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31_days2007-07-24 10:20 am
a-white-rain.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2007-07-24 10:20 am
[July 24] [X/TB] What I Want
Title: What I Want
Day/Theme: July 24: You are second hand smoke.
Series: X/1999/Tokyo Babylon
Character/Pairing: Subaru; Seishirou/Subaru
Rating: PG
When he first started smoking, he picked up mild sevens. While he didn't expect to get the hang of it right away, he didn't think he'd throw up after smoking just one.
He didn't think the image that would appear in his mind would be Seishirou-san, kind veterinarian, holding him while his sister cackled in the background. He had wanted the image of Seishirou-san, the heartless Sakurazukamori, who broke his arm and heart effortlessly.
He had wanted the real Seishirou, only to have the two images blur in his mind.
At one point he would have submitted to this. He knew very well that you can't always get what you want, and he felt he generally deserved whatever he, got anyway. He couldn't do that any longer if he wanted to get strong enough to kill Seishirou, though. So, he hid the rest of the mild sevens in the dresser drawer where he kept some of the clothes his sister made him and went out to buy any other brand but mild sevens.
The second cigarette he smoked left him in a coughing fit. He smoked and smoked until he had mastered it. It took him the entire pack. Then, he pressed him face into his pillow and cried himself to sleep. The next morning he decided that he couldn't pretend he didn't love Seishirou anymore or that he wanted to kill Seishirou. He decided that he would have the other man kill him instead.
Nearly ten years later, Subaru was cleaning out his apartment, planning the pack the bare minimum and leave to search for Seishirou's old home; maybe there he could find out what Seishirou had wanted from him.
It wasn't strictly necessary for him to pack anything his sister had made for him, the least of which, they didn't even fit anymore. But Subaru was one to cling to his ghosts.
He found the first pack of cigarettes he ever bought.
From then on, he only smoked mild sevens.
Day/Theme: July 24: You are second hand smoke.
Series: X/1999/Tokyo Babylon
Character/Pairing: Subaru; Seishirou/Subaru
Rating: PG
When he first started smoking, he picked up mild sevens. While he didn't expect to get the hang of it right away, he didn't think he'd throw up after smoking just one.
He didn't think the image that would appear in his mind would be Seishirou-san, kind veterinarian, holding him while his sister cackled in the background. He had wanted the image of Seishirou-san, the heartless Sakurazukamori, who broke his arm and heart effortlessly.
He had wanted the real Seishirou, only to have the two images blur in his mind.
At one point he would have submitted to this. He knew very well that you can't always get what you want, and he felt he generally deserved whatever he, got anyway. He couldn't do that any longer if he wanted to get strong enough to kill Seishirou, though. So, he hid the rest of the mild sevens in the dresser drawer where he kept some of the clothes his sister made him and went out to buy any other brand but mild sevens.
The second cigarette he smoked left him in a coughing fit. He smoked and smoked until he had mastered it. It took him the entire pack. Then, he pressed him face into his pillow and cried himself to sleep. The next morning he decided that he couldn't pretend he didn't love Seishirou anymore or that he wanted to kill Seishirou. He decided that he would have the other man kill him instead.
Nearly ten years later, Subaru was cleaning out his apartment, planning the pack the bare minimum and leave to search for Seishirou's old home; maybe there he could find out what Seishirou had wanted from him.
It wasn't strictly necessary for him to pack anything his sister had made for him, the least of which, they didn't even fit anymore. But Subaru was one to cling to his ghosts.
He found the first pack of cigarettes he ever bought.
From then on, he only smoked mild sevens.