31_days | [2-Feb-2008] [The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya] Smoked Cheese In The Girls' Room

Title: Smoked Cheese In The Girls' Room
Challenge: 2-Feb-2008 "what feeds me destroys me"
Based on: The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya
Characters: Mikuru, Tsuruya
Type: Angst? / humor / parody; 200 words
Warnings: Lame parody.

The Melancholy Of Haruhi Suzumiya © Nagaru Tanigawa / Noizi Ito / SOS Brigade / Kadokawa Shoten / Kyoto Animation.
"Smokin' In The Boys Room" by Brownsville Station.

Mikuru found Tsuruya huddled in a corner of a school restroom. "Tsuruya?" asked Mikuru. "Are you alright?"

Tsuruya giggled, more slowly and lazily than usual. "Yeah... I gots some good stuff, Mikuru-chan."

Mikuru gasped. "Is that— smoked cheese?"

"The Netherlands' finest," Tsuruya said. "Want some?"

"NO!!" Mikuru said. "Tsuruya, that stuff will ruin your health! It can even cause brain damage!!"

"Aw, whad'ya talkin' 'bout?" Tsuruya said. "There's nothin' wrong with my brain, nyoro... nyoro... nyoro?" She burst out laughing.

A stern Mikuru walked up to Tsuruya and held out her hand. "Tsuruya, give me that smoked cheese."

Tsuruya snorted and giggled again. "Thoughtcha didn't wants none."

"I'm serious, Tsuruya! You're my friend! I won't let you do this to yourself!" Mikuru reached out to grab Tsuruya's stash.

"HEY, BACKS OFF!!" Tsuruya angrily slapped Mikuru's hand away. And then, she suddenly crumpled. "Oh, no! Mikuru, I'm megas sorry, I didn't means it..." She hung her head and began to cry.

Mikuru hugged her distraught friend. "It's alright, Tsuruya... I know it was only the 'smoked cheese talking'."

"*sniff* I thoughts *sniff* I could handles it," Tsuruya sobbed.

"The first step," Mikuru said gently, "is admitting that you have a problem."