{May 30} Insanity vs. Sanity(?) {D. Gray-Man}

[furyfaux.livejournal.com]

Title: Insanity vs. Sanity(?)
Day/Theme: May 30/there is a crack in everything (that's how the light gets in)
Series: D. Gray-Man
Character/Pairing: Kanda/Allen (Not really, you gotta squint a lot)
Rating: PG--?

Kanda always found himself somewhere along the lines of perfect. Close, but not home, he was always walking down that straight line as a sober man, never stumbling or faltering in perfect, precise steps. He never looked back because he never found it worth the effort to turn his head that way. He found better ways to use up precious energy than to look back at all his faults and imperfections and mistakes…

It held him back and he preferred the present as his time manager anyways.

When Allen first came to the Order, he thought nothing of him or his intriguing past (because at that time everyone had demons, Allen wasn’t so goddamn special…). Not even when he held Mugen to his pale, fragile looking throat did he think twice about killing this boy, this child, this nothing but waste of time and energy.

Allen had 100 years to live, while he, he had only so much left…

It didn’t take Kanda long to realize that Allen wasn’t nothing, but something altogether. He still hadn’t earned him the time of day or random straying thoughts that lingered in his sleep, but he did catch his eye, Allen did. Now it wasn’t physical appearance, Kanda had seen worse (or better, depending on your point of view), but the way the boy acted that brought his mind to a standstill.

Smile. Grin. Laugh. Happy. JoyJoyJoy, Just. Too. Much. Kanda had never seen someone so happy without some flaw, some crack-…

It’s insane. The boy’s insane. It is the only logical explanation, he can think of. Only crazy people smile so much so it’s only logical that Allen himself is insane.

Kanda agrees to this in his mind, dusty, black strings of long, wet hair whisper against his tingling skin, still oversensitive from the hot water and steam from the shower. Sitting in front of his full-length mirror, he can’t help but seem to glare at his reflection, as if a part of him does not believe that Allen Walker is insane.

But he is.

Because as devious as he is with his innocent smiles and ringing laughs (ones that now haunt his dreams and missions and thoughts and) and overall self, Kanda realizes that no one is perfect, not even he. In his mind he has it all figured out, feeling very proud to have it known before anyone else.

There is only one way for Allen to shine so greatly, to play beacon in the fog.

There is a crack; in him and in everything. That’s how the light gets in.

That’s how he strives. 


((This is my first shot at this, but I do appreciate any kind of critism flames will be used to burn paper. SAVE THE TREES DON'T FLAME. :D))