as much as you end up passing out at my place you can’t argue about propriety. You’re apartment’s nicer than mine anyway-” she added smiling.
“….I don’t have a say?”
“Not really no. Think of it as revenge for failing to mention you were wasting away into a corpse.”
“….”
And like that things were suddenly alright, or at least mostly. It felt more like they had in a long time, even if she was still angry at his damn reckless behavior. Except that as much as he complained as she began discussing where she’d put her things, she was also well aware of the color back in his face and way his eyes kept the sparkle she’d seen earlier.
And for the first time in a long time, she really did believe that maybe, just maybe, everything would turn out alright.
A/N: I might have to re write the last 1/3 of this… it didn’t really turn out like I thought… but oh well… we’ll see ^^;;