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31_days2007-04-06 11:56 pm
lacqueredbox.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2007-04-06 11:56 pm
[April 6] [Hikaru no Go] The Defining Borders of Memory
Title: The Defining Borders of Memory
Day/Theme: April 6: leisurely encounter beside a stream
Series: Hikaru no Go
Character/Pairing: Shindou Hikaru, Sai
Rating: PG
The Defining Borders of Memory
In his mind, Hikaru sometimes saw the world Sai had drawn for him with sighing words and a faraway look in his eyes, his longing bare on his face. His hands would shift restlessly in his lap, playing with his fan, and he would be lost to his memories of those long ago days. Hikaru would grow impatient then, unsettled by the uneasy feeling, heavy in the pit of his stomach, that Sai would rather be elsewhere. He would snap, voice abrupt, demanding, and Sai would tilt his chin down, his gaze refocusing on Hikaru. Then Hikaru would make him play a game or show him an eraser, anything that would bring Sai firmly back to his side, elated, and Hikaru would know he'd been acting in Sai's interest, saving him from a deluge of melancholy memories.
He never willingly pictured Sai's world until Sai had left his.
It had been wrenching at first, like a cold fist had reached into his chest and squeezed his lungs until he was gasping and crying and wishing for Sai, please please please. His mind had violently rejected it, the way his body attacked virulent intruders, doing its best to protect him.
But months had gone by--months of his heart lurching painfully every time he so much as looked at a go board, months of numbed days at his school desk, avoiding his life--and then Hikaru had played Isumi. He found Sai again.
Now Hikaru took to wandering the quiet halls of the Heian palace, autumn leaves a burnished gold in the afternoon sunlight. He felt a lingering warmth in air, chased by the breezes of the oncoming winter. It made his skin feel tight. Stepping off the veranda, he wandered down the rock-paved path toward the stream that trickled in a winding path through the garden until he came to a stop under an old maple tree. There was solace here, and old promises; he could feel it in his bones.
He sat down and closed his eyes, breathing in earth and life and memories. Behind him, cloth rustled. When he opened his eyes, Sai was sitting beside him.
Sai was looking at the stream and he was smiling, his fingers peeking out from under his robe, stroking the ground upon which he sat. His other hand held his fan loosely in his lap. Hikaru watched him silently then bowed his head, knowing once and again that Sai was home.
It was the only reason he could let go.
"I'll see you in my Go," he said as the trickle of the stream and the reds and oranges of the foliage faded. Sai turned to look at him, his eyes sad, before he too faded away.
Day/Theme: April 6: leisurely encounter beside a stream
Series: Hikaru no Go
Character/Pairing: Shindou Hikaru, Sai
Rating: PG
The Defining Borders of Memory
In his mind, Hikaru sometimes saw the world Sai had drawn for him with sighing words and a faraway look in his eyes, his longing bare on his face. His hands would shift restlessly in his lap, playing with his fan, and he would be lost to his memories of those long ago days. Hikaru would grow impatient then, unsettled by the uneasy feeling, heavy in the pit of his stomach, that Sai would rather be elsewhere. He would snap, voice abrupt, demanding, and Sai would tilt his chin down, his gaze refocusing on Hikaru. Then Hikaru would make him play a game or show him an eraser, anything that would bring Sai firmly back to his side, elated, and Hikaru would know he'd been acting in Sai's interest, saving him from a deluge of melancholy memories.
He never willingly pictured Sai's world until Sai had left his.
It had been wrenching at first, like a cold fist had reached into his chest and squeezed his lungs until he was gasping and crying and wishing for Sai, please please please. His mind had violently rejected it, the way his body attacked virulent intruders, doing its best to protect him.
But months had gone by--months of his heart lurching painfully every time he so much as looked at a go board, months of numbed days at his school desk, avoiding his life--and then Hikaru had played Isumi. He found Sai again.
Now Hikaru took to wandering the quiet halls of the Heian palace, autumn leaves a burnished gold in the afternoon sunlight. He felt a lingering warmth in air, chased by the breezes of the oncoming winter. It made his skin feel tight. Stepping off the veranda, he wandered down the rock-paved path toward the stream that trickled in a winding path through the garden until he came to a stop under an old maple tree. There was solace here, and old promises; he could feel it in his bones.
He sat down and closed his eyes, breathing in earth and life and memories. Behind him, cloth rustled. When he opened his eyes, Sai was sitting beside him.
Sai was looking at the stream and he was smiling, his fingers peeking out from under his robe, stroking the ground upon which he sat. His other hand held his fan loosely in his lap. Hikaru watched him silently then bowed his head, knowing once and again that Sai was home.
It was the only reason he could let go.
"I'll see you in my Go," he said as the trickle of the stream and the reds and oranges of the foliage faded. Sai turned to look at him, his eyes sad, before he too faded away.