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31_days2005-10-27 01:02 am
catnap-writer.livejournal.com) wrote in 31_days2005-10-27 01:02 am
[October 27th] [Original] The Unbeatable Fortress
Title: The Unbeatable Fortress
Day/Theme: October 27:
Series: Original (Diana and Belle #27)
Character/Pairing: Jonathan/Evan
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: It’s only a game…
The game designers had outdone themselves. The fortress would make the Mycenaeans drool and the people of Middle Earth cry. It loomed over the lake-like moat and stretched up into the clouds. It was unbreachable by anything less than a team of 1000 Orcs, a dozen tanks, and 20 five-year-olds with magical ferrets. It would take Master Chief over a solid week to get in, if they actually upgraded him.
And the sadistic designers gave the players just two characters, a skinny hunter type with a self-esteem issue (and therefore bad aim) and a fairy angel/demon, who didn’t know what most of his powers were. Not a pair to inspire hope even in the most intrepid player.
But the best part of all is the easter eggs hidden in the game. 90% of the dialogue was replaceable with the kind of sexual banter that would make any fangirl happy, ranging from the stupid to the eloquent. The more pathetic conversations went something like this:
After defeating a mini-boss, Jonathan turns to Evan:
“After all this time, you’d think we’d have breached the defenses.”
“Well, I know what’s up with the fortress, but what’s your problem? Why can’t I breach your defenses?” Evan replies, putting his hand on Jonathan’s shoulder. Jonathan backs away.
“Quit it! Bad puns aren’t sexy!”
“Oh, and you want me to be sexy?”
“No, I want you to go away. I’m leaving.” And off he goes to the save point, tripping in embarrassment and falling into a really nasty trap before he gets there. And Evan laughs evilly as he goes to rescue his partner.
I’d tell you the good dialogue, but it’s past the dragon, and I’m stuck. I’ll beat it though, I hear that they get down after the chapter break and I can’t wait…
Day/Theme: October 27:
Series: Original (Diana and Belle #27)
Character/Pairing: Jonathan/Evan
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: It’s only a game…
The game designers had outdone themselves. The fortress would make the Mycenaeans drool and the people of Middle Earth cry. It loomed over the lake-like moat and stretched up into the clouds. It was unbreachable by anything less than a team of 1000 Orcs, a dozen tanks, and 20 five-year-olds with magical ferrets. It would take Master Chief over a solid week to get in, if they actually upgraded him.
And the sadistic designers gave the players just two characters, a skinny hunter type with a self-esteem issue (and therefore bad aim) and a fairy angel/demon, who didn’t know what most of his powers were. Not a pair to inspire hope even in the most intrepid player.
But the best part of all is the easter eggs hidden in the game. 90% of the dialogue was replaceable with the kind of sexual banter that would make any fangirl happy, ranging from the stupid to the eloquent. The more pathetic conversations went something like this:
After defeating a mini-boss, Jonathan turns to Evan:
“After all this time, you’d think we’d have breached the defenses.”
“Well, I know what’s up with the fortress, but what’s your problem? Why can’t I breach your defenses?” Evan replies, putting his hand on Jonathan’s shoulder. Jonathan backs away.
“Quit it! Bad puns aren’t sexy!”
“Oh, and you want me to be sexy?”
“No, I want you to go away. I’m leaving.” And off he goes to the save point, tripping in embarrassment and falling into a really nasty trap before he gets there. And Evan laughs evilly as he goes to rescue his partner.
I’d tell you the good dialogue, but it’s past the dragon, and I’m stuck. I’ll beat it though, I hear that they get down after the chapter break and I can’t wait…